Bedtime Routine With Your Children
By JC1969
@JC1969 (1224)
United States
December 14, 2006 7:43am CST
As a mom of 3, and a friend to many who have children, I can sympathize with those who have a tough time getting their children to go to sleep at night. Bedtime, in the world of parenting, can sometimes be a nightmare in itself. The key is to be consistent, calm, and in control.
Does anyone wish to share their issues with bedtime and their
child(ren)? Any tips to share that seem to work for you?
I've written an article about bedtime routines, which can be found here:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/22722/the_bedtime_routine_and_your_child.html
I often found, when my children were younger, it helped to have other parents as my sounding board for tips and ideas for the more frustrating aspects of parenting.
10 people like this
46 responses
@ricki1223 (138)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Right now as we speak I am typing, its 1:15am (ohio) and my 3 year old son is watching Dora!!
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
17 Dec 06
You are just going to have to sit down and take a moment to put together a plan of action that you know you can stick with every evening and every night for bedtime. You will not see a change overnight. In fact, because he has gotten into the late night, do what he wants routine, he will probably create resistance to your efforts to taking back control. In other words, he may scream, he may get out of bed each time you put him back, he may cry. But the key still remains: stay calm, do not get angry and argue with him about it, just put him back to bed, and leave the room. Most importantly, be consistent. If you have a routine to follow, he will begin to associate those quality moments before bed that he spends with you, as a marker or cue that he needs to go to sleep.
Good luck with taking control of the situation.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
ooooh so not good, you definitely could use this discussion...LOL
I hope you have found some useful information here and in my article. If you really want to change that, then you are going to have to develop a consistent routine with your son, and follow through with it every night. Again, I am a little tainted on the tv at bedtime only because I know that it can and does overstimulate the mind (child and adult alike) and it is usually recommended that you avoid watching tv about an hour before bedtime--gives the mind time to relax.
Again, I hope you find some valuable and helpful information here and begin to take back control of the bedtime routine with your young one. Let us know what you come up with and how it works (it won't happen overnight--give it time and be calm and consistent).
@ricki1223 (138)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Thank You and Yes everyones advice and little stories have help me.....but as of yet.....no luck, here in ohio it is 1:29am, my son is on the floor playing with cars and the t.v. has been off for 4 hours!! lmao!! I will get this whole routine thing someday!! Thanks:)
@shireishou (896)
• Indonesia
15 Dec 06
nice article.
I don't have children yet. but reading ur article able to give me a lot of knowledge. thx. ^^
@nobodyspecial (1011)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I solved bedtime issues early when my own children where young. I simply gave them choices.
When they were 'fighting' going to bed, I'd give them a choice. They could either go to bed immediately and have something special in the morning, or they could have a glass of milk, perhaps a cookie and then go to bed. I always had several options available for them to choose between. I felt in this way I was not only getting my children into bed and to sleep at a descent hour but I was also teaching them how to make choices.
Hopefully good choices.
Children often feel that they are 'missing something' when they have to go to bed and sleep before their parents do...by allowing them to make choices it helps not only teach but gives them a feeling of control over their own lives.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I never encouraged snacks at bedtime, because it isn't the most healthiest thing to do. I always felt it was better to have a clear and consistent bedtime routine that started before actual bedtime. It was and is a time to encourage quality time with them. During their bedtime routine, they were and are encouraged to make choices through the books they choose to have read, the pajamas they will pick out, etc.
Thank you for taking time to share your bedtime routine story with us.
@nobodyspecial (1011)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Ah but you don't know what cookie meant to my children. LOL! Cookie could be half an apple, or an orange. They did have a bedtime routine last stop being the bathroom for some toothbrushing.
As for quality time, we had that every day, dinner was conversation hour, not world events but of things that concerned the children. It was their time to speak or present their daily issues.
I used to say you can be a parent 100% of the time or be a parent 100%. I was a parent 100%.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I am a grand mother who is here 24/7
and we usually get her to bed at 8 most time with no fuss She is two ,
She has her pooh bear and elmo to bed with her and everything else she trys to drag there but we limit what she has so she has room to lay in .
This last week tho has been differnt she had a day with her 5 year old cousin. And all he does is run and shout and after we picked her up she had a late nap SHe has got to shouting at us it has took al week to get her backto talking normal lol
but bed time is later now oh I put her to bed at 8 but she might talk and holler for us till 10 . I will go in once or twice and tell her it is night night time and I lover her and of course we have kisses before she goes back down and I tell her love her see ya in the morning and she says it back.
