Children attending Your Birth

I've taught birth classes for many years, and I offer sibling classes as well. Sibling classes are age appropriate, and are a great way for a child to loose the fear (if any) or anxiety they may have over birthing. But usually, unless taught fear by parents, children are not afraid of birth! I've attended births where siblings are present also, its never been a problem, as long as the child is prepared. I've heard from other midwives, that very young children at birthings, around age 2 - 3, tend to cry when the baby's head crowns...it was suggested to me this is from the child's own memories of birthing...

I really dont think it is a good idea for children to attend child birth. It might scare them for life and some might never want to be a mother. Plus if they dont know the whole biological process they would never understand how the baby got in, in the first place!

i dont understand you

I use to watch "Life" a while back also, and noticed that as well. They also use to show "it." But then they don't anymore, they blur it out. I don't know anyone that's done it, nor have I. I think I would, but only if my kids were older, where I could actually explain what was going on, maybe like 8 years old, or if they were 1 or 2, maybe 3. I think it is common, but i'm not sure. Yeah, I would like to do it, but not to sure that my dh would approve!

Preparing a child for being present at a childbirth is something that should be carefully done. For us that meant watching a carefully selected birth video we borrowed from our midwife and one from our library. His response to the video showed us that he wouldn't become overly anxious. We also played "noise" games by mooing deep and long like a cow. This was to get our son used to the possibility of me moaning during contractions. We would vocalize together for months before our daughter was born! So it wasn't unusual to him when that happened during labor. Also, for younger children especially, it would be important to have a caregiver there specifically for the CHILD. Not someone that is there for the mom who might watch the child. Someone who's only job is to care for the child in case there comes a time, say during transition, when the mother wants to be alone or the child wants to leave the room. Angela

When I was pregnant with my second child I talked a lot with my midwife about whether or not to have our son present for the birth. He was 18 months old. She and her assistant made a lot of good points. In her experience, the transition for siblings has been made easier when they were part of the birth experience. It isn't just a stranger their mother brings home after three days absence. Also, children are extremely empathetic and caring....at a friends birth her 3 year old daughter would pat her hand through each contraction and say "Good, Mommy! Good!" and it was SO sweet.

I forgot to add that I have 3 children, each about 5 years apart. My eldest was playing outside at a birthday party when my middle child was born. My two eldest children were asleep when my third child was born. They were all born at home. They have each been to birthings with me. They did not witness their siblings birthings, because, as I mentioned, the first one was at a birthday party when the second was born, and the first and second were asleep, at home, in their rooms, when the third was born, at home!

You know this year I gave birth to my daughter and my son just a month prior to delivery told me from where the baby comes out. Not the specific thing but said it will come out from under your skirt. I was surprised by his knowledge so I asked him how did he know that as I do not know this myself? He said oh don't you watch it on TV. He had seen child birth in movies and serials. I said yeah I know it looks as if it pains so much. he asked me when I had him didn't I know how he came out. So I told him I had gone off to sleep and when I woke up he was already lying next to me. In movies they perobably exaggerate things. He has just turned seven I feel its too young to tell him all the detailsbut I don't know for sure. I think its better if they remain innocent for as long as they can.

When we had our son I left my daughter with a friend. She was only 2 when I had him. I think she would have been freaked out seeing her mom hurting. Maybe It would of been different if she was older.

i have two step kids 9 and 5. i would never let them see my birth. i just had a baby and i could not imagine what they would have been thinking if they were there.

well, in the hospitals i went to children were not allowed in the delevery room, but every place is different. my friend (while in HS) watched the birth of her 2 younger brothers...she told us all about it...she was a little surprised at first, she was turned off to the fact of having children in the future because she saw the pain her mother went through...but then again, that was over 5 years ago...not she has a child of her own. i think if your child WANTS to see the birth of a sibling, then its fine. you should also have someone there with your child explaining whats happening to you so they understand a little more. you should never force it because they might get a little tramatized. ..at least they'll see where babies REALLY come from...lol

I think childbirth is for adults and not for children. I wouldn't dream of allowing any child of mine to witness any of the births of their siblings. Leave the children to have their innocent childish discussions. I would not like to hear a group of children discussing childbirth it just doesn't seem natural.

i have 3 kids and i just did not see it right for my other kids to see me in that much pain screeming and crying and all that fun stuff. all i wanted in the room with me was who had to be in there and my hubby. soon after the baby was born he would leave to go get the other childern to come meet there new sister.

I haven't had any of mine present due to fact of complications. There are indeed more and more even in hospitals now that do have their older kids present. Some mothers think it is better as the older kids adjust to the new little life added to their family

I also think that it is wonderful, I only have twins but if I have another child I will in fact have my children there to see and I know with them there it would also put me at ease!

i really think it is a bit too much being pregnant and seing the baby grow but the trauma of birth is not for my children they will experience this wonderful event when it`s their time .

I personally wouldn't do it.They can be, (depending how old) be very scared seeing their mama in alot of pain. I know it was hard enough for my fiace to see me in that state when i was in labour with our son-the part he he=ated is he knew i was in pain but he was in no position to take it away.

I think knowing how i was in child birth, it would be a very scary experience for my children to be there. my husband was stressed enough, without having to worry about keeping the children happy at the same time. i had both of my children in a midwife run, natural birth unit and had no pain relief so it was not a scream free zone! also, tore badly with both so the blood would have really upset my daughter. its definitely not for me! good luck to anyone expecting.

I would not want my older children present at the birth of another child. I feel it's a personal thing. Husband and wife created the baby, not the siblings. Also I like to keep children as young as possible for as long as possible. They all learn a lot from their friends far too soon anyway.

There's no way in the world I could ever fathom (sp?) my two yr old watching me give birth. Talk about screwing a child up for life. I don't think thats an image you could ever forget. lol Maybe if my children were older and understood the birds and the bees maybe.