I found out that my brother-in-law has a double life
By luka_24
@luka_24 (102)
Chile
January 5, 2007 11:49am CST
My sister got married for the second time last month. She had been living with her couple for some years, and when the divorce issue was solved, they finally got married.
The only problem is that 3 months ago I learned that my now brother-in-law harasses women around him. My sister has two children (grown-up already) and one of them lives with his girlfriend. My bother-in-law gave this boy's girlfriend a job as a secretary, and he started harassing sexually. She told me eveything about it, and even sent me recordings where he sounds too explicit. She and my nephew told the story to my sister, but she refused to believe it. They tried twice, and she doesn't believe a word. According to her, this girl invented the whole thing. Unfortunately, the previous secretaries that he had, have complained about the same.
I was about to talk about it with my sister, but my mother suggested not to, because she has always had it her way, and she's always seen only what she wants to see. Anyway, I intended to talk to her, but finally decided not to, because my father is extremely sick and I feared that he could have another attack if he knew...
Well, my sister finally got married to him, my nephew's girlfriend was dismissed, my nephew didn't attend the wedding (he's resentful) but my sister is very happy.
What would you have done in this had happened to you...?
8 people like this
40 responses
@Gruzzle (294)
•
5 Jan 07
man that tough.
Some people just don't want to hear bad things about the people they love. Even if you did try telling her and she eventually believed you I think that somehow she would resent you just as much as him, and on the other hand and if found out about him herself and then found out you knew and said nothing (even though you knew she wouldn't beleive you) then you's be in trouble as well.
It irrational but it is one of those "Shoot the messenger" situations where you can win.
1 person likes this
@aryangentleman (1122)
• India
6 Jan 07
I think I would have done the same thing as you have done and one cant do anything more than that.Yours sister is a mature adult and she has seen life so let her handle things in her life the way she wants to look at it.Will she be happy or not its her choice realy, as a brother you gave her a real counsel and tried to make her see the real person her husband(would be at the time you talked her) is so let her get cooked in her own stew. And do one thing please give her support when she get devastated, I am sure in future she got to face his real face and she wont be very comfertable with it unless she surrenders herself to his way of life.
@aryangentleman (1122)
• India
7 Jan 07
Yes you are very correct that at the age of 52 she is suppose to know every thing and have maturity to take the right path but as facts are very clear, she has choosen a path which we believe is full of pot holes , so let it be just wait and see.
@bloodrayne (112)
• India
6 Jan 07
Well. I would have done the same thing as u. When the time is right she will know it herself. But as long as your sister is happy... wats the problem???
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
6 Jan 07
While I can condone your response, I have to say I might have handled it a bit differently. My suggestion to you would be to set him up to be seen by your sister doing these rotten things. Maybe you could find someone he doesn't know to be on the receiving end of this type of harrassment. Make sure they can handle it, though. I hope this helps.
@stvenvoon (254)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 07
If this happenned to me i will did it as what u did. Just leave it. Dont mind others business even ur sister. Like ur mother said, she has she own way. It is better o not ruin ur sister and her husband relationship if ur sister really dont want to trust it
U already told him twice but she didnt want to believe it that means she like to living in a selfcheating life. So, what do you want to care?
Do as ur mother said better :)
@srirangam (30)
• India
6 Jan 07
Before marriage, ine should know his/her partner well. So, I would put all my efforts to that.
If some body is not beleiving the voice, i woul give the video with voice so the thae tru color of a person is disclosed.
@qiaofang88 (126)
• China
6 Jan 07
Leave them alone, if they didn't want to accept any advice. They should learn a lesson then they know sometimes it is not bad to take others' advice.
@maximus2006 (835)
• Hong Kong
6 Jan 07
really a bothering issue,and I think I may be going crazy when deal with this kind of issue. Because I am also a simple person and no willing to face some complex situation. I think if you could not deal with it properly, many persons in your familly would be hurt much,especially your sister who is a virtuos and simple person. sorry to be unable give you some good advices. but I do pray for you and your sister!
Good luck to you!
@nickventere (1420)
• Zambia
6 Jan 07
That was very unfortunate. Indeed lovev makes people (or some people) to be blind. It is not surprising that your sister didn't want to believe you guys. However, she should have had the trust of her nephew, you know.
Had I been in your shoes, I think I would have set up for your sister to catch her new hubby in the act. Perhaps she is the "seeing is believing" sort of human species.
@redbull_zico (120)
• India
6 Jan 07
really tough situation man.....sometimes life gives blows but u need to weather it
@UnHolyLove (96)
• India
6 Jan 07
Well, I would have taken that guy into a room. Had him sit down on the sofa. Then i would go to the door veeery slowly. Then..SMACK!!! I would lock it. Then i would take out a DVD CD and go to the DVD player and "pretend" that i was putting it in, then i would turn around and smack him. I would interrigate him into admitting the truth. If he doesn't talk, i would have made him talk. This is what i would have really done because this is no small matter you know. I believe men should respect women. I hate it when people are consumed by lust!
Note: this is not a joke, i would have really done this.
@adnanmd2 (830)
•
6 Jan 07
man that tough.
Some people just don't want to hear bad things about the people they love. Even if you did try telling her and she eventually believed you I think that somehow she would resent you just as much as him, and on the other hand and if found out about him herself and then found out you knew and said nothing (even though you knew she wouldn't beleive you) then you's be in trouble as well.
It irrational but it is one of those "Shoot the messenger" situations where you can win.
@jaizdeep (397)
• India
6 Jan 07
Well its a very tough situation man
i think maybe u were right but i wouldnt have done what you did
i believe if i were at your place maybe i wouldnt want to hurt my sister but as i love my sister i would want to keep her away from a guy who is leading a double life
maybe she would be initially unhappy but when later she will sometime come to know herself she will be very disheartened
whatever sound clips you heard you should have made your sister hear it and if she dint believe that maybe you should have tried some other way to make that person confess or should have planned something to catch him red handed
coz seeing on a long term basis he is cheating your sister and when your sister is soo possessive about her relationships that she cant hear anything bad for that person how bad will she feel when the truth will come to her
maybe she might have been heart broken for now but i would have got that person to say sorry and would have wanted my sister ideally to part her ways from a person who is of a loose character and is cheating on her too fir his physical pleasure
@luka_24 (102)
• Chile
6 Jan 07
Finding the right attitude was difficult, because she will suffer anyway. But according what she has had to live, and what reactions have been, I decided not to do anything. If you read my comments above, you'll notice that no matter what she is told or what she sees, she has this tendency to deny evidence...Thanks for your words...oh, by the way, I AM A WOMAN, NOT A MAN!!! :)
@tocika (970)
• Romania
6 Jan 07
I think that you can do first of all,what are u feeling,because your heart is the first can ,,talk,, with you.If my sister were in your sister case I would be honest with her and I try to prove her actuality.She could not be blindy of love without see what is around her bottom.Good luck and have a nice day;)
@table4three (126)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 07
hoh...such a complicated problem ha? i dont know what to say but just like to response to this topic. for me, what ever it is, it is just life. we have to accept many possibilities that we never expect to happen. then we can cope to the environment and we become a happy person in life.
@mariver101 (162)
• Indonesia
6 Jan 07
I won't do anything anymore about it. I would have try to talk to her before but if she didn't listen,what can i say? She was blinded by her love to that man. After all shes already grown up,i just have to tell her once. She can think about that by herself.
