Falling in love with my lady boss
By chunyang
@chunyang (61)
Malaysia
December 20, 2006 1:00am CST
I am working in a finance company. I am an auditor. My boss is a
lady boss, an accountant. She's beautiful, a married woman.
To be precise, at first, I don't like her. At times, she show her staff
some black face. But when you get to know her by talking or discussing
other topics, she is open and can just talk about everything. That was
the moment I felt she is nice. I just fell in love with her. She dont know.
Is this right or wrong? I did try avoiding her. She asks me why. I did not answer her. She kept quiet but she says she treats me like
her friend and brother.
Sometimes, durring seminars and trips, we go together - hotel suites
with different bedroom sponsored by the company. During one trip
to Johor Bahru, we went with two collegues - her, me and two collegues.
That night, I couldn't sleep. Our suite have one living room and two bedrooms. When I went into living room, I saw her wearing a nightpyjama
without any bra on, watching TV.
I know then I like her, can u say love or lust. I didn't do anything except
staring at her. she didn't know. From that day, I love looking at her.
She give off that kind of womanly, beautiful look. Maybe she didn't realize
it herself.
I wanted to quit this job and change new job but now is hard time.
My boss pay me very well. I feel frustrated at times and shout at her
sometimes during working hours. She will look at me and say nothing and
walk away.
Is it wrong to love some woman older than me.
I am 21. She is 33.
8 people like this
82 responses
@mansha (6298)
• India
20 Dec 06
Don't ever make that mistake of letting her know your intentions. She is not in love with you and will never be. Better change jobs if you can't control yourself. Losing some money is better than losing your reputation. She may be aware of your feelings towards her if you so openly stare at her but still she has maintained her distance respect that. She didn't fire you so just pat your back and quietly change jobs.
@twistedelm (2)
• United States
28 May 09
What if this Boss is hiding her feelings? Maybe theres more at work here than what we know? (I had a lady boss tell me once that she'd date me if she wasnt married)--this told me something about her. I dont feel the age difference really matters with mates/ thats made up by society. I feel this person ought to make up there own mind with this perposed relationship because they are the one who has to live with the results? Remember' your boss has the power to hire n fire you!!
@datesman2004 (260)
• India
20 Dec 06
its wrong to love a person who is married.she treats you like a brother.do not see her like that she is your lover
@renxiii (1)
• Philippines
20 Dec 06
Yeah I agree with you... Its ok to fall for someone older than you or has a higher position in the company than you, but what is not right is the fact that she is a married woman. So just forget about her and look for single women. ;)
@santhoshbww (15)
• India
21 Dec 06
Hi friend to love an aged woman who is single then its okey and ,but if ur loving an aged married woman then please stay away from her. U will distroy her life and also their family members. U r young earning good salary then what is the porblem just find out u will get somany girls around u and choose the right one. Plz admire her nature, beauty and stay away form her. Look her as ur best friend.
1 person likes this
@shmeedia (1044)
• Canada
24 Dec 06
i don't think the age difference is the problem. actually my former boyfriend was 8 years younger than me!
but i understand your situation (i have had similar times!!!), it's really tough, and you must be frustrated and feel bad working in the same environment as her every day.
it could be, she even knows how you feel, because you said you sometimes yell at her, or maybe show strange feelings that you wouldn't show unless you were attracted to her.
you have to think about your job, and that she would not leave her family to be with you.
sometimes if you tell the person how you feel, but also tell her you don't expect anything from her, but just wanted her to know, because it is affecting your mood at work, she could understand your behavior better.
sometimes telling her how you feel could help you release your tense emotions and get on with your work, but other times, it could make it worse :(
i don't know your personality so i can't tell you what the outcome could be. sorry :( but i wish you luck, don't be too stressed over this!
@raghwagh (1527)
• India
21 Dec 06
I think you should limit your relationship.She is married and presume that she is happy with her marriage then dont interfear in her life.Be a good friend.If you don not stop now then you will regrete later.Also because of your wrong move one family and many lifes will be disturbed.So dont be selfish, as you know love is to see your lover happy and not to be happy making your lover sad.So give a good thought before making any move.
1 person likes this
@psyd_1 (469)
• Philippines
20 Dec 06
man, forget about her..she already has a family..if you really love her then you'll be happy seing her happy with her family..believe me, there is someone out there the right for you..just pray and everything will be okay..you dont have to quit your job..just let it go..think about her family if you'll bug her..hope this can help you..thanks..
