Use daycare if not working?
By beth2419
@beth2419 (12)
United States
December 20, 2006 2:57pm CST
I was wondering if you would still use daycare for your child if you are not working. I have a three month old son and I was planning to go back to work in Jan and have the daycare set up. In the meantime I was told I have been laid off because the company I work for is not doing well and they can't have more staff than who is already there right now. But they said they may be able to have me come back in March. I don't want to lose my spot in daycare in case this happens. So I was thinking of putting my son in a couple of days a week for a few hours and go shopping, get housework done etc. I feel that daycare is important for socialization and him getting used to being without me. What do you think?
1 person likes this
54 responses
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I disagree with you. A 3 month old baby needs his mother, and is too young with different developmental needs to appreciate or even require socialization with other children at this age. The first 3 months of life are often called "the fourth trimester" because baby really physiologically and psychologically need mother's close continual one on one care. Through your baby's first 8 months or so your baby developmentally does not know he is seperate from you. It's around 8 months that babies begin to developmentally distinguish between mother and self--and show the first of many phases of seperation anxiety. Your baby is only a baby once. You are more important to your child's socialization, than daycare is at this point.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Thanks for the props! LOL! How old is your son? How do you know he never displays any seperation anxiety? You're not there to see it! LOL! Poor baby!
@my2babes (88)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Ok Dr. Spock LOL.
My son was in daycare when he was 8 weeks old. He is just fine, he has never had seperation anxiety and is very social and very smart. He is very loving and is not emotionally scarred for being away from me for a few hours a day.
PUHLEASE!
@my2babes (88)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Wrong, I am here. He is no longer in daycare. When I had him I had no choice but to put him in daycare a couple days a week. Now he is a bright 5 year old and loves pre school, loves to spend time at his grand parents house unlike his cousins who spent every waking hour with their parents. They won't even leave their mothers side....To me, that is a bit extreme...
I will not feel ashamed or have anyone call me a bad parent or judge me for putting my child in a daycare. I did the right thing and I did what I had to do.
@getnbuy (1312)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Don't any of you listen to Dr. Laura Schlenger? She says kids need their mothers more that anything else. A three month old is not going to get anything out of being with other babies. If you can, I would suggest that you give up the job until the child is school age. He needs you, not other kids or other care givers. That's what Dr. Laura would say.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Dr Laura has a PhD, this is what entitles her to legally be "Dr" Laura. Anyone who holds a doctorate degree is addressed as "doctor". Her degree is in physiology. She is still a doctor, but not a medical doctor. Dr. Laura's advise is developmentally right-on!
@my2babes (88)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Physiology By definition:
1. the branch of biology dealing with the functions and activities of living organisms and their parts, including all physical and chemical processes.
2. the organic processes or functions in an organism or in any of its parts.
Hardly a child psychologist in my book. Of corse, she is one person and we have to believe every thing she says LOL.
So sorry, you are right, Dr. Laura is the most educated person to deal with children, after all, that is what her major is in.....RIGHT?
I see nothing of any sort, no pediatrics degree, child psychology, nothing. If you have seen any programs on her, you would know she strives on contraversy, that is why her show does so well. just like Howard Stern. they love to bash people and get under their skin or try to for that matter.
Kind of like a lot of people on this board and in this world.
Oh well, Like I said, I made the RIGHT choice for MY children.
@Metallion (2227)
• United States
21 Dec 06
If you are laid off, why would you be going shopping? Can't count on that job hiring you back, so if I were going to use daycare if I were you I'd use it while I interviewed for jobs.
That being said, most daycare places will charge you a full week whether the child is there one day or all 5
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
20 Dec 06
If you can afford it, I would do it. I mean, you need a few days to yourself, and this would also ease your child into daycare. 5 days a week may be too much for him right at the start, so this would be the perfect chance to take him a few times a week to get him used to it before you go to work full time and he has to go to daycare full time.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I disagree. It's not so great for the kids, but it is time for oneself, alone, in spite of what is great for the kids. Older children, around 3 or so, do have friends and fun and learn at daycare, so for a 3 year old, a few hours a few days a week, can be good for mom and child. But an infant really WANTS his or her mother, so which is good for whom?
