When to get Married?

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I am a little confused. Okay, I will start by saying I am 27 yrs. old, and have a 5 yr. old son. I became pregnant when I was planning to marry his father. At the time he was sent to Iraq, and I realized that when he was actually back he was out all the time. I also found out alot of things he lied to me about. I dated him for 3 yrs before all this, it just didn't seem to all come together until I realized the responsibilty of a child. I didn't marry him. I am not saying that is the right decision, but for me it was. I have been dating the same guy for 3 yrs., he is really the only "dad" my son knows. His biological father contributes financially, but never see's him. I still feel like I am going to have to do everything all the time, because even though my boyfriend would like to adopt him, his dad won't let him. Not that that is the major issue. We see eye to eye on alot of things, and are trying to work together and make a family life for the three of us. I know that marriage, relationships are alot of work, but is there a point that maybe I should stop trying and realize that maybe he isnt right either. I don't want to do that to my son though, and I do love him. I just find the way we were raised and our views kind of diffrent. We are also both very independent, and not used to working with someone on family issues or decisions. He treats me reasonable, but not great, and i dont get much help from him emotionally, with the house, kids etc. What should I do, becuase the marriage topic is coming up alot lately. Should we try to go to counceling.