1 person likes this
@binarycriminal (87)
• India
20 Dec 06
I hate her..i can never ever fall in love wid her ..she iz ....yukkkk
@innechen (1318)
• Indonesia
21 Dec 06
man..u are in big trouble...
fallin love with an older woman is no problem at all. Fallin love with your Lady Boss also no problem at all,But u fallin love with someone else's wife Thats wrong.
you have to be able to control ur feeling no matter how hard it is.as u said its a good job and good pay you have there, so dont ruin it just because ur feeling.u have to be able to put a line between love and work.good luck..:)
1 person likes this
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
20 Dec 06
She knew you were staring through her pajamas, and she liked it. She could teach you much. Of course it is dangerous territory to have the same woman controlling you both at work and away from work.
@euniceeleanor (5967)
• Singapore
20 Dec 06
it's not about the age! it's that you are trying to be the 3rd party in a marriage! dont ever try to go into such relationship...leave the company if you can and try to find for another better job. Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@ilunice (946)
• Netherlands
20 Dec 06
I think he who plays the piper dictates the tune. She is the boss. Even when something serious starts between the two, the boy will always be at the receiving end. It is either he falls in line with the wish of the boss or falls out of grace and be trampled upon. All that glitters are not gold. so be warned.
@subhadiproy (847)
• India
20 Dec 06
buddy....she s quite elder to u...she s married...having a family...i wd suggest u to stay away from it... u might like her.. but i guess tht s lust. just think of 15 yrs later...whn she wud b near 50 and u wud b just 35 ..wud u still like her?
1 person likes this
@anil_762001 (1636)
• India
20 Dec 06
Falling in love with your office collegues is common nowadays.About 80% love affair starts in office.But the main problem in your case is that your boss is much older than you.She is 12 years old which I think is a very big differnec in age factor.If she is only 3 or 4 years older than you than it is ok.Any how leaving a job only for this reason is not correct.One thing which came into my mind may be she wants physicak relation with you.If she agrees than there is no harm but take little bit precaution.
1 person likes this
@selva_only4u (116)
• India
20 Dec 06
you can love a woman older than u...but loving a woman of age difference 12 years and a married woman is not wise and its not accepted in the society
@wyykidd (1460)
• Singapore
1 Jan 07
I see that you are really young! Young man, I think this is not love you are feeling. My take is that you are having a crush on your boss, especially after seeing her in PJ and not wearing a bra!!!
It is not wrong of you. I guess it's normal for a hot-blooded young man to feel that way. Just be sensible though-let your head, not your heart rule. :)
@nishanity (1650)
• India
21 Dec 06
hey... listen to yourself... this lady has been nothing but kind to u and u even shouted and yelled at her!!! be sensible man... u think anything would come out of this relationship except breaking your heart? she is married.. which means she has a guy whom she loves and most probably some kids out of that relation too.. stop being a kind and just forget her
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
1 Jan 07
Well it is common for everyone to fall in love. There are lots of times when we fall on someone whom we know we cannot get. Since she is already is married I would suggest you to leave her on her own. Once I have fallen in love to my teacher who is 14 years elder than me. She is married and settled. If I do anything it will destroy my family and her family as well. Think what she will react after knowing your feeling. Most probably she might start hating herself and yourself. Try concentrating on other woman. Try find someone else. Its hard but try to forget her. Otherwise it will not only destroy you, but also her family life also if you advance. We all want the people we love to be happy right?
@kunal1702 (233)
• India
21 Dec 06
Plz make it clear if u r attracted by her then it is impossible to forget her by leaving the job. stay their & make her yr true friend & one day when u gain her confidence then tell her the truth & mean while plz remember post job life & spend more time wth your wife....
@satyamss (870)
• India
2 Jan 07
first of all No such a age differense is there in ur case....
But its not good to have an affair with a married one...and as u told she treated u like friend /brother , u are just breaking her faith.
and wat u told u like to see her, and u started it after u seen her without bra and in trouser...dear its pure lust...
so it will b fine to control urself...else u search another job.....otherwise u can b disturbed...that will b much panic...
@cutieissa (413)
• Philippines
20 Dec 06
omigod! this is not a question of age! from the very start u mentioned she's married. that's the RED STOP SIGN of going into a relationship w/ somebody. it is not wrong to love somebody older than u, even if she's your boss. its a bit hard for sure but its fine, morally. but if she is married, now thats bad. love somebody else who's free. would like someday that your wife will have an affair w/ her younger employees? think about it.. KARMA!
@pure_soul (21)
• United States
20 Dec 06
i think ur 100% right i mean it really not appropriate for someone to even start thinking of a relationship with a married woman it's like ruining her life her kids husband and after wards hers too....age doesn't matter now as it's a crush but will matter alot later on
