Facing paradoxes in English

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Let's face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant.. No ham in the hamburger.. And neither pine or apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted But if we examine it paradoxes we find that.. Quicksand takes you down slowly Boxing ring are square And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plurak of tooth is teeth.. Shouldn't the plurak of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian easts vegetables What the heck does a Humanitarian eat?! Why do people recite a play yet play a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down. And in which you fill a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard one it goes! English was invented by people, not computers. And it reflect the creavity of the human race -which of course isn't race at all :)) That is why When the stars are out they are visible But when the lights are out they are invisible And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts. But when I wind up this observation, It ends.