Lessons Learned As A Child

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* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. * When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. * If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. * Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. * You can't trust dogs to watch your food. * Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. * Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. * Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. * Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. * School lunches stick to the wall. * You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. * Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. * The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap