help me

well the thing to do is just keep being her friend.this man is very controling and the reson he can't get a job then he won't be the one in control see when he is where he is he is the one that is in control if he dose anything differnt he won't be incontrol and some men do this to woman they make them think they can't make it with out him or be anyone with him and he is controling her and you being there he dosen't like becuase you can bring her out of this.and it sounds she might want to do something else and i hope you do becuase this kind of man will end up hurting her so if he is away do something and get her away from him...becuase she could end u diead and so can everyone around her controling men are nothing to mess around with they are crazy but they have away of picking there victiams and making them see that they are the only ones for them i know this to be true becuase i had one and they make you see things so differnt and i almost lost everything they make you feel so wonderful and they pull you into there world and you begin to see nothing else but them these kind of men are sick and it took 4 years to get out of mine and i'm still fighting it becuase he calls me from time to time and thank god he lives somewhere else becuase when he calls he don't say aword he just listens and he won't hang up until i have someone say something to him then he'll hang up.he always threten to hit me but he never did it was just the way he said it like i'll kill you first and i just did what he wanted so i wouldn't get hit then one day i just said enough is enough and i took the bus and left and i haven't seen him going on 2 years but he still is out there and he calls i've had to change my number a bunch of times and this time i don't knw how he got but he did...so i'd get your friend out as fast as you can tell her parent sot help to,,god bless and i'll pray for this to get better for her.

Unfortunately, these type of situations are common with us women. My friend was in an abusive relationship like this and while your friend isn't being physically abused, she IS being mentally abused and/or controlled by this guy. As much as you want to help and you really are being a good friend, she isn't going to leave him until she has had enough. That person needs to want out of the relationship, everyone talking "at" her is only going to make her cling more to him. She might have low self esteem and he may make it even worse by damaging it to the point where she feels she can't anyone BUT him. If she starts showing signs of unhappiness, you can try talking to her about seeing a counselor or taking a break from him for a few days. It might work, it might now. Regardless just try your best to be there for her, maybe one day she'll see the light.

You are not going to be successful in changing her mind if she feels that you are all siding against her and that you are trying to force her to your way of thinking. People like to feel respected and that you are not trying to control them. She may begin to think that you are if she feels that she is being forced to make changes that she doesn't feel ready to make. Be supportive as a friend, but don't pretend to support her choices that she makes that you disagree with. Let her know that you don't agree, but that she is your friend and it is her life. You may be surprised at how much more she might be open to your opinion.

this sounds alot like my ex boyfriend.He did this same stuff to me.my advise is this bf of your friends is no good.he is trying to control her and munipliate her and he is using her.he is not going to get any better things will only get worse for your friend.this is abuse maybe not physically but abuse in other ways.you need to talk to your friend before this guy ruins her life.ive been through it i know he mi8ght end up becoming dangerous like my ex did.she needs to get out before it is to late.if she is afraid to then her best bet is to get a protective order against him so he can't come near her.have a talk with her explain to her how seroius this can be.he is going to end up shutting her off from everything if he already has not done so.guys like this do not change they just get worse.and she obviously cant trust him which that is a big part in a relationship he is just going to keep lying.good luck hopefully your friends gets out of the situation before something bad happens.

Don jus get tensed wth my response.. This's true n i hope this'll definitely wrk.. Either u or someother frnd ((of u who shudd not be a known person to ur frnd who's lovi an idiot)) shudd approach him n start actin as if u r flirtin wth him.. after gettin a nice evidence jus don straight away fight wth ur frnd.. Start by talkin abt him.. Then tel abt him that he's not good.. And make her not only jus to trust u but also to hate him..

YOUR FRIEND SHOULD LEAVE THIS GUY

what's your question???? you already know that he's a no good, triflin, scrub... and so does your girl for that matter. the thing is, she keeps hanging on to this loser and there is nothing that you can do about it but let her come to the conclusion that she needs to leave his dusty a$$ alone on her own. i'm sure it hurts to see your friend playing the fool for this sucker, but, she'll get tired of playing the fool and leave him alone eventually. just keep your fingers crossed that she's not hurt TOO badly, or anything before she realizes that she needs to leave him alone.

I am sorry to say that nothing much you can do about it as this stage. I dont think your's friend going to let you make her understand what all this is in her relationship with that no good boyfriend of hers. Frankly she is controlled by him and in some way she going through slavish syndrome and she will go through all kind of abuses with him and one day she might snap up and try to crawl back to retain herself, her self esteem, so if you are her real friend then wait for that moment and help her to make her stand up and face the beauty of the life and world.

Well I hope she comes to her senses soon as I do not understand why she is still with him I know I most certainly would not be For all of you I hope your Friendship will see this through and that you will be there for her when she realises

All you can do is be there for her. She has to see that side of him for herself. Just be patient she will eventually come around.

this is a really bad situation! and im sorry to hear you and your friends are going thru this hard time. but i dont think there is much you can do until SHE HERSELF realizes what is going on and how she is being used and abused, and controlled and worst of all how she is losing her REAL friends. geez i really truly wish you luck with all this and hope it gets resolved soon

unfortunately not much you can do except wait for when she decides she wants out ,just let her know every now and then tat tho you cant stand him you support her in her choices and will be there when she needs you , then let time takes its course

Sadly there is nothing you can do for your friend, only be there for her when she figures it out. Sounds like your friend has some insecurity issues that her now b/f is playing on, hopefully soon she will realize what a loser he is and move on, otherwise the best you can do is be strong for your friend when he dumps her.

Well I think you should let her go. I think you already done what you can to see the truth about the guy. Unfortunately She is deeply in love. And sometimes love can make a person out of his/her mind. So let her learn on her own. Just be there for her when she needs you the most.

I think if you want to be a true friend you are best to be there for her, without judging. If you judge in an obvious way you are just going to make her more defensive and this in turn will make her likely to back of from her friends, this will drive her further in to the arms of the horrible guy. In my experience (both direct and indirect) mean nasty men like this get women into relationships that don't last indefinitely, they rarely last long. Make sure she has some friends to come back to. She will learn and look back and cringe at the mistakes she made with this guy.

people like that wont see the mistakes in the person they think they love... i was in a similar situation but it just became hard on me and i was getting hurt, so its sad to say, but i jsut stopped talking to her. when she, if she, realizes that she is hurting herself, i'll be here for her, but im not going to sit around and take care of her through the relationship.

uhm.. that's really a complicated situation ...

Ity is very bad thing .I think you need to get rid of him and they need to split up . I do soo and don't let him do such pitty things . ;( and on the net to .

The best thing that you can do for your friend is basically stay out of her relationship, try to be there if she needs someone to talk to trust me I learned from experience that the more you try to offer advice the more it going to come back as if you are jealous of her relationship in reality we all know that you are only looking out for her best interest, But sometimes we have to let those we love learn the hard way all I can say is your friend has eyes and sooner or later they will open up to all the lies that this guy is feeding her.

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's difficulties with her boyfriend. It does sound like he has a problem with lying. I don't trust what he told you about him telling the lies as some sort of a 'trust game', either. I'm glad that your friend told him that she wasn't ready to marry right now. At least she isn't rushing into anything. I wish her well and I hope that she finds someone else who will treat her better, if this guy isn't going to shape up and change his ways! ^_^