Rough housing between kids...
By Bev1986
@Bev1986 (1425)
United States
January 9, 2007 9:41am CST
Okay, I was raised with a sister and a brother by our mother. My dad passed away from a heart attack when he was only 41 and we were 2, 4 and 6 years old. Growing up, we had fun, but we never really played roughly together... what some people call "rough housing" or wrestling, I believe.
We have two daughters. Yes, they like to play around but they don't rough house either. That's great with me.
However, when we go to visit my hubby's family, our nephews are always wrestling and hitting each other and screwing around, being so rough! Every time you turn around, someone is getting hurt or something is getting broken!
I hate it, and I always look like the bad guy when I tell them to calm down, or make a comment about someone getting hurt.
Do parents of boys just accept this as normal behavior? I honestly don't say much, but occasionally it just gets overwhelming and I just can't sit there and watch them hurt each other!
7 people like this
32 responses
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I grew up with two brothers and a sister. We would all wrestle, goof around. Sometimes the dog would join in with us :) Most of the time no one got seriously hurt. Bruises were the worst and mainly on me, but I'm very fair skinned and bruise easily. Most of the time it was all fun. However that being said we always did it in areas were things wouldn't get broken. The big family room where nothing was around or outside. There is a place for it and not every room the house should handle such behavior.
@unithorn (193)
• United States
10 Jan 07
It is rather normal behavior for young boys - however, it should be monitored to some degree, just to make sure that nothing is getting broken.
Also, it is important for the parents to establish that wrestling and whatnot is fine in play, but violence is not always necessary to settle a dispute.
So long as it's one-on-one contact, they should be fine. Just be careful with what "weapons" they are allowed to use. For example, my friend Jessi and her brothers were whopping eachother with laundry one day (swatting eachother with shirts, mainly), and one of them grabbed and swung a pair of pants. By freak chance, the jeans button hit Jessi directly in the eye and...detatched her retina? I'm not quite sure, but she can't see out of it, and it looks lazy.
So, as long as minld caution is used, don't worry!
2 people like this
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I was raised with six brothers and two sisters. My sisters weren't so bad about rough housing but the boys..Wow.
As the youngest girl and as a tomboy I had to be tough to survive. My brother not quite two years older than I, told a friend I could always beat him at stuff til I got to be 12 and then he got to where he could outrun me. I think kids should learn the limits on what they can do and if someone is getting hurt as it seems your nephew was then the one doing it should be called down about it. Granted the parents should do it butif one is getting hurt then someone needs to do it. It depends a lot on whether or not the parents allow this to happen, I think, how rowdy the kids get.
2 people like this
@zaratoga (83)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 07
Rough house is usual for the boys, it will make them feel stronger than the lady. eventhough the rough is also do by the girl but it will depend on the parents, how they teach them to be polite and not rude to the other.Advising by the parent, it will make the situation can be overcomed
@EmmaWatsonLover (111)
• Australia
10 Jan 07
I think this conversation is not only sexist but also stereotypical. I happen to be a boy (shock, horror) and it is extremely rare if my brother and I have a fight. You should all stop taking what one person does and applying that vision to everyone who is even remotely similiar.
@awesomehorizons (884)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Rough housing does seem to be more among boys but girls are also rough housers in some families. My brother has all girls and all of them are rough housers, and like you said, things get broken and kids get hurt. It doesn't seem to bother their parents at all :O But it sure bothers me :O
I guess it all depends on the parents whether or not they allow it from their kids. If a parent was involved in rough housing as a child chances are they won't mind it with their own kids making it harder for those kids that don't rough house at all. Don't worry about being the bad guy though, look at it like you could be saving someone a trip to the doctor or hospital, then it won't matter ;)
@lilbitgreen (167)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I have three girls and the two older ones are just as tough as the boys when they rough house. And I am sure when the baby is old enough she will to. I don't think it has anything to do being wussies or teaching them to stand up to a bully. I was a tomboy growing up and being "tough" was something I had to deal with everyday. It is a thing that has been around for centuries. But I do agree that it can get out of hand and as the parent it is my responsibility to control the rough housing. The kids need to be taught that there is a time and a place that it is not approriate. But unfortunatly there are many instances when you go out and you want to tell someone elses kids to knock it off, but that again comes down to a parent teaching the kids when not to rough house.
