My First Love

I cant say it was bad,i loved a girl for almost 9 years now and in between and until now i havent look at any other girl,she was married in front of me to someone else,i nver even tried to tell her that i loved her,that was my mistake and i am paying the price for it....... One more deadliest thing is that she lives very closer to my house i can see her what she is doing right now....every second this scenario threatens to kill me!