Then it is really night night time
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
LOL...kids are so impressionable, and this account just proves it more. Amazing how some time away from her normal bedtime routine has gotten her all off schedule. She saw a different type of bedtime routine and environment and she adapted to that, and now you have to undo and redo. But, I am sure because you were consistent with bedtime routines prior, she will fall back into step--key is calmness and consistency, but hey you're a grandma and you probably have a few tricks up your sleeves we could all learn from.
Thanks for sharing.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I had 5 kids 4 boys one girl and as best as I remeber when it came to bed time that was it they went to bed!
also had open door policy that if something happened in the night they could come to us , that rarely happened tho.
When they were little had a radio on all the time for in the hospital they always had a radio in the nursey.
I also worked alot with the first 4 THe last one I didnt for hubby made good money and I didnt have too.And we moved alot for his job
@momofvma (71)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Well when my kids were younger we had a routine. We would all meet on the couch in the livingroom and read a story and then we would start with the oldest to youngest and we would go to their rooms and kiss goodnight, move to the next, kiss goodnight and then the youngest and kiss goodnight. Now that they are older it is basically they come and kiss us good night and go to bed. I have been lucky all of my children were pretty easy to get to sleep.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Same with me. We had a clear consistent routine at bedtime, and I really think that helps. When most I know who have issues with their young ones at bedtime talk about the issues, they have two things in common--confusion and no routine at all. Kids, especially when they are real young, need cues to help them associate the different times of days and what is done during those times of days. So, in the evenning before bedtime if you are putting them to bed with a tv as their sitter, it may give them the impression that it is nap time or just not bedtime. There has to be a consistent routine that lets the kid learn to distinguish bedtime from naptime, from other times of the day. Plus it is a good way to wind down the day for everyone and connect with them on a quality level.
@infinity888 (74)
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
my 2 year old is the touhest one when it came to putting her to bed. she still sleeps in our room and she usually is still up even after everyone else has gone to sleep. she would be up and down the bed, jumping all around or pulling everything out of drawers.... she would be constantly on the move and i noticed that she does it to fight off sleepiness. Later, we discovered that the only way to make her doze off is when she is snuggled close to her father.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I never allowed any of mine to sleep in our room--other than if they were really sick and I wanted to monitor them closely. When I was growing up, my mom did that with my colicky brother and it developed into a bad habit and made him even more insecure.
But, sometimes we have to do what we have to do. Hopefully by sharing these tips and stories everyone can learn a little something new or new ideas they can try to implement, making bedtime a peaceful and harmonious time.
@ozangel82 (753)
• Australia
15 Dec 06
I have a bit of trouble sometimes, we are in the middle of trying to get our 10 month old into a routine, but i find that laying with her helps.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
You want to be careful of the "laying with her" routine. It is habit forming and can lead to them expecting that every night, and then one day you will find you have a 6 or 7 or 8 year old that still needs you to lay down with them in order to fall asleep.
With a young one like yours, I'd suggest, a warm bath, and reading a few stories to her, and even some soft music.
Read through this discussion, I am sure you can pick out a few different tips and develop your own bedtime routine.
@FiredUp (270)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I agree with you...the key is routine. At the same time every night, after he gets ready for bed, I read my grandson a bedtime story while I rock him. He knows that after the story, it is bedtime. He will occassionally tell me that he is not sleepy or he doesn't want to go to bed, but there is never a fight over it. He knows that is the time for bed.
@inkedmama1111 (824)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Nice way to promote your AC content- I write for AC as well =)
I had problems getting my daughter to bed when she was very young (1-2 months old) so I started using a routine. Every night I give her bath and read a story to her- this calms her down and gets her ready for bed. She's very used to her routine now and she actually gets angry if I don't do it for one night (I tried!) She has been sleeping through the night (10 hours each night!) since I started with the routine, and it's great =)
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Well, that is a key point for parenting in general, but you need to add in a consistent routine daily, and at bedtime too. This in combination with the responsible parental care will definitely help shape and build the mind of a child during the key developmental years.
@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
Sometimes I had a bad time putting my 1 year old child to bed. He's like zed in Ice Age during sleepy hours. He still wants to play even if its already 11pm. I sometimes put him to cradle and give him a bottle of milk in order for him to sleep.
