What do you think about this?
By sweets9900
@sweets9900 (726)
United States
January 6, 2007 12:49pm CST
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He lives in Miami. I moved to Tampa for a year, and now I just moved to Daytona Beach last month. He lives with his grandmother. She is getting older and needs some help. Mine you she is able bodied and works two jobs. I am getting tired of being away from him and I want him to move with me. He says he can't leave his grandmother because she was there for him when his mother was not. I am seriously thinking about moving on with my life, because this relationship does not seem to be going anywhere. What do you think? Has anyone gone through this before? If so, what did you do and how did it turn out?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
13 Jan 07
That is a tough situation. There is a lot of distance to deal with there. Yeah you are in the same state but Miami is quite a ways from Daytona Beach. Seems to me that he is unwilling to leave his grandmother even at the risk of your relationship. You said that the grandmother works two jobs if that is the case she would be fine without him there, perhaps lonely but she seems capable of meeting her basic needs on her own. Does your boyfriend work? If he does and he provides to the household and thier expenses are so high that she can't meet them even with two jobs then maybe she does need him there. But if he is not working or is working but not contributing to the household then I would have to say that he just doesn't want to take the next step in your relationship and he may never want to. you both need to sit down and get everything out in the open and then base your decision on that. Good Luck to you.
@sweets9900 (726)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I agree. He was working, but is now unemployed. His grandmother is able to pay the bills alone because she is doing it now. Also she was talking about renting out two rooms in her home and the house only has 3, so where is he going to sleep? I have talked to him about how I feel and all he can say is one day we will be together but I can't know due to my grandmother. I feel that I am dating a child. I am in a situation that I don't have to help my mother, my grandmother is deceased. If I had to take care of my mother I would arrange it where we could be together also. I would simply say well mom I have a bf and I love him dearly. He will be living with us because I want to be with him and take care of you also.
Thanks for you advise. I will try talking to him again.
@s_ritesh20 (222)
• India
7 Jan 07
i think so u have to help him out. Think that after 40 year u r also older at that time u need some one who take care of u. so he is right from this point of u just think about it.second if u r really love him so much than why u r not transfer miami from where ever u r
@sweets9900 (726)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I was living in Tampa for a year. I moved back to Miami to try to save our relationship. Well I was having problems with getting a job and housing that was not sky high. I suggested that we move together to make it better on both of us, but he said he could not even do that. Since he was unable to help me, I decided to help myself and moved to Daytona Beach. The funny thing is when I moved to Miami (quitting my jobs), he told me he really wanted me to stay in Tampa.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
18 Jan 07
I think he likes an idea to feel safe with his Grandmother. He is not working, so his life is pretty easy, his grandmother does it all. He is not the man who can make your life easier. If woman supports his life, he may want you to do it too. If you are not demanding, he can keep you in the same spot for next 10 years.
@kuttuva (16)
• India
10 Mar 07
i can understand ur feeling.i have been wathing many cases like this.first of all u think before u going 2 proceed.because i have been struggling like this .now i corrected completely after getting advices from elders.i was actually loosing my carrear. now i have been balancing well.nice u can start new life with him .but u should think about u and others .
