ExtraMarital affairs.....What do you have to say about it.
By jackslaiter
@jackslaiter (371)
India
January 9, 2007 5:22am CST
Affairs after being married...do you think is it right and what is the reason people induldge themselves in such activities. My personal views on it are very clear. I have to say that it generally happens when one is not satisfied with his or her life partner. He is in search of a person who can better understand him and feels more comfortable expending time with that person. I have one more point in mind is that Men have a tendency to experiment. Wild desires sometimes remain a thought only and sometimes we are able to bring it in action.
16 people like this
98 responses
@aroraasr (428)
• India
9 Jan 07
Extra marital affair is a big no in my opinion. As you said that it only happens if one of the partner is not satisfied, I think in that case you can always sit with your partner and frankly discuss about your desires and expectations and looking for another person is not a right decision. Love your partner from the core of your heart and there is no point he/she will go out in search of love and lust.
@shelonewolf1969 (486)
• United States
10 Jan 07
then go to counceling to help you if your not happy to me it is better to end the relationship then to cheat .A person that has been cheated against loses not just trust with that person but alot of other trust .It is a bad and deep pain and a self haterd .The person that does this to another has no shame or honnor .
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
There are some situations when one is not able to discuss his problems with his life partner. I think this communication gap also leads to such affairs. Thank you for replying.
1 person likes this
@soccio97 (39)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I would agree with you. Those who have affairs were either not ready for marriage or married for reasons other than love. Men seem to have the majority of affairs or maybe they just get caught more often. I listen to the stories my sons (24 and 28)tell about their friends and I have to believe that women have an equal if not greater number of affairs. Additionally, their stories seem to indicate that their female friends play the field a lot more than their male friends.
@alexdiazgranados (678)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Yes, we guys do seem to get blamed a lot more for having or causing extramarital affairs, and while I'm not sure if women "play the field" more than men do, many of them are the ones who seek the affairs.
1 person likes this
@umair2hot (1220)
• India
9 Jan 07
Well I believe, if any thing exists in this world, then ther ehas to be some good reeason for some behind that, yes it is verymuich possible that it may not be acceptable to everybody or even majority thinks that the thing has no logic behind that...
Now talking specifically aboutthe EMA's ( Extra Marital Affairs) well I think one can easily get in to these if his/her desires are not fulfilled with there current engagements and that is quite obvious ... but where it goes wrong is people hide these relationships from world and try to row in both boats at same time in an oppsite stream of life.....from it all starts messing your life and finally you end up ion guilty about the EMA as it is accepted in society...
But if you think it other way... and gut fully announce your EMA and get in to discussion with affected people .. then I believe it can solve big issues.... THAT's ALL I WANT ADD!!!!
1 person likes this
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
So desires unfullfilled ...is the main cause and most replies have accepted it. So the solution is also the same desire. I now think that fullfilling that desire is the keyword.
@dexterous21 (1180)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
Extra marital affairs is a big deal to me. Nowadays, it is very hard to trust a person. Aside from those reasons that yo give, some man are really worth to be given trust. They tend to give reasons just what the reasons you stated. For example, they are not happy or satisfied with their partner. What a reason!!! After you made love to that person, let her do the household chores, let her bear children and take care of them, that is what man giving. It is very unfair to do that since woman should be treated like human.
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
yes its true. it's getting harder and harder to trust people now. just think of it, you even have hard time trusting your partner.
i admonish extra marital affairs. It is unfair to the offended spouse and the children. it brings nobody no good. in the first place if one thinks of marrying, he/she should be sure about it. ONe mustn't rush into marriage and then find himself/herself quitting at the end by some act of betrayal, infidelity.
Extra marital Affairs is a NO NO! It ruins the family, the basic foundation of every society.
@jithinsb (518)
• India
9 Jan 07
Whatever may be the reason ,we should never cheat our partner..because she/he is THE ONLY person in the whole world to whom we are not suppossed to cheat..we may cheat or play fool of EVERY other single person in the whole world,but she/he is the only one person with whom we are spending our whole life,sharing all the spices of our life ...so we must be loyal and sincere to that person..even if the whole world turns against him/her ,we are the one who is supposed to stand by their side,and we will get the same protection and caring from our partner also..so if we have got any complaint with him/her just tell it to her and that will defenetly make you feel good and your partner,which eventually would help your partner to correct his/her mistakes and to improve the relationship between you..
so there should never be a time when we should think about having an extramarital affair.
" when one is not satisfied with his or her life partner,he is in search of a person who can better understand him and feels more comfortable spending time with that person."- this is when as i have said earlier we should frankly tell your mate to change or just to let him/her know that you are not feeling comfortable spending time with them and it is the time for her/him to change so that the relationship that you share wont get mixedup and end..because i dont think that any person who have extramartial affair can sincerely love his/her mate as once he/she has done..
