My boyfriend abused me!!
By angel_eyes88
@angel_eyes88 (181)
India
December 23, 2006 4:51am CST
This guy, whom i knew since a year, asked me out a few days ago. I do not like him, so I refused. I stopped taking his calls. Today, he met me online. He said that he is hurt and this is because of me. I told him that I was never interested in him and I was never too friendly with him. I, also, told him that I am seeing someone else and I love my boyfriend. After that, he got abusive and said dirty things about me(Things which i can't type here). Till now, nobody has talked to me this way!! I feel very disturbed. I can't think of anything else, since then. There is no friend, with whom I can share this, in this city. My best friend, is out, with her family, on vacation. And, if I tell this to my boyfriend, He might even kill that guy. I feel very lonely and insecure. Please , tell me what should I do, to get this incident out of my mind? Has anyone experienced anything like this?
8 people like this
104 responses
@Metallion (2227)
• United States
23 Dec 06
If you think your boyfriend would kill him you shouldn't be with your boyfriend, violence over words indicates your boyfriend is not stable and could be dangerous if you ever upset him.
1 person likes this
@oasisrevolution1 (28)
• Nigeria
23 Dec 06
Theirs no need to panic.All you have to do is to calm your self down and behave mature.Adulthood is full of such abusive statements.You should ignore the guy and go ahead with your sweet life peacefully lovingyourboyfriend.The abuser realising that you are not disturbed will be ashamed knowing that you have got the heart of a mature adult,in which case you have prevented impending trouble if you have told your loved boyfriend.ok.
@pritesh73 (606)
• India
25 Dec 06
FORGET THIS GUY.
THIS IS WHY OUR PARENTS ALWAYS TELL US STICK TO CULTURE.
ANY WAYS DO NOT TAKE TENSION.
If this guy disturbs you rather telling your BF tell u r parents the truth.They are the best care taker remember this.
BEST LUCK.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
you could have gone easy on your EX. he said bad things about you because he was hurt, his pride/ ego was hurt. the least you can do so you can move on is completely forget it happened. you can't tell anyone, you said, you told it to us here. now you have let it out... move on and be glad it was not physical abuse, he used words, and just think of it as something you can use so you can better polish yourself, and be a little nicer on men. they can be so mean if threatened.
@josan181237 (1204)
• Philippines
23 Dec 06
tell your boyfriend about it so you won't feel very lonely and insecure. just make sure he won't kill the guy.
@Fallingleaves (229)
• United States
23 Dec 06
I agree with this poster. You need to trust your boyfriend and let him know what is going on. As for the abusive person, block him from email and any instant messenger. Dont let yourself be the victim and take action to protect yourself.
@josan181237 (1204)
• Philippines
23 Dec 06
oh and i forgot..i thought your boyfriend was abusing you (see title of discussion). was the abusive guy also your boyfriend? i'm confused..oh well..
@angel_eyes88 (181)
• India
24 Dec 06
Thanks for your reply!! I would talk to my boyfriend!! And yes, the guy who abused me is not my boyfriend!!
@remowus (9)
• United States
23 Dec 06
You should probably ignore him. It sounds like he may have a problem. There are thousands of people you can chat with on the net. Just be careful you don't give them your primary email. I always go to the free email services and get an email address
for special purposes like this.
@smartguy71 (265)
• Pakistan
23 Dec 06
Well u did the rite thing coz u got to kno abt the reality of tht guy in the beginin
@sundeepm474 (888)
• India
24 Dec 06
It's quite natural,if girls are too close then boys will show interest to love,but girls will give the same answer that is 'i never treated you such like'.
@angel_eyes88 (181)
• India
24 Dec 06
But as I said, I never acted too friendly with him..We never had a relation..I just tok him as any other friend.
@moonlover7808 (71)
• United States
23 Dec 06
Insecure people of small character usually have to respond in this way when they are rejected, which happens often, obviously. Who would want to be with them? Anyway, I have been threatened like this before, called names and whatever. It has never amounted to anything but a need to lash out and inflict pain to what they deem is the source of their pain. Those are the guys who ask a woman out with syrupy sweetness in the voices and then when we say no, they turn into satan and call us b****es. Don't worry and don't get your boyfriend involved unless the guy makes more serious comments. Then you should really report him to the police as a potential stalker.
@jen20619 (1300)
• Ireland
23 Dec 06
i think that guy was very wronge to say such things to you.its best to avoid any contact with him.do not give him any personal information about you.i have too met some guys that think im interested when im not.sometimes they pick up on wronge signals.best you just best some nice quality time with your boyfriend and forget about him.
@here4uall (77)
• Romania
24 Dec 06
you shouldn't feel so disturbed about this....there are a lot of stupid people in this world,and you will go crazy if you begin to hurt because of them in any way...i don't think they deserve your atention.
I think you did enough by telling him that you have a boyfriend...all you must do now is to ignore him if he continues this way....i am sure he will stop harassing you.
@hardwrknmama (22)
• United States
23 Dec 06
Angel, you are confusing hurt feelings with abuse. You were not abused. Grow up an be a woman. Blow off that guys comments, by being upset you are giving him what he wants. Oh yeah, don't keep secrets from your real boyfriend unless you want it to look like you are guilty.
@knowitallgurl (923)
• United States
23 Dec 06
I have a question, because your title doesnt reflect what you wrote. Your title says "MY boyfriend abused me"...did you mean a guy who was a friend? Obviously your real boyfriend didn't abuse you.
If this guy knows where you live, Id consider possibly getting a restraining order against him if he lives close to you. Can't put it past these nuts out there who get obsessed with a woman and then take revenge on them because they (the girl turns them (the guys) down.
I would tell somebody about the situation. If he knew what buttons to push to get you to think about it this way, he is definitely an abusive person and maybe dangerous.
Take care of yourself and guard yourself against these nuts.
Be safe.
@angel_eyes88 (181)
• India
24 Dec 06
yeah..the guy who abused me is not my boyfriend..Any ways..thanks for the comment!!
@blondegirl1975 (4298)
•
12 Jan 07
He was hurt and he lashed out at you, i would simply ignore him, i would give him the pleasure to know that he got to you, It would be better if you just shrugged it off because you will than be the winner
You will be the stronger one, He cant hurt you so just complety ignore hime, you know that you are better than that
show it and prove it by keeping your head held high and keep smiling
@vikceo (1301)
• India
23 Dec 06
well i am really pity on you but to be very sincere come on grow up. you continued a realtion for a year and did not understand his intentions?? strange.. anyways whatever has to happen has happened. now the best way is stop thinking about all this and the way is stop discussing it like this. every single reply will simply make yuou think more about it and will make your life more bad. so jsut try to do some work which can keep you busy and give less time to be alone. that's it. if you still need help can mail me at vik.ceo@gmail.com instead of doing it at such a mass level.
@angel_eyes88 (181)
• India
24 Dec 06
Well!! i m quite dumb at judging people..so i cud not understand his intentions. and i did not had any relation with him, I took him to b just my friend and he thought otherwise..Anyways, Thanks for the comment!!
