Pressure to produce

Yeah.I too came upon such incidents in the families around me.But to speak frankly,its not that much there in the traditional house holds but its much there in the middle class families who are running towards modernism.In the todays mechanical life style, this type of attitude is ruining families tooo.Having child or in which way the family should be run,that should be left to the couple.Then only they could think freely without much pressure and can plan accordingly.Otherwise if there is any pressure it may cost their marriage.

I know what you mean..I've seen so many of my friends and cousins who gave had a child right after completing one year of marriage. It definitely was family pressure and they are helpless.But sometimes a few families pressurise only beacusse of the biological constraints. They say it is not advisable to have a kid when a woman is over 30 and a man is over 35. I know a lot of them out ther do have kids at an older age, but this is a good time, later could result in complications. Fortunately both my parents and inlaws don't mind when we decide to have kids and they respect our decisions. I'm only 25 and I feel I need to "grow up" myself..seriously, I still need to be able to handle my life and work a little before I can commit to a family. But that doesn't mean I'm going to prolong it forever.I also want to spend more time with my hubby because once there is a kid its a different phase of life altogether. I pity my friends when they tell me, "I wanted to do so much in life and now with a kid it is very difficult" I'm thankful I'm not a victim to such family pressure.

I defintly see it. I have been with my husband 11 years this month but married for only 2. I am 26 and he is 24. Ever since we got married people have been asking when will we be seeing some grand children, nieces or nephews, ect. I have been feeling ready for a long time now but my husband until very recently just did not feel ready. It would upset me so much when people would ask so when are you going to have a baby because I wanted and still want to so much it is just not the right time yet. I think people do not realize how sesitive this issue is in a realtionship. I am already having a hard time dealing with my biological clock I do not need others making it any harder on me. As far as in a marriage. I think we are doing fine but I could see if we did not have a very strong bound that I may resent him if he never wants to have a child. Some people want a family badly and it is an important thing to many people.

yes,i agree with you. even we had similar pressures.now we have decided two is enough

This is an individual decision and nobody elses' business. When we had our first everyone looked at their calander. Yeah! It was exactly 9 months since we married. We probably rushed it as we had not even adjusted to living with each other. To make it worse my wife did not speak much English. BUT!! Everything worked out and we have been happily married for 30 years now. Newly married couples should be sure that they are comfortable with each other first. Then be sure that they are ready for children, not only emotionally, but financially as well. There is nothing worse that bringing a baby into the world that you are either unwilling or unable to care for properly. This goes especially for families who are alraedy having problems and do not take steps for birth control. HELLO!! You can't support yourself and you are having MORE kids!!

I can not say about the western families but in India we have this pressure, and many couples reproduces in the first year of marriage, I think every couple should have spent some time together b4 going for it. I remeber one of my neighbour taking the same thing with me

Well, i'm kind of living this situation. Not that our marriage is suffering from it, for we both want to have kids as soon as possible, but our family and friends ask us all the time and it's kind of annoying. My best friend and her husband had problems though, cuz she wanted a child so bad, but he wasn't completely ready, and when she did become pregnant, he wasn't really all that attentionate towards her, like he almost didn't care...She then ended up losing that baby in her 5th month, and then again, they'd fight all the time, cuz she was depressed and he'd tell her to get over it!

There is lots of pressure for couples to reproduce especially if they haven't as time goes on. My sister and my bil have choosen not to have kids as they are active military. They have gotten quite a bit of criticism on that alone. My husband and I were together for five years before we had our son and are now having another little boy in April. We'll more than likely be done after two. My inlaws are famous at putting pressure on. My mil was telling my brother that they should have another baby and they already had a five month old. I think it's definitely worse for the couples that are unable to have children for one reason or another.

the pleasure of marriage is to have child

family planning is better than family planting unless you got a big financial capacity to support your big family...

as a newly wed i hear about this all the time. everyone seems to be waitng for us to announce the "big news". i believe that pressuring someone or just the constant questioning is wrong. it gives lot of stress to the couple.

Family is a connection but not a tie. It's better that a baby's birth is a result of love than of a responsibility. But marriage is not a joke. Couples should learn about family life before getting married instead of starting a family after a few years of marriage.

It's stupid, give the couple freedom to decide what they want, and don't stress them because t's posible that they are just not intrested for now in populating the planet. Do you agree with me?

diffrent people diffrent ideas depends on ambition ,goals in life for some one it is pain for others it is happiness

I say tell those people "Welcome to the 21st century!". Besides the population is still going up, which is surprising since less families are having a dozen kids like they used to. Thank god my mother wasn't one of these "I want grandkids NOW!" types that you always see.

Yep! I have heard of things like that, but thankfully, none of these couples are people I know personally. Though I have friends who are pretty stressed out with relatives hounding them about babies, but the girl just couldn't conceive! But they have great hubbies who stand by them. :) It seems a norm here for ladies who are in their 20s, the relatives will keep bugging you on when you are going to get married & they will continue to hound you until you are married. Next, they will ask when you are having a baby, and it wouldn't stop till you have one. And they will start asking about 2nd, 3rd...

you say "aftera few years" well it has nothing to do with a traditional household.. nowadays every eduated couples plans their married life in a good way. They plan how many children, in what time frame and thus proceed from there. And I think it is good.. If you plan your life, it will good for everyone's health. It was a long ago when all the blame was on women but now it is known that men are responsible for a child to be a girl or a boy and men can be infertile too.

Yes i too have thought about it and still things didnt change even if we think we have gone a long way.Yes new couples are in a difficult situation as the relatives and friends keep asking questions and it is hard for them if they dont give what is expected.I think this pressure can be overcome if they have to take their own decisions it all depend on what they want to do with their life.couples can get expert help from doctors about their ability to conceive a child which do help to overcome pressure and give a clear cut view to others about what they wish.

In fact, many couples are known to have been unable to cope with the stress, which in turn has cost them their marriages... Have you heard any such incident.. What are your views regarding this?

from my own point of view I would say that it is neccessary to start a family after a few year of marriage,because that is one the reason they institute the marriage stuff by our Lord jesus christ