praying for faith

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I have been going to church for 20 years. I am finally willing to admit that the only thing I'm praying for is faith. How can I continue to go to church? It's a paradox and a sham. Is there a god who forgives, even accepts, the unbelieving? Is pretending to believe (and we're just talking about faith here, not lifestyle decisions) worse/better than admitting unbelief? At least I know I'll get an answer here.