Jokes

Female voice to the driver: Can't you wait until I get my clothes on? Fifty soldiers twisted their neceks out of joint while the laundress climbed aboard with a basket of clothes.

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

ARE YOU THE WEAKEST LINK? Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. You can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil or paper! OK? Let's find out just how smart and clever you really are. Ready? ... GO!!! FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. (You know you took too much time.) SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! LAST QUESTION: Mary's father has five daughters: mumu, meme, mimi, momo. What is the name of the fifth daughter, if it begins with "ma"? ANSWER: Mama? Of course not. The fifth daughter's name is Mary. Read the question again.

Why a christmas tree better than a man? It is always erect, Stays up for 12 days and night, has cute balls, and looks good with lights on