By the way, thanks for the link you gave for the tips and ideas of frustrating aspects of parenting.:)
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Hi,
Glad I could offer up some tips and suggestions. You should read through this whole discussion, and view the other tips and bedtime routines other parents are implementing. Remember to avoid the frustration be consistent, and have an organized schedule.
@marymaejazmine83 (470)
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
i have a one yr old son and i havnt experienced having a hard time in letting him sleep. except that sometimes he sleep so late. 10 pm. like that. he's always playing. but its just fine with me.
@ecpunzalan (401)
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
Im lucky with my son, no fights on going to sleep. It should be in a routine type of discipline. A warm milk always makes my son fall asleep and sometimes bedtime stories. Dont make him take a nap for more than 1hour in the afternoon or after lunch it will ruin his sleep at night.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
This is very very true. I know some parents who use the daily naps as a means of getting things done and taking a break from their child(ren), which is all good in concept. But, if they allow them to sleep longer than an hour, especially for the afternoon nap, they may put up a fight at bedtime. Best to fill the day with activities, and 1hr. nap limit, then add in a consistent bedtime routine.
@wvchell78 (564)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Thank you for posting your article. I will definately be reading it. It is now 12:40am and my 3 year old (will be 4 in 2 weeks) is still going strong. My 11 month old (will be 1 in 2 weeks) has been asleep since 10pm. My youngest wakes up at 7am faithfully everyday. My oldest will sleep until maybe 8am but no later. There are some days he takes a nap but some he doesn't. I turn all the lights out at 9:30pm and make sure all the noise in the house is at a minimum. I am not sure what else to try.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
You definitely want to start implementing a bedtime routine of some sort with the 3 year old, because "the not wanting to go to bed act" can and possibly will rub off on the 1 year old. You still have control of the 1 year old, but if you don't reign in on the 3 year old, you will eventually wind up with a possible dynamic duo that teams up on you at bedtime...LOL
Read through this discussion and the article, there are tons of good tips and hints for a bedtime routine. It is important that you implement one consistently, and calmly. Then, you have to be patient, because it is not going to fix things overnight, and may take a while for you to gain control--but the key is sticking with it.
@zgb_0001 (1381)
• Pakistan
15 Dec 06
I have tow kids,I also think Children often feel that they are 'missing something' when they have to go to bed and sleep before their parents do...by allowing them to make choices it helps not only teach but gives them a feeling of control over their own lives.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
If you give them choices in the routine you set for them, they will feel like they are in control of their bedtime routine. Also, if you are an active participant in that routine, they will have shared quality time with you, and this can lessen the feeling that they are missing something, as their little minds will be focused on the time you are spending with them.
Thanks for responding.
@mandrin823 (386)
• United States
15 Dec 06
my son is 2 1/2 we dont usually have any troubles getting him to bed he goes to bed between 10-1030, he gets a snack, a bath picks a movie and goes to bed. i like it but lately he wont stay in bed he gets up at about 4 and comes in with us to sleep which is a bad habit but i dont care to fight with him at 4 am plus i work afternoon shift so him sleeping with me dont make me miss him as much i dont get alot of time with my son so what time i do get i take even if its him sleeping with me!
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I hope you have read through this discussion and my article. There are some really good tips and suggestions that may help you.
Personally, I think a bedtime of 10-10:30pm is a bit too late for a 2 1/2 year old. Also, you may want to try something else other than a movie before bed. I say this because many pediatricians say that tv at bedtime can definitely overstimulate a child's mind, and not allow them to full get into a mode of sleep. As you stated, your little one seems to be getting up at 4am, maybe he is confused by the bedtime routine you have now and thinking that because he watched tv before he slept, that it was just nap time and not night time. Kids that young cannot always differentiate between daytime and night-time, so, they need cues to reflect the differences.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
This is a common thing to happen, and it is often hard to juggle a young child along with a new baby. You may have to look at the schedule the new baby is on, and offset your older childs bedtime routine and schedule to work around the new baby's schedule.
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I am not sure what you mean. Of course, every child has to have a bedtime, however, some children have to have an organized and consistent routine implemented so they feel safe, secure, and reassured. It is also a good time for parents to spend quality time with their children whether it is playing a game and/or reading to their kids before bed, kids generally respond better to a routine that is consistently done.
