do i stay with my mom or go with my boyfriend and his parents
By malemi
@malemi (21)
United States
January 3, 2007 3:47pm CST
okay so heres the deal. i have a baby with my boyfriend i now live with my mom, my boyfriend wants me to move back in with him and his parents my baby is two months i moved back home before i had her his parents speak nothing but spanish and i understand a little bit. my boyfriend said "we will eventually get a place together withing this year (i hope) but for now our little family needs to stay together" should i step out of my comfort zone..?? my mom said that it would be just like taking a step back but i can't really take her advise because she doesn't like my boyfriend and ofcorse shes the grandma and wants to see her grand daughter grow up, his house isn't not far only a couple of miles away. i really don't want to move in. but it is important to me that we stay together. just the whole thing of living with the parents sucks. hopefully if i do decide to go with him its not that long. he wants to pay off his credit cards off ..( he owes about 7 grand) he has a job $500 every two weeks. aaaah!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@tbomb2002 (269)
• United States
3 Jan 07
It sounds like a difficult situation, knowing you'd like to stay together as a family. However, if you're not living together now, then I don't see the rush until he can get his debt paid off and the 3 of you can have your own place. Plus, you are not married, so what happens if you move into his parents house and then break up? I would just stay where you are, it's more stable environment for the baby instead of keep moving around and then when he is ready to get a place outside of his parents home, you could all move in together then.
@lilttownmommie (1473)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I think that you should stay within your comfort zone, after all you need as little stress as possible, when you get stressed your baby senses it and gets stressed as well, and with his parents only speaking spanish you probably have more support and help from your mom, so i say stay with her until you 2 can get a place on your own, and if he really loves you he will support you and maybe come stay with you some, you can't make all the sacrifices, he has to give in some as well.
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
6 Jan 07
That's rediculous, why would you want to struggle. He's not thinking of anyone but himself it sounds like to me. You need to think what is best for your baby and listen to your heart and mother. You are still young and probably could use the support at home. Good luck with whatever you decide. I say stay where you are until you can both afford to get a place.
@drmt57 (295)
• United States
13 Jan 07
sweet heart i think your mother has your best interest at heart.what ever happen to marriage,if you are good enough to live with him you should be good enough to be his wife, I feel that when he gets a place then maybe the two of you can move to gather. Why move from your parents to go to his parents, what is the difference. Living together is a big responsibility you will find this out very soon. Listen to your mother she only has your best interest at heart. He has not made the family commitment yet, think about it.
@cyb3rjunk13 (470)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I think you should be living with your boyfriend bu near a place to your mothers home..So that you can visit her on weekends..
@knights_of_honour (348)
• India
6 Jan 07
I simply dont understand what was your approach to your first baby? Now you dont really have any right to force some one go through disturbed childhood. As its the women who gives birth they need to be a bit more restraints and judge things more logically. Anyway I advice you to move in with your boyfriend and try your best in adapting in your inlaws infact i would even suggest you to compromise on minor issues But leave an option with your mom open. With money if his needs are genuine then i suggest you co-operate with him to improve the situation. But if he is among those types who dont just change then it would be best to leave al together
@jellylilyjujuluver (251)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I am with the idea of staying put. If you move in it is very easy for him to pull out of getting place in a year as he is promising. Also, life is enough of a struggle without adding to it.
If he truly loves you he should be able to understand why you were staying with your mom - if you should choose to do so.
It sounds to me that he is active in your and the baby's life so it's not as if the baby will be raised without a father.
Less stress = happier families
