Selfishness

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It's understandable that sometimes you care only about what you think is right. But how can back your feelings without making the other person feel bad? I mean i've made some harsh comments to people based only on how i felt and i had strong reasons. Sadly they tought i was a selfish a**hole and simply stop talking to me because of something that wasn't even a big deal. How could defend the way you feel and still care about the rest of your friends?