love and marriage
By albert2412
@albert2412 (1782)
United States
January 6, 2007 5:03pm CST
We see so many divorces now. People just get tired of the other person or see someone else that they like more. A person that you are just dating has their hair combed very neatly and are dressed in nice cloths. After marriage, you get to see your mate early in the morning with messy hair and perhaps in a bad mood. Do you feel that it is best to marry someone that you like and have a lot of similar interests, or do you feel that marriage should be based upon love?
1 person likes this
18 responses
@berlynn1975 (737)
• United States
7 Jan 07
I am definitely for marriage. I married a guy I met in college. We were friends for 2 years, dated, and married. We are in love and have 2 children. Marriage is hard, but we work at it. It's a commitment and that promise keeps us working at it. Love is a choice and we continue to choose to love each other. Beauty may fade, but a true friendship lasts forever. We love eachother, but are so grateful to our friendship that is a base (along w/love - of course) to our marriage.
But, in order for you to be "against" marriage, did you have many negative role models to have you jaded to it?
@kornordie (119)
• Romania
6 Jan 07
I think you know the answer to that...yo just tryin to get more replyz from people:P
just kiddin man...peace out...
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Sometimes people really do feel love and phyical attraction with whom they do not share a lot of similar interests. After being married a while, they may start arguing about money, etc.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
I think marriage needs to be based on love. I want to marry someone I love, and who I will love no matter what. "Am I going to like this person first thing in the morning?" My Sweetheart and I have been through enough, even though it's long distance, to know the other person's moods etc. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly.
@ideas4worldwelfare (223)
• India
7 Jan 07
Well a marriage involves bonding of minds and love is the basis for this bonding,if this is there ,u are least concerned about the physical nature and habits of ur lifepartner.Well if a marriage decision is based completely on the physical basis,it is sure that one will find a better person in future and would be tempted to find a relationship with that person.I am still single but wont mingle untill find the one made for me.....
@crypticweb (1)
• United States
7 Jan 07
I am not sure how I feel about marriage. The guy that I was married to at first seemed to be compatible. As time went on, I found him to be dirty, nasty, and really shallow! I know this seems a bit cruel, but that is the truth. I am in a "relationship" now, but am finding every excuse in the book not to get married. I don't know if I am capable of being tied down to anyone!
@tarzanunni (31)
• India
7 Jan 07
i support love marriage...but how we can select a person by knowing future....................As per my opinion there same amount of divorces are happening in arranged marriage also.But comparing the total number of arranged marriage its percentage is less.But love marriage are less and in the same way divorce percentage also increasing,,,,,so love yar lovr
@berlynn1975 (737)
• United States
7 Jan 07
You can never know the future. No human does. But, you can make a choice to love and a choice to make it through your differences, dry spells, arguments - whatever. Love is always a choice. And, usually (except arranged marriages I would guess), there's always some kind of love. So, that needs to be focused at and worked at. Each spouse needs to give 100%. But, it's always a choice to stick with a promise like marriage.
@zhizhong07 (674)
• Singapore
7 Jan 07
I believe this is why couple nowadays like to live together first before marriage to see whether they can get used to each other living style and habits. I strongly believe this is a very good way to reduce divorce rate.
@Chiriac (286)
• Romania
7 Jan 07
In love marriage you go with your heart wherever it leads to.
in arranged arriage u go with the mind, information u have about the person, assuring that u will be taken care of for life. When u go with ur heart then u might have to face a lot discomfort and struggle but it is meaningful and adds depth to ur life experience and atlast u succed. In case of mind oriendted reltnshps, it is boringly safe and predictable, there is no joy ,no sorrow either just living to present a nice picture to the society and parents are happy bcas u dont have anyone else to turn to for love and comfort they are emotionally safe. Thats what they look for in a match otherwise why would they not accept love marr? Parents are pocessive, it might not show but their love is selfish BEWARE. Think for yourself but dont hurt ur parents bcas that will come back to you with interest, they have a powerful hold on ur minds so be gentle but firm be selfish which will keep u happy enough to make others happy.
@ayeshachaudhry (18)
• Pakistan
7 Jan 07
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I don't that love before marriage is a must. What i feel is when you get married to someone, you should have the courage to accept him/her with all his/her bad and goodz. 'Coz no one th this world is complete, every person has some things good and some bad. Well if you think in this way i don't think you would ever have fights in your life on such silly things, or dislike your partner.
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And secondly, if you have loved first and then married, then there shouldn't be any chance of having fights or misunderstandings, but if you do have, you should find out the purpose behiind it, instead of blaming each other and then the problem should be solved rather then fighting and spoling your life.
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The main thing is that both must understand and love each other, whether this is done before marriage or after.
@onlyme123 (124)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Marriage should be based upon love, honesty, open communication, loyalty, committment, trust, and many other facets. Without these building blocks, a marriage will fail. That's why you see a lot of marriage fizzle out as soon as one person "got bored" of his/her spouse. The foundation was not there to begin with. Having similar interests might help, but that won't keep a marriage together. I know of one couple who are like night and day: she likes opera, he likes country and hates opera; he's athletic and loves sports, she has home-hobbies and hates sports; he can wear stuff from Walmart, she insists on name-brands; I can go on and on. But they have loved each other and have stayed married for 25 years. They have 2 lovely children both in college now. One thing that they both have in common is that they love to laugh; they have a wonderful sense of humor. They show affection for each other, treat each other with respect, allow each other to pursue his/her own interest without insisting that he/she participates in something that he/she doesn't like -- in other words, each person is a confident, independent person, who does not need the other for a crutch. They give to each other and to their children tirelessly. If ever there was a forumula for a successful marriage, they have found it. So here's a couple with hardly any common interests, but they love each other very much, 25 years and going strong!
@SuziBerardini (314)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
of course marriage should be based upon love. otherwise it is more of a roommate with benifits situation. I can tell you from experience that love happens in the strangest places. i met my husband on the internet and we have been happily married 6 years now.
@pricetag4u (11)
• India
7 Jan 07
Its Not Necessary That everybody will be treated the Same.. you have to understand Whats Her problem or her Situation... because she cant do every thing what ever you like... so you have to go with her in arms... so as far to my instinct marraige should be based on their personal preferences not to be based on love
@plantit1 (297)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Relationships usually start with physical attraction. There is a reason for that. To create a family. Then to raise the family together. Through this goes the power struggles but if you can get through it the real love begins. to love someone just because they are them that is the payoff. Been married 25 years!!!
@s_doshi1984 (90)
• India
7 Jan 07
i dont think i can be sure what love is. people think that if they are attracted towards somebody, it is love. but who knows it is just attraction or infatuation. make it sure first i wud say