Redefining Words

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Abdicate - v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Carcinoma - n. A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph - v. To walk with a lisp. Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash. Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon. Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.