Do you agree with letting a loved one pass if their health is not improving?

yes 2 years ago I had to make that disission my hubby had bladder cancer fought for 9 months did everything the docs told us but it was to far gone he had just turned 62.and it was his wish no more meds if he went into a coma that was made years before when his father passed but it was stilll hard to sign the paper work.

i have never been faced with this decision however my reply is based on what would i like to happen to me. if i was ever in this state and doctors felt that i would not recover, even with treatment, that i would jsut get worse.. i would have to hope that one of my loved ones would have the courage to step in and inform them that i would not like to live like that. it is my opinion that i would not like to live if my freedoms have diminished, and relying on someone to always give me treatment, to always be looking after me...i couldnt stand that and would rather pass away peacefully without 20 needles sticking into me. khris

hi. i am sorry with what happened to your grandmother. As for me, I had that exprienced before with my grandfather. Ny aubt is a doctor herself so she knew that my grandfather cannot recover anymore evnthough we put all those things to him, the doctor from the hospital said that the onnly thing keepinh him alive are the gadgets , that its up to us if we want to keep the gadgets or just let him die....we kept the gadgets. Evnthough it means paying expensive hospital bills, it doesnt even matter. Its not a question of whether he will recover or not, its just a way of buying time just so you could be with him even for a short time, because you know that you will not see them again.

Awww...that must have been tough. It did happened to my uncle who was in ICU after suspected internal bleeding. There weren't any choices left as chances of recovery is very slim so he passed away in a few hours time. It was really sad.

Actually I HAVE been faced with this problem. Well, okay, not me personally but when I was 14, my Nana (my great grandmother) was 77, in hospital with pneumonia and emphysema and her daughter (my Nanny) and my father were faced with the same predicament. In the end, it was my Nana that said "Let me go, it's my time to go be with God." If your grandmother cannot speak for herself, I think it would be a case of how well your family knows her and if you think she would want to suffer needlessly. Also, you might look into whether or not she has a living will. There may be some insights in that as to how she would wish to proceed if she was no longer able to speak for herself. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this trying time.

Yes I dealt with this issue with my mother who had a rare brain disorder. She was literally trapped inside her body, unable to eat, talk, walk, see,or move. She went into resp.arrest three times and my dad always make them keep her on the respiratory. I kept telling him to let her go but he couldnt see himself without her presence here. After the third time he finally signed the papers and see passed the next day.

This is a hard decision to make. I was faced with a similar situation one time with a pet and it almost was the end of me. I cannot imagine with a person. I do fully believe though even without the help of the machines, if God means for her to be here, she will be strong enough to go on. I am glad she is somewhere they can monitor her though and keep any pain under control. I am praying for you and your family during this hard time.

I am 62 and I have been there. I suffer from emphysema and hypertension. Two year ago I also got pneumonia and I was hospitalised for a while. I thought I was going to die and I wanted to die because I was in so much pain. However, just think, if my husband had come had told the medical to discontinue the treatment, I might not be here to-day. I too got a lot worse before I got better, but thanks to the caring doctors and nurses I recovered enough to live a comfortable life. I hope your grandmother will recover enough to live another ten years. 81 is not all that old.

I have never experience this problem, but I guess If I were faced with this problem I would pray about it. I still believe in miracles so I would do nothing and just pray for a miracle.

Yeah! we've been there and faced the same situation when my grandparents were hospitalized. they even made us decide to remove the respirator. of course we didnt! we love them that much and let them breathe their last without a guilty feeling knowing that we did our best for them.

Ywes and I have seen it time and time again, to continue to force life on a body and soul ready for a better world is cruel of of selfishness by the family. I feel your families grief, but I feel hers more. Let her go and God speed

It depends on your grandmother. What type of treatment is she getting? I think she is still fighting, and as long as I saw signs that she was still fighting, then I would be right there fighting with her. It would be different if she would not survive without whatever treatment she is getting. If she is on life support, then I would keep her there until she showed no signs of life on her own. My mom was on a ventilator, and the doctors did not think she would survive, but she did. She was on the ventilator for three weeks before she woke up. The second week she was taking breaths on her own in between the times that the machine was breathing for her. That was our sign that she had not given up yet. She got off the ventilator and came home and was home for 2 months before she passed. Her illness was cancer, but she also had emphysema and caught pneumonia... she got over those on her own. She did not survive the cancer, but she fought good and hard. So I think you should look at all the details and look for signs from her before you make that decision.

At 81, your grandmother has lived a full life, I would think it'd be better to make the suffering as short term as possible. I had grandmother with dimensia and she was blind and deaf and could barely eat and it's a horrible thing to just have to sit and watch.

i think if someone will not recover and will be in pain the whole time you should just let them pass as this will be better for them aswell as for you

i know its very painful but i dont think we have the right to take away life.life is given by god,isnt it

i think it totally depends on your grandmother's choice.......

I have never been against such a decision, but its a good idea when doctors say that, now there are 2 points, first is in hospital envrionment she is more safe madically, and secondly in home/family atmosphere she will be enjoying so in this case enjoyment is more necessary

i dont know to be honest. it is a thought that crossed my mind, and i think if a member of the family who was in really bad pain 24 hours a day, and wanted to pass, then yes i think i would want them to pass. i could'nt stand watching someone in such agony knowing they had no chance of improving, that would be horrible.

it would be a very difficult decision for me. luckily(or unluckily?) my dad did not gave us that decision-making scenario. he just gave up after the first attack(which hurts so much since i wasn't able to talk to him that moment) it will depend on your financial status, for me, if i can support it - why not? though you need to FEEL also if their body cannot function anymore without machines to help them. they'll be in a very sorry state.

First I am sorry for the sad situation you and your family find themselves in. I lost my own Mother just over 10 years ago and had to make a similar decision. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I knew my Mum had elways said she would not want to have her life "prolongued" if it meant she had no quality of life. She was in pain and suffering and had no dignity, with nursing staff having to do every little intimate thing for her - I knew she wouldn't want to live like that. SO I made the decision to stop treatment and I don't regret it - her life slipped away gently and I know it is what she would have wanted. I wish your family the courage to make the right decision for your grandmother and for yourselves.