Not living together before marriage
By shannon76
@shannon76 (1232)
United States
December 28, 2006 11:51pm CST
I want to see if anyone out there still believes in NOT living together before marriage. I am on my second marriage and have lived together with guys before. My current husband was different though. We dated 2 years before we got married and we never lived together. We have been married now for a year and a half.
So what do you think? And why.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@AngEngland (320)
• United States
29 Dec 06
There is really no advantage to it. Some will say "It will make your marraige stronger if you DO end up getting married" yet research has proven that isn't true. You are twice as likely to divorce if you lived together prior to marriage than if you didn't.
My husband and I not only didn't live together before marriage, but we also didn't sleep together before marriage.
We are still out there!! :-) Don't dispair. I've added you as a friend.
1 person likes this
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Well, I can name two that I have found but I know there are many many others.
First being the study that Scott Stanley of the Center for Marital and FAmily Studies at the University of Denver, did. Their findings suppot the 50% divorce rate.
There was another study done from the University of Wisconsin. The data collected from that study found the same - said that their odds of divorce by 50% of couples that cohabit before marriage. Said that only 15 out of every 100 of cohabitating couples were married after a decade.
I know there are many many other studies that I have heard and to be honest I can not resite or recall where they got their information from but it is alarming.
@Ashida (1370)
• United States
29 Dec 06
That's a tough question. I don't believe in living with someone before marriage. I'm sure some people will spout off all the advantages of living with someone first -- checking to see if you're compatable, and all that. But you should already know that before you get married anyway. For me, marriage is more than that. Marriage is work. it's understanding that the person you love may do things that drive you crazy, but so what? Nobody's perfect.
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Exactly! I have a million people tell me all the time that I was dumb to not have lived with my husband before we wed. But when I bring up the statistics to them about people that live together before marriage and how high the divorce rate is, they brush it off! I mean think about it, if you live together and everything is fine, you know there is always the option to leave, right? Then you decide to get married. Most couples can't just turn off that "I can leave at anytime" light bulb once they are married.
