Should wives come in second with her husbands family???

OK. I see. Honey, you are never going to get what you want, your way. Let’s look at this from another angle. He’s got a big heart. Both parents are gone, so he’s big brother holding the family together and you’re sitting at home, pissed off because you are not the recipient of his affection. You’ve got no kids, so you are just sitting there, waiting your turn. He probably has had to make excuses to his family about why you aren’t there more often, right? Because…. you don’t feel that charitable toward them. They are stealing your husband away from you. When he comes home, the first thing you do is confront him. You sit there, lonely and alone. He’s been out having fun so you make him feel guilty for not wanting to sit at home with you. He’s out taking care of his other obligations, so he can’t understand why you can’t see that and at least let him be if you are not going to help him. Let’s turn this around. It’s just the two of you. TWO is a team. It feels really good to do things for others. He wants to feel good about the good things he does. Join him. Help him. Open up your heart. If he wants to fix something at his brother’s house, offer to take food so all of you can have lunch together over there. Put yourself in the picture. Whatever he wants to do, find something that you can do also so you can tag along and be a part of it. Here’s the kicker. Then throw in….”and honey, after we do that, maybe we can….” This is where you inject something for the two of you alone. If he is tired, try something quiet and relaxing at home that lets him know you’re thinking about him. The “Let’s talk about our issues” is pure bologna. Nobody wants to hear that. You both know the issues. He is avoiding the issues. He has his point of view and you have your point of view. You both are at opposite ends of the spectrum. You have to bring it closer to the middle before you even begin to say anything. When you get closer to his family, you will be able to get his family involved in helping you get him away to yourself. You can tell them that you want to surprise him with a trip for his birthday or something. Use your head and your heart. Good luck. Keep me posted.

No! A man should always put his wife first.

I think wife need to come first. My husband always put me first before anybody except when our daughter was still with us. Now that it just 2 of us, Im his #1 in his life!

UMMM I SEE IT NOW ,THATS ALRIGHT I SEE HOW U ARE

yas this is true wife lots of complaining

no way .his wife should come first and then his family.a wife should see that the inlaws doesnt feel unimportant after the marriage . the success of a wife is when she helps her inlaws.she shouldnt fight if her husband is doing something for his parents.try to consider the inlaws as your own parents. that is the key to a succesful family life

If this is the husbands first wife then she should be put second to her family but first before his and if she is the second wife she is to be first before his family but second only to the first wife's family but if he marries a third wife who is the second cousin of the first wife then this wife should be put second only to his family if he marries her a second time. If however the husband is adopted........"

You know the answer to this one before you ask. No. The wife comes first. Now, let's move on to the next step. By his family, do you mean his parents? Are they old and can't do for themselves? Does he feel sorry for them? You may have a tough time competing with that, so tread carefully. If that is not the case, then you have a different kind of problem. How well do you get along with his family? Really need to know more info.

No way, I think his wife should come first, always. Then his family, if he doesn't put her first then he needs to be married to his family and not his wife.

I know what the culture in the united states expects, however in other cultures around the world. When the woman weds, she becomes part of the husbands family and ceases to be part of her biological family. So in third world countries, the food that the woman gathers is now for the her family and that of his husband is they have a communal home.

No when you get married your spouse comes first. My husband always puts me and keeps me first and I do the same for him. We are married so it isn't like im single just doing what I want , I have him to think about and our future.

Absolutely not!!! When a woman and man get married they or bascially obligated to each other and their family.

I believe there can be a balance here. If it happens all the time, there's something off. Of course, occasions will come up where a man must attend to family things. This is right and good. The balance is what I would look for.

he needs to put his wife first i think if he cant do it for his wife he shoulded do it for anybody and he needs to put his wife first hes not married to his family hes married to his wife i know i have one that puts his family first at times and its one of our problems

No, he married her for some reason so, he needs to work it out with her even if it means going to counseling. They must not be communicating at all. God Bless

no the wife should come first

once a man gets married..he then has his OWN family.. i mean he still has his family..but its different once he's married. So i'd have to say WIFE first..then his family

I think spouse and family should be equal...it's unfair to put the family first and vice versa. there shouldnt be any favouritsm in this

I'm with the majority..no way!

Absolutley not. His wife needs to be first.