Condemn me to hell! Church goers and do gooders wont like this on

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I like going to church and I believe in God. I believe all things happen for a reason-I just try to remember that every time I wonder why God chose to take my husband from me so early. I was only 34 at the time and wasnt ready to be a widow-besides that title goes to older folks-at least alot older than me. I have only been to church maybe three or four times in the past three years since my husband died. Just cant go, but I have a ruptured disk and pinched nerve in my back and sitting on those church benches really aggravates it. It is hard to sit still so long, but just because I dont go , doesnt mean I dont believe in God. But some people say that if you dont go church and worship in church you are going to go to hell. Now, by no means do I live a sin free life, nor does anyone else on the face of this planet. But, I would like to know exactly why people say this kind of thing- I think my fate will be between me and God.