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
A 3 month old baby's education really should consist of learning that all of his emotional and physical needs are met by one loving careprovider, this teaches an infant trust. Babies who are shuffled around from person to person, babies who lack this very important relationship with one loving careprovider, often suffer from many problems, including failure to thrive syndrome. Babies institutionalized, orphaned, abandoned in hospital wards--often loose their mental acuity--and developmentally regress--due to lack on continual one-on-one loving care. How many of these babies grow up to blow away their classmates and teachers? That would be an interesting study. There's also alot of different attachment disorders that babies learn, instead of learning trust at home.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I have 3 grown children, you can get things done with baby with you...
@DRoddy77 (1776)
• United States
20 Dec 06
I have heard of some stay at home moms doing that. It would be nice to be able to afford something like that but I would feel like i was just pawning my kids off on someone else. I suppose if it was just one day a week or so just to get him used to it for when you do go back to work then it would be more understandable.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Why should a very young baby, who physically and developmentally needs one on one care, ideally from his mother or loving continual care provider--get used to being in daycare?
@Violette13 (1048)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Here's my opinion on this.. I think that you should do what you want to do.. If you can still afford the daycare a couple times a week, DO IT! :) It'll give you a chance to take a couple days to get stuff done, do something for yourself because as every mommy knows.. we need some down time every so often. The other thing is, that finding daycare you can trust can be difficult and if you really like the place you have and keeping your child in part-time assures you can stay there, then do it. :)
@mygreyparrot (1461)
• United States
20 Dec 06
No, my baby wouldn't go to daycare. If I'm home, then so is he or she. He's only 3 months so I wouldn't worry too much about socialization. They grow up too fast..spend as much time as possible with him.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I agree that a baby grows up so fast, appreciate his infancy and be with him. You are laying the foundation of his future relationships in the world.
@Devinarun (387)
• United States
20 Dec 06
i guess the idea is good of putting you son in the day care. in ths way i guesss he will be albe to interact and socilize with many of the other children and will not be a problem for you too.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I don't understand why children are a problem to be home with?! Babies need to learn socialization by being nurtured, loved, and continually cared for by their mothers...lacking a birth mother, then a foster mother or adoptive mother.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I agree with you. I prefered to be home with my children, I have 3. Not one of my children went to daycare as infants. Developmentally, an infant needs his or her mother--or--another consistant one-on-one continual care provider.
@jessicacuite (45)
• United States
21 Dec 06
why would i use day care when in a stay at home mom yes they need to soical with other kids ain't that with school is for other than teaching them and have them inneract with other kids there own age groups so why would you want to put them in day care when you can do that your self
@StacyRI (2)
• United States
20 Dec 06
Beth, I completely agree with you. I believe that it is important for your childs development to have a couple (if not a few) days each week to interact with other children, other adults, and in a different environment than your home. I would totally take advantage of a few days each week to yourself to regain your sanity, get some much needed housework and shopping done, all the while your child is benefiting as well. Also, another point I wanted to make is that if you keep your child out of daycare for a few months until you go back to work, the readjustment might be a little harder for your son because he had that time to be with you. 3 months to a child is like a lifetime. If you keep consistency with the daycare it will not be such a drastic change when he has to attend more days and longer hours when you start working again.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
21 Dec 06
3 months of age is too young to interact with other children. 3 months is a lifetime to a 3 month old child.
@vipul20044 (5793)
• India
21 Dec 06
Well am not married as of now but am sure why does someone want to put their kids in a daycare if they are at home
But then in yourcase you arent pretty sure that it might happen or not as in your job
and you made a sensible decision there is no need to lose a spot in daycare where your kid is already comfortable in:)
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I am a stah mom and I wish that I had the money to that. It is not only good for the child but for you too. I love my children more than anything in this wourld but sometimes you just need a break. To go shopping or clean the house what ever with out have a children attached to you.
@hsvgrl86 (194)
• Australia
21 Dec 06
well i am not a parent but i have done childcare studies, if i had a child and i didn't work i would put them into day care because that way u can have some time to yourself, it is very important that childen socialise from a young age and it will help them in the future being away from mum during the day especially when they start school.
@kristi73 (257)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I run a home daycare and I know that when people get laid off or need to take time off to have a baby. They still bring the child to me a few days a week just to hold thier spot cause they do not want to take the chance of someone else getting thier spot. Daycare is a great learning and socializing experience for kids. I think just a few days a week so you can take care of other things and have a little break can also make you appreciate the time you do have with them and are not trying to get things done. I think if you can afford it, do it. Enjoy that time with your child when you don't have cleaning or shopping, to just play with your child. Good luck to you.
