Can we heal after a traumatic birth?
By fluffleshark
@fluffleshark (810)
Ireland
January 5, 2007 2:01am CST
When I gave birth to my beloved daughter a year ago, I had what was for me an absolutely horrific birth, physically and emotionally. I have such a lot of emotions still concerning it - anger, sadness, resentment, disbelief, horror, but mostly intense guilt. I can't get certain horrific images out of my mind. Has this happened to anyone else? Do you think its possible to ever heal and get rid of these agonising feelings?
2 people like this
4 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
6 Jan 07
It's never happened to me no, but I have a friend whom had a horrible birthing experience.. It took her a little while and she fully recovered. (i should hope so, seeing how she just had another little blessing 6 months ago) just give it some time.
2 people like this
@fluffleshark (810)
• Ireland
6 Jan 07
Thanks for replying! Do you know if your friend just recovered over time, or did she get counselling or anything?
@prettypinkbug (437)
• United States
8 Jan 07
I hope you reported that horrible lady.
I had a bad experience with my first that ended in a c-section so with my second I had a scheduled c-section. I am, 5 years later, still very angry with the first doctor I had. Needless to say, I didn't go to him the second time. In time I know we will let it go. It really doesn't matter now. You have your beautiful baby and you have bonded. That's all that matters.
@fluffleshark (810)
• Ireland
10 Jan 07
I suppose you are right. I suppose it does take a very long time to get over it, with childbirth being such a major life event, and to highly emotional anyway!
I'm sorry you also had a bad experience though!
Re the midwife, I actually didnt report her. I ve always had such a jumble of emotions about the whole experience I never felt secure enough in myself to actually report her. I sometimes still think about writing a letter to the hospital though.
@diansinta (7544)
• Indonesia
16 Apr 07
sure we can heal after giving a birth . first thing is you must concern about your feeling. believe in your self you can heal from this. its simple but very important. after that, you will feel well before you know it.its all for your baby.
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
15 Apr 07
There is a term used in the birth community, it's a bit harsh but for many women it does sum up exactly how they feel after a birth trauma. The term is "birth rape". You were robbed of an amazing & wonderful experience by this practitioner's lack of respect for you, your birth, your baby & your wishes.
I think some of your pain will resolve in time. You weren't to blame for what happened and you need to let yourself heal just like you would after any other traumatic event. However, if your sadness, anger, guilt, etc is robbing you of a full life now; seek a support group or a therapist to help you through it.
