Some old & Some New Jokes for U !

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Teacher: You have failed again. Aren't you ashamed of sitting in the same class with younger children? Student: What is there to be ashamed of? Even you have been teaching the same class for years. *************************************************** One early morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. MOM: "Wake up, son. Its time to go to school." SON: "But, why Mama? I don't want to go to school." MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." SON: "One, all students hate me. Two all teachers hate me." MOM: "Oh! thats not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school." SON: "Give me two reasons WHY i *should* go to school?" MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school. ***************************************************** Teacher: Students, tell me which is far away - London or Moon? A Student: Moon Ma'am. Teacher: Why? The Student: We can see the moon everyday but we don't see London. ************************************************** Boy: Dad, I saved your money today. Dad: That is good. How did you do that? Boy: Well, I failed in all subjects in the annual examination. So, you need not buy me new books this time. *************************************************** Father: How were the questions at your exams? Son: Really easy questions, but their answers were difficult. ***************************************************** Customer: I want to return this defective flute. Shopkeeper: What is wrong with it? Customer: Can't you see these holes in it? ****************************************************** "Silence in the court!" cried the judge. "The next man who shouts will be sent out." "Hurrah!" cried the prisoner. ****************************************************** Sister: What must we do to go to heaven? Joseph: We must die sister. ******************************************************* "I am afraid that when you take these exam results home to your father his hair will grow grey," a teacher told to one of his students. "Wow, he'll be so happy," enthused the boy. "He's completely bald." ********************************************************* Student: Ma'am, would you yell at me for something I didn't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good Ma'am, because I didn't do my homework. ******************************************************** Father: Ravi, how did you do in exams? Ravi: Only one sum I have done wrong. Father: It's O.K. what about others? Ravi: I didn't try the others. ******************************************************* Teacher: Where is the Engligh channel? Student: I don't know ma'am. Our TV set picks up only Doordarshan. ********************************************************