Blondes in a barroom
By charlieb1979
@charlieb1979 (392)
United States
January 5, 2007 2:04pm CST
A blind man walked into a bar and sat down at the bar. The people around him were sitting around telling jokes and drinking their cocktails. One of the women looks at the man and says "well Jim its your turn" so he begins "this blonde college student went intto her final exam...." just then the bartender stops him "before you tell your joke I think that I should warn you, the woman to your left is a blonde supermodel, the woman to your right is a blonde police officer, and I'm a blonde bartender/bouncer. Do you still want to tell your joke. the Blind man says "well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times!"
1 person likes this
18 responses
@Starlady0_1 (586)
• United States
6 Jan 07
This blonde was at a coke machine and putting her change in and mashing a button and out comes a drink, So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and out comes a drink.
She keeps putting change in and pushing buttons and getting drinks. Here comes a man and asks the blonde if she gonna be through at this machine anytime soon and she responds
" I'm not gonna quit until I stop winning "
2 people like this
@charlieb1979 (392)
• United States
6 Jan 07
The blonde went to the ATM and inserted her card. The automated voice of a man said "Welcome to Main Street Bank. How Can I help you" so the woman withdrew her money" the automated voice said "Thank You. Have a Nice Day" the woman repeated this process seveal times and there were people standing in line waiting to use the ATM. Finally, one of the people spoke up "Lady, can you please hurry? we all need to get back to work" The blonde said "CHILL OUT. I like the way this guy sounds, and if I keep going, maybe he'll ask me out on a date"
1 person likes this
@charlieb1979 (392)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Blonde Betty was so stupid. Her best friend fixed her up on a blind date. he was a quarterback for the local college football team...at the end of the date Betty said "Louise said I was going to get a quarter back if I went out with you" the guy looked puzzled and Betty said " I remember it distinctly she said that I would like the guy she fixed me up with because he's a quarterback" The guy laughs and says "no...I play the position of quarterback on the team"
1 person likes this
@satyamss (870)
• India
5 Jan 07
Student Lipstick Problem
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The principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints.
Before it got out of hand, he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors. The principle then asked the custodian, who was present, to demontrate.
The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror.
From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.
@Starlady0_1 (586)
• United States
6 Jan 07
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears, She sobs, "Robert doesn't appeciate what I do for him." "Now, now" Her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," you don't understand.
"I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"
1 person likes this
@charlieb1979 (392)
• United States
6 Jan 07
ROFL that was a good one......was the new bride Jessica Simpson ? :)
1 person likes this
@aaronwyler (17)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Ha Ha, Awesome jokes. But don't blonde people find these offensive. Any blondes on myLot wish to comment.
@charlieb1979 (392)
• United States
6 Jan 07
LOL I know some blondes who couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag let alone find anything offensive :P
@Magus274 (664)
• New Zealand
6 Jan 07
A blonde walks into a curtain shop.
"Can I help you asked the store keeper?"
"Yes", replies the blonde, "I need a curtain for my computer"
"Your computer?" replies the store keeper, looking baffled.
"Derr!" says the blonde, "Hello!, Ive got Windows, you know"
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
21 Jan 07
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
@goldilocks70 (89)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. I hope it's mine.
@saikat123 (235)
• India
6 Jan 07
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
