Meeting The Parents - How Did It Go?

Congratulations!! That's awesome about the baby, by the way. But I have to say, you've brought up an excellent point that I was thinking about on the plane ride home. I felt like I truly had made a connection with his family this weekend, and I suddenly began to think, "What happens if we don't make it?" And all of the sudden I had made up these scenarios in my head where I'm having to write them letters and apologize and give explanations. Sounds completely ridiculous, because we're perfectly happy and talking marriage...but I suddenly wondered what the ettiquette would be for something like that. I've always gotten close to the families of those few that I have dated, and it wasn't just a breaking up of us, but also the families. It's kinda sad, actually. Your decision to hold off on meeting them was a good one and a well founded one that I didn't really think about. Kudos and thanks for answering!

Hey sarahbeth :) Welcome back! Glad to hear that your trip went well (except for the hot chocolate and the delay and all lol). I gave some thought to your question about the relationship with a partner's family. With my ex in-laws, things were awkward for a long time after the separation and divorce. I had previously been really close with my sister in law, often having people mistake us for sisters (we even looked alike, which I guess just increased the confusion). We shared a lot of the same interests and we socialized together pretty often. We tried keeping in touch a bit but it just got more and more uncomfortable. I know that his family, like mine, had oodles of questions about why we broke up (after dating for 6 years, married for 12) but I gave no explanation to anyone. Mainly because there WAS no single reason... it was a multitude of things... and I felt I owed no one that information. Sometimes I felt, like you mentioned, that I should write them letters or something. Then, I realized that no matter what I said, it would be wrong or misinterpreted because people have a natural tendency to "take sides"... and I knew they would "side" with my ex over me. To this day, they don't know any of the things he's done to me or to the kids... and I never plan to tell them either. I have nothing to apologize for and they can think that the divorce was "my fault" if they'd like. I just found out he is getting re-married this summer so I'm thinking that will put a few more things to rest and give them a new focus. My advice to you, if you wanted any ;) ... enjoy the relationship you have with his family. Grow with them and treat them well, like you do with your own side. Don't worry about the possibilities down the road. Just know you're a good person, entering into a genuine and loving relationship with their son. That's really all they will ever need to know :)

Hey! Thanks :) - I liked your response and your outlook - your reaction to his family speaks volumes about your personality and your integrity - it takes an amazing person to be able to let things like that go and not try to defend yourself. Not long after I had all of those conversations in my head with his family and all the letters I wrote, I laughed at myself - here I was hoping he would ask me to marry him and I'm already dreaming up ways we would have to break up!! *laugh* Speaks a lot about my own expectations about relationships, too...hoping to change THAT in the new year :). Thanks again! I always enjoy reading your responses!!

Well, it's interesting. I found out that his sister-in-law is actually my cousin...but it's way off like 11th generation. It freaked me out - we meet in Kansas only to find that her aunt and uncle live down the street from me in a small town in Dublin, VA. We all had a good laugh about it, but it was really quite freaky *grin*. But honestly, they felt like family - we all got along, there wasn't any awkwardness to speak of...and we had a wonderful time. I'm not sure if my boyfriend really cared all that much *grin* he didn't really say one way or the other - but I think he was pleased that I got along with his mom and step-dad so well. Thanks for asking!! :D

His sister-in-law is your cousin wow... then your family really will be closed for each other huh. Did you say 11th generation ... that's good. Well good luck to both of you.

My sad story............. I proposed my girl friend.............First she hesitated but later she accepted. We both had a great time I told my parents about our love story. A spent alot of time on my girlfriend and money. After two months we were going to get married but my girlfriend left me and has made another boyfriend. A started to investigate about her. I found that girl has done the same thing with many boys.

*ack* that would be rough to say the least...I guess I've always been a people person and I'm the first to strike up conversation regardless...but that would feel like total entrapment in the home, though, without escape!