MARRIAGE - Should you let yourself go after marriage?

i would like u to rea this artical this might help u out a bit... Marriages are made in Heaven "Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: finding the right person and being the right person" quote. Do we really know the actual definition of a successful marriage? If not than lets look for it and see what conclusion we can draw. We often say that someone somewhere is made for you and the day you come across that person you feel that that he or she is the one you have been waiting for. But later we see that due to lack of understanding and mental compatibility they move apart. So how can we say that they were the perfect match since they didn't gave any effort to understand each other. So it's important you know your partner. There are people who get physically attracted and fall for each other and eventually end up getting married. But later on when they see their wavelength not matching they easily get separated without a second thought. In today's generation we see these incidents more compare to earlier generation. And this is more due to the changing social scenario. With so many things to divert your attention you really don't know what to do. Marriage is not just coming together of two individuals. There is much more to it. To sustain a marriage it is important that there is effort from both sides than only a marriage can carry on. A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients are love, commitment, understanding, concern and togetherness. If you can include these aspects in your married life you can find happiness in your marriage. Andre Maurois once aptly said, "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." Which is so true. When we talk about mental compatibility between husband and wife we have seen that not only incase of arrange marriage this problem exist where both of them were unknown to each other before marriage but even after many years of courtship in love marriages this problem exist because when we meet before marriage we are at our best to impress the other person. And we start accepting each other the way we like to see each other. But gradually after marriage when we slip into our natural self that time we have to accept each other as we are. And in most of the cases the real self is not what we wanted to see and then begins the contradiction with the person whom we have loved and with whom I have to spend my life. So it's important that when you love a person love him or her the way he or she is and not the way you want him or her to be. Than only you can be happy. A happy married life calls for constant commitment and concern for each other. There are few small and minute aspects, which we tend to forget in our married life, as we get busy with the daily chores. So at times it is important to indulge in those minute details of a married life, which will constantly remind each other of the love and concern being present. We can conclude by the quote of Barnett Brickner, which says it, all that "Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."

You are right. For me, taking care of family and doing farm work and mowing lawns as a job don't make me feel like dolling myself up after a hard days work. Our feelings haven't changed about each other. We actually love each other more. Now that we both see each of our real selves. It is good to look after ones self and stay healthy, but we are not all hung up on our weight.Well, not yet anyway.

I think people let them self go after a certain age married or not. People usually don't get overweight until after children I think. Especially the women. The men get to eat a lot of good cooking and just sit around watching tv. I don't think it's right but what's gonna change it?

yes you should keep yourself up after marriage and people do become relaxed and it is probably do to alot of reasons they may have felt comfortable with there spouse and the kids got the coming and sometimes things get a little stressful and then comes the emotional eating etc, can you tell i once was there.lol

I don't being married should have anything to do with how you take of yourself. You should stay in shape to stay healthy and the first person you do that for is yourself.

I do not think you should let yourself go i do know that once you get into the comfort zone you tend to take things for granted and your spouse alone with it. I did let myself go and so did my wife now together we are getting it back together as a team this is what the love in the life of the people can do to make things work out.

well what is the harm in maintain ing afte marriage we still need the charm dot we and we shoudl not think that we dont need to do that after marriage or that we are odl then we will start to really dfeel that way and that is not a good thing

may be u r right.....people seems to be careless after marriage cos they r now safer....

I think one should always strive to look good, beautiful and remain healthy. But yes you are right that after marriage this is the common phenomenon and I think the reason is also what you have mentioned, after marriage we get lost so much in societal and marriage chores that we tend to neglect ourself and this is the reaon for it.

I think maintenance should be increased after you get married as you have a partner to admire you for this. Even I have seen many people do not care of their weight once they get married. But this should not be the attitude and one should take care of his/her body, skin more after marriage.

I do not think you should let yourself go i do know that once you get into the comfort zone you tend to take things for granted and your spouse alone with it.

yes many people do the same thing

I too have seen many married couples that let themselves go. My husband and I have been married 20 years and I have one child. Our weight goes up and down. We may not always look our best all the time but we do try. Sometimes you will find us in lounge wear on a lazy weekend. However, when we go out we always look nice. I never want my husband to be looked at like oh my god look at that wife of his, so I always fix myself up. I never want him to be ashamed to take me any where. My husband also feels that way about me. He never complains when my weight goes up. I love to cook so in my house everyone gains weight in the winter and looses in the summer. Just because you are married doesn't mean you check out of life. I am not saying go nuts and get plastic surgerty and a boob job. I am saying take the time to fix up a little when you are leaving the house. The other point is when your spouse supports you know matter what you do that helps too.

yes,I think after marriage also guys and gals both are care themselves.

to me it up to taht person though, if that person wants to let her or himself go its up to them but at the same time though it would be nice to dress up for your partner and look good to keep the romance up.

i think here you have basically missed the whole trick. we humans love ourselves so much that we like to ensure that we are kept alive for generations, through our progeny (call it God's ways of ensuring His creation continues!)while you talk of becoming the cynosure of all eyes for a few years only, most people like to rear kids so that they can realise their unfulfilled dreams thru their children, revisit their childhood, become silly once again just for the sake of it, be proud to exclaim "My son is this, my daughter is that!!" etc. etc. in all these cases, its always "My Children" never somebody else's. gaining a few pounds, losing your attractiveness, giving up on leisure & pleaseure, all these are but a small price to pay for satisfying this "MY". Do you get my point?

well u think u wud be better off when u grow up alone? i think its all the same if u r alone or married... just tht if u gave me the choice, i would prefer parriage coz i dont wanna die alone... want someone who would make my life worthwhile and would give me children and would make me happy... it doesnt matter to me if i get out of shape or gain weight.. coz they aint important

Ok you're right but this is because everyone thinks that now I can look as I want what will happen next we are married nothing to worry about.

I think they should maintain themselves after marriege!!There are lots of people for who marriege is a finish, and after that they "change"! They get out of shape, they get fat, they don't care....this is why in many couples love disapears, they looking for other girls, younger, fitest, and they don't care about there wife. And a wifes seeking for other men, more handsome!After that they say that "It's your fault that this marriege is not working".

I Beleive that you should still take of your apperance and grooming just cause your married is wrong to let yourself go...... The words people should look at in this instance is SELF PRIDE look good and feel good for yourself.