dear mr.bill gates

The Professor's Wife A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight. When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows: Dear Husband, You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good. I think I'll have one too." Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

I liked the START STOP button one..

Here is a basic descriptions of what may happen if an airplane had a specific operating system running. OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you crash.

General Musharaf, Vajpayee, Aishwarya Rai and Margaret Thatcher are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Both women and Gen Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed. Vajpayee is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything. Thatcher is thinking: "These Indians are all crazy after Aishwarya. Vajpayee must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him." Aishwarya is thinking: "Vajpayee must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped." Vajpayee is thinking: "Damn it, Musharraf must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she must have thought it was me and slapped my face. " Musharraf is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Vajpayee again."

That was nice and why dont you do that as a response to my discussion.From the way you have written i come to know that you very much like jokes.By responding you would share many jokes with me...

nice joke.

50 Cents After many months of trying to make ends meet, a couple decided that the only way they were going to get any extra cash was to have the old lady start hooking. Early the next morning the wife came home looking very haggard and worn out. The husband guiltily asked how she did, to which the wife replied that she earned two hundred dollars and 50 cents. “That’s great!“ the husband replies. “But who gave you the 50 cents?” “Everybody!” replied the wife.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. Man: "What's the matter with me?" Doctor: "You're not eating properly."

Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does you screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" " It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" (Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyways.) "Can you see the c:\prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" (Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.) "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." (Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?) "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" " I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. can you see that?" (sound of rustling and jostling) (muffled) "Yes, I think so." "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." (Pause) "Yes, it is." (Hmm. Well, that's interesting, I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send s/he hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.) "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No" "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." (muffled) "Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of you computer." (still muffled) "I can't reach." "Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?" (clear again) "No" "Even if you maybe put you knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power outage." "A power--!?!"....(AAAAAAARGH!) "A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. "Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good! go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!"

This is funny, I use to work in a call center and it is amazing the things that people don't understand. It would be a great Idea for Bill gates to provide a computer class for new users of computers.