2 people like this
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
my two sons are also into wrestling especially when they are about to sleep. the older one is really fun into it. and the younger one is learning. my 2yo is really enjoying running, jumping, tumbling etc. i guess thats really what boys are. they are more active than girls. i just see to it that nobodys hurting too much.
@gloria777 (1674)
• India
10 Jan 07
Kids sometimes fight each other. I have two sons and they seldom fight each other. May be there age difference is 5 years. But in some house as you mentioned I can see kids fights occasionally causing hurts.
1 person likes this
@chiquita1977 (1706)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I have four kids and they do not rough house but i know other kids that are constantly rough housing and they are mostly boys alot of the parents just think that is what boys are supose to do.I just think they think its boys being boys or something so they just accept it.if the boys were seriously hurting each other i think the parents would step in but until then i think we should just let them be kids even if they do rough house a little
1 person likes this
@arseniajoaquin (1732)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
Children nowadays are more active than ever, not only boys but also girls. they should play actively but not to the extent of hurting each other. They might be hurt, but accidentally. If they intentionally hurt each other, that's a different story and that must be curbed as early as possible. We don't want to raise beast. Adult and children alike watch wrestling and that's really teaching children to almost kill each other like jungle survival - survival of the fittest. Children should be taught not to be harmful.
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I got a rude awaking to rough houseing. I was a single parent for a longtime and my kids would play but never really rough. Then I met my husband and was constantly telling my step children to stop somebody was going to get hurt and I would get very upset because I was not use to it. Plus it was exhausting keeping up with the bruising and the things getting broken. This wasn't boys either. He has one boy and two girls. I think it's just on how people raise thier children not saying that it is bad but not something that I want. My step children have realized that it is not something that is accepted in our home and now play great together without. It might be more common in boys. I just find it unacceptable. To many risks in rough houseing exspecially as they get older and stronger.
1 person likes this
@conniej14 (248)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I don't like the horse playing either. I think it is a form of agression and it should not be tolerated.
1 person likes this
@jasonsian (231)
• Malaysia
10 Jan 07
I don't think children should play rough. What you have done is correct. You don't have to mind whether they think that you are a bad guy or not. What you did is good for them, preventing them to hurt each other. They will understand what you did for them is good when they grow up. Actually, the main problem is how their parents think about this. If they think that it's okay, then there's nothing more you can do. If anything happens, hopefully they will learn from it.
1 person likes this
@shellyrios (1212)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I think it's ok. I have two boys and they wrestle around and rough house, but if one of them gets hurt then, I tell them to stop and if they don't then it's on them.....It's natural for boys I think.....Think of it as their bonding time with each other!
1 person likes this
@firemansgirl001 (916)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I think that some parents of boys accept the behavior. I have step kids and biological kids. I have 2 girls (mine) and a boy and girl (his). The boy is out of control and I am always told by my husband that is the way he was when he was his age. My girls dont act like that. I am definately not for it. I have a hard time seeing him act that way. I try to bite my lip but it doesnt always happen.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
9 Jan 07
There are many behaviours that appear in boys because they are alloed and not necessarily because they are natrual. I think that if the boys bother you then you shouldn't go to visit in your brother's house, because you are on his turf and really have to abide by his rules.
There's nothing wrong with stating thatyou woud reather have them visit when on your turf, unless you have lots of breakables, or to explain thatyou can't visit nearly as often because your nerves can't handle it!
@harmoniebreeze (246)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Isn't that crazy. Most moms I know of boys even went a safar to say "well, there boys" like that is an excuse for being completely uncivilized!
1 person likes this
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I sure wouldn't like my kids to be roughhousing that much, if I had children. I think that a little bit of play is healthy, but if they are really hurting each other and/or breaking things, it should really be brought to a stop immediately. I'm sorry that you end up looking like the bad guy for trying to stop them. I don't understand that at all. It seems to me like you are doing the family a favor! ^_^
@serene2 (278)
• New Zealand
9 Jan 07
I know what you mean.
It can be very frustrating for us when that happens to our son.
We tell the parents, but they don't really do anything apart from time out or a little talking to.
A good slap in the rear end works wonders we think.
What we allow, our children will do.
1 person likes this
