Without God....

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I need your comments about this.... Note that this entry falls under the category of Perspective and my sentiments do not necessarily reflect or echo everyone's. The following is an excerpt from my Philosophy of Religion paper. If I were to wake up one day and discover that God, beyond doubt, did not exist everything else would remain unchanged, unaffected, and unconcerned. Everything else but me. I try as much as possible to end each day with a prayer. I thank Him, He Who Sees and Knows Everything, for the day’s accomplishments and failures. If I were to discover that the God whom I prayed to every night did not and never had existed I would feel a sense of betrayal well. So, all along I’ve been such a fool to succumb to the belief that my prayers were being heard? How gullible, to defend a faith that was void and hollow to begin with. I would feel outraged that I have subscribed to such a faith that toyed with and banked on human emotion, human vulnerability and frailty. But maybe for a while I’d opt to be incredulous or skeptical, unwilling to give in, unwilling to believe still that He did not exist. To be safe. To be in a neutrality that did not require me to analyze, to acknowledge that my insides were clashing in confusion. Like a chain reaction, the domino effect is fated. Defenses fall and slow painful acceptance seeps in. A process of undoing belief and reconstructing life. Pride is my favorite defense mechanism. I’d feel sheepish for having believed but then I’d feel a sense of satisfaction that all that I’ve done, all that I’ve done which I attributed to God, is of my own doing. Only me without the so-called divine intervention. Liberating. I’d feel a sense of newfound self-determination. Frighteningly though, knowing God does not exist, I find no reason to do right for I fear no more the fiery consequences of my misdemeanors . Which makes me then wonder if the human being is still “human” in the nonexistence of conscience. What would set us apart from the lesser-beings? The reality of the absence of God may somehow not only change the way I run my life but also the way I conduct myself, making me less conscious of the ills of sin. Probably my most unforgiving realization is that maybe I’ve seen God, all this time, as disposable, like everything else in this world. Easily reached, easily discarded, easily forgotten. Perhaps this line of thinking is a result of years of Theology, that God loves me in spite of myself, which developed in me a sense of complacency. Through this stark realization, I’ve come to consider that maybe my belief in God is one of convenience because of my incapacity to fully comprehend the nature of Him. Being human too, I have the urge to constantly make sense of things through over-simplifying. What would YOU do if you found out one day that God or the Transcendent never existed? P.S. I'm so glad that a lot of people really cared to comment and share their thoughts. Thank you! But before anything else, in this paper, we were required to try to imagine a world without God so everything is simply circumstantial. I am, if you must know, a devout Catholic. In the remainder of my paper I asserted this and that trying to question the existence of the Divine has made me more of a believer. source: MARGA