Should parents have a say in what and how much grandparents buy for the kids?

When our son was younger we overcame the potential for problems by letting everyone know what we planned to buy as a 'family present' and they could contribute to that if they wanted. It was an arrangement that suited everyone and then either they or we bought him a small item from the grandparents and the balance of the money we banked for our son. We did not live near any of the grandparents so they always sent money. I think that both parents should talk to the grandparents and set out some ground rules. Sure they should be able to buy things for the grandchildren as long as they don't go overboard or buy things that the parents don't want them to eat too much of etc. The parents would be better off encouraging the grandparents to SPEND TIME with the grandchildren, i.e. reading to/with them or playing games and things like that.

i think there should be some control between the both extremes you have stated.

Well, I think it is nice for grandparents to spoil there grand kids, but if the parents think it is too much than I think the grandparents should respect that and maybe cut back on the gifts and spoiling.

Absolutly Parents should have all the say.

Yes sure. The pparents must know. The grand parents after ageof 60 they also become like child and they get attracted to grand children more than their own children.

I think grandparents believe they have to spoil the child because they don't actually live with and raise the child. They think it is okay to give them whatever they want and spend a small fortune on them. I think parents should step in and let the grandparents know when it is okay to buy the child something, but set a limit. My son's grandmother buys him all kinds of things, and when she buys him clothes it's helpful, but she could also be saving her money so she could buy herself somethings.

I think parents should definately have a say. Grandparents get out of control too quickly. Once you let them get out of hand, you will never gain control back! It is always a good idea to tell grandparents who like to buy too much to open a savings account for a child.

the way i see it is they had their shot at being parents,,hope fully getting most of it right and without interfearance from their parents,,this is also what i expect,,to parent as i see fit,,they are welcome to have input and give advice but at the end of the day,,they are my children and i will do and say how i want them to be,what they have and who they talk to/hang around with,,grandparents ,i feel,should see if any gift they buy could conflict with the parents wishes,,ie,,drum kits and the like,,just because others think a gift is ok doesnt mean it is ok for someone elses children.

I think so mymother inlaw buys way to much stuff for my daugter so much shes 2 And has three toy boxes full of stuff.

parents should have say..grandparents sould find out what the child wants or needs and talk it over with the parent..

parents should always have a say in anything that has to do with their children. they are the parents and if they don't like something that is going on with their children they have the right to say something regardless of who they need to talk to. i have never had this problem myself but if my mom did anything that i didn't agree with i would let her know. try to be nice about it but let her know how i feel

nooo..they shld hav absolutely nooooooo sayyyyy in wat grandparents buy 4 der grandchildren

yes because grandparebts like to just go out and buy grand kids whatever they think they want even though they want it and don't need it now don't get me wrong grandparents will always spoil grand kids but some times they don't need it so they should always ask the parents of the kids and see if it's ok.

yes they sohuld. there was a book i wanted when i was itle, but my parent swouldn't get it for me because it was my invisible friend!....you know what i used to do. go straight to my grandparents and ask them for stuff....never the parents

Parents hould have a say and Grandparents should repect the parenst wishes when it comes to buy presents for thier children. We put limitations on our children for a reason, buy them what ever they want or an over abundance sends a mix message to the child...that if they can't get what they want through the proper channels..parenst...saving up for it etc....they can get it by other means..usually by manipulation. That is just wrong.

YES!!! This has become such a huge issue with my husband's family. It's very disrespectful to override the parents authority or wishes and bring over mountains of stuff to the children. So much that Christmas doesn't even excite them. Parents have the final say, that's they way it is. Grandparents have an important role to play too, but it's not found in being disrespectful to their grown children and thinking they can do whatever they want to do. Just not a cool thing to do and will always cause tension.

ABSOLUTELY!!!! Let me tell you what a spoiled little brat I have right now thanks to her GRANDMOTHER!!!!!

Yes, parents should have a say, within reason. We have one grandma who will send home ENORMOUS toys for our very small house, and then gets irritated when they never get to play with it because there isn't room to set it up. And I am not just talking about large toys, but also things like indoor play tents that hit the ceiling fan and take up a quarter of the room. The other grandma will feed them Burger King every meal while they are visiting, and she'll make sure to get a crown for each of them. Then she sends home the leftovers, the toys, the bag it came in, the scraps of paper that tell you how to work the toy (because tops aren't obvious??), and the crowns from each meal. She'll buy something like sidewalk chalk for our miniscule patch of sidewalk covered by rose bushes and their thorns, and no driveway, and then get upset when I tell her that her suburban neighborhood has a lot more sidewalks so it should stay at her house. "But I bought it for your house." I hope they accept returns...

no

I believe that grandparents and parents should get together and make sure each are not buying the same thing for the child. My mother always asks if I am getting this or that. As far as spoiling the child, no I don't think a grandparent that overly gifts is spoiling. If they do, the child will let them know each time they to them begging for something. Then it is not you that they get hurt feelings with. As far as the loud toys that take batteries and annoy the crap out of me..my father is great for those. I laugh at him though because batteries are easily removed.