1 person likes this
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
I agree with your thoughts...your logic is right that we should at least no cheat our life partner...because as we say life partner it really means for life. He or she decides to live forever on the belief that you will give love to him or her forever and will divide it ..whatever may come in their way.
@adroit777 (236)
• South Africa
9 Jan 07
I am married for 16 years and have never done it. Might have come close to doing it at times because we went through the "for better or worse" times, but through God's grace. Now I know I never will. It is SIN and even when times are tough don't. I would'nt be able to look my wife in the eye if i ever did.
1 person likes this
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
i agree with your views. I think extramarital affairs are more in thoughts than people really doing it in real. I will definitely wont do it.
1 person likes this
@aquariancore (608)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Selfishness and lack of respect. The people who do have them get creative about justifying them too. Don't fool yourself it is not just a man thing either. It is a coin that flips on both sides.
1 person likes this
@tocika (970)
• Romania
9 Jan 07
I don't like that.As a girl I don't like that have one,but I don't like that my partner has one.I believe that after that,you can have trust in person that loves and who u love.Is nice to love with heart and not with only the body.
For me is not exist ExtraMarital affairs.
1 person likes this
@wesker311 (508)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
Extra Marital Affairs are the reasons of a broken family. Children hating their parents, blaming them for not staying together! It affects everyone! I mean how can a person ever engage in that kind of situation if he/she knows that the other person is already married! it's a big NO!!! only uneducated person would do that... im sorry!
1 person likes this
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
thanks for your sweet and honest reply..!! We all should build a community or a society against these extra martial affairs and which helps people suffering with this problem...what do you think?
@avs189 (1030)
• India
9 Jan 07
I agree with u buddy , the major reason for the above cause is lack of satisfaction from the partner or the he/she doesnt hold the same feelings as they used to hold before the marriage ,or perhaps the atraction or charisma of love that binds them together has descended and wanting to search for new mate rather than old mundane one!!!!!!!!!
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
thank you very much for sahring your thoughts. I also think its more lack of interest and reduction of attraction and love that has been putting them together.
@aryan1611 (1)
• India
10 Jan 07
affairs after being married is not good for any one........
1 person likes this
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
9 Jan 07
i am against extramarital affairs. I may be wrong for those who are not satisfied with their partners and are looking for something more. This is not the case with me and i have no reason to give it a try.
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
9 Jan 07
thanks for your reply...keep me sending more reasons and the way to stop it.
@tuishta (147)
• India
9 Jan 07
I THINK IT IS COMPLETELY WRONG TO CHEAT ON ANYONE WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT!!! If you're going to do it have the guts to say it before you do . it's cowardly to go and do something and then hide it from the person or ask forgiveness later. Why bother committing yourself to that person for life if you're not sure. It doesn't matter if you want to experiment or whatever nobody deserves to be treated like that. And especially when you have a family it shows whether you even have a conscience . People who cheat are selfish and they only think about themselves and not how their actions will affect others !
@ichampin (593)
• India
9 Jan 07
No, I don't think that extramarital affair is right.
There are many reasons why people have extramarital affair.
1)If you are having continuous conflicts and tension with your partner then he/she would look for a more peaceful person and sometimes landed himself in an extramarital affair.
2) If your partner is not satisfied with you physically then he/she can move on to have a extramarital affair.
3) If there is no more understanding between you and your partner then, he/she could loose interest in you.
there are some other factors also, like Drinking, working late, not able to give proper time to your partner and many more reasons.
It is not neccesary that because of above said reasons a person would start a extramarital affair, it depends on person to person that what he likes and what he doesn't.
It is also not necessary that a man is the one who likes extramarital affair, it could be a women also.
1 person likes this
@dbansal83 (5)
• India
9 Jan 07
Well I believe , if any thing exists in this world, then ther ehas to be some good reeason for some behind that, yes it is verymuich possible that it may not be acceptable to everybody or even majority thinks that the thing has no logic behind that...
Now talking specifically aboutthe EMA's ( Extra Marital Affairs) well I think one can easily get in to these if his/her desires are not fulfilled with there current engagements and that is quite obvious ... but where it goes wrong is people hide these relationships from world and try to row in both boats at same time in an oppsite stream of life.....from it all starts messing your life and finally you end up ion guilty about the EMA as it is accepted in society...
But if you think it other way... and gut fully announce your EMA and get in to discussion with affected people .. then I believe it can solve big issues.... THAT's ALL I WANT ADD