excerpt from unbearable lightness of being..

that is why Tomas fell in love with Teresa and not Sabina. Teresa has surrendered herself to Tomas completely utterly depending on him and because of this Tomas knew right along that Teresa will never have the capability to hurt his ego meaning he could open himself up and accept her in his life without the fear of being made a fool of. while in Sabina's case in spite of the obvious compatibility and attraction both of them knew that they will never be able to really surrender their own independence for the sake of being together forever. Both Sabina and Tomas have such pride and ego that living together would mean killing their spirit. Teresa has already killed her spirit even before submitting herself wholly to Tomas. Tomas for his part gradually accepted his surrender as a matter of course because he knew Teresa's existence is dependent upon him and as such in a way such knowledge, and the fact that it was his decision to make still feeds his manly pride and ego. For Tomas womanizing validates his ego and therefore validates his existence, but between the responsibility of caring for Teresa and living a carefree life of a womanizer in the end the weighty resolution of caring for Teresa validates his existence and reason for living more than the lightness of being that his womanizing affords him. Therefore the whole question of which is much better weight or lightness is answered by the author as reflected by the resolution made by Tomas.