trying an alcoholic cope

if possible go with him to the meetings and ask him about it. Say that he is not alone that you will support him in many ways

Honestly, I think he knows what's best for him, and maybe it's just not something he wants to talk with you about. You need to stop thinking about yourself, and take his feelings into consideration. However, if there are still things you feel you need to talk to him about, just do it when he is not in one of these moods.

It sounds like you are both going through some rough times, I think it'll be ok, just give things some time and be there for him, just to talk or to take a walk, things will get better eventually, you'll see.

Its obvious for you to be concerned and to be possesive It happens when you love someone But its better if you talk about this to him All you need is much space and place in his life that you aint getting now Work is ok but then at the cost of your family thats not good Talk to him tell him that you miss him you really do If he is a great guy as you said he is, then definately talk to him and he will understand

you sound like a wonderful person, that is alot to go through. Maybe see if you can attend some of his meetings with him become a vital role in him staying sober just like his sponsor is a vital role! Show interest in how he is doing, Ask him how his meeting were and most importantly be there for him no matter what he will need you he must know that no matter what he can come to you and talk about that stuff!

He goes to meetings because those meetings help him NOT to drink. He does this for himself first and for you after....yes also for you and the children. It is said only an addict can understand another addict...those of us who have never experienced the things they have can only imagine the horrors and only imagine a small portion of any part of it. What I suggest for you and the kids is Alanon. Understanding as much as possible about the addiction and recovery helps both of you. Alanon will also help you to understand more about yourself and how to deal with his addiction. AA has what is called open meetings where spouses and S/O's can attend. It might open your eyes and heal your heart if you attend a few of those. Talking with his sponsor is what he needs to do when it comes to his addiction. Talking to you is for other things. He wishes to protect you from what poisoned his life and keep it from touching yours.

take the first step.first have a heart to heart talk with him.make him realise that he is shutting you out by nit sharing his burden. a life together does not mean sharing in only the happy moments but also the difficult ones as well.amke him understand that you are there for him!

You could go with him to the meeting or surprise him by showing up. You could call his sponsor and get to know him and see what he could suggest to help, or get to know the sponsor and other AA members as friends, have cookouts or other activities as a group. Maybe host some AA meetings at your house? The main thing is to get involved, the one thing I learned from AA is if you stand on the outside looking in you'll never accomplish anything, you got to get to know everyone, become friends, become family. I've moved on and learned to handle most things on my own now but I still catch a meeting now and then and still hook up with my AA family once a month for brunch at Mama's Cafe.

i have the same issue. my boyfriend and i live together and he has been sober for six years. I didn't know him when he was drinking/using but i have to remember that going to meetings and talking to his sponsor is what keeps him sober and i want him to be sober so i have to accept that as a major part of his life. in some ways meetings etc are more improtant than his family because without them he wouldn't have his family. i know its hard to accept and deal with. You shoudl try al-anon meetings. they even have them online! i got to step-chat.com. try it out. good luck and i hope to see you there :)

I know it's hard, but continue to be as supportive as you can. Maybe you could talk to his sponser to see if there is anything you can do to help.

every one cannot stop the habit of drinking... but you can reduce quqntit and then you can ask him to quit........ he can drink at home but the children should not be affected.......

after reading your posted discussion, i realized that somehow we have the same situation.. my husband (ex) always has a meeting outside and often times goes to the bar with friends. He also goes to his friends' house for them to unwind (of course drinking spree)... and totally, he has no time for us - his family. at first i was hoping that he will change. i keep on telling him what the problem is and keep on convincing him that he had to change for the children and of course, for his health, too. but in the later part of the relationship, i realized that no matter how supportive we are to him, he is not willing to change. he prefers to enjoy life as if he is still single and has no responsibilities to attend to. I realized I, his wife, can do nothing because he is the only one who can change his attitude. he is the one to realized what he should prioritize. in order to prevent drinking, the motivation should come from him. family is only to support and he should be the one to act on it.