A guy holding his girlfriend or wife's purse - and why it p!sses me off
By hassanchop
@hassanchop (820)
United States
January 10, 2007 2:35am CST
Okay, so tonight, I go to the dodgeball tourney. My church holds on every week, so I go and I play. But about 15 minutes in, I'm immediately distracted, and nearly get hit by a ball, because I notice some guy, standing with his girlfriend, holding her purse for her. This makes me legitimately irritated, and every time I look over again for the next hour and a half, I see him with the purse.
Why does it irritate me? It shows me who's in control of the relationship, and it shows me he's been wussified by his girlfriend. And don't even try to convince me that maybe he WANTED to hold her purse for her - I believe that almost no guy does, but many guys do it because they are afraid to say no to the wife or girlfriend. And it wasn't one of those ambiguous messenger-bag looking deals - it was a handbag with black and white hearts all over it! And there's no chance it would have been HIS purse, for all of you devil's advocates out there - it did not come close to matching his wardrobe in any way whatsoever, and I figure if a guy's already effeminate enough that he wants to own a purse with black and white hearts on it, then he's already got the wardrobe-matching thing taken care of. Heck, I match my wardrobe very well, and I am about the least effeminate guy you will meet.
So what's the deal? Am I just bein a beating, here? Am I right and this guy's a wuss? I highly doubt that I'm in the minority.
21 people like this
93 responses
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I do not believe that a guy holding the womans purse is that bad and not worth being upset about. I would not get irritated over something like that. I probably would not even have noticed. It is their decision to do what they want to do. We have no control of what others do. If she asked him to hold it then he is being a gentlemen by doing so. Maybe she got tired of holding it. If I saw a guy holding a womans purse, I would care less about it. I have more important things to think about or be concerned about.
7 people like this
@Withoutwings (6992)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I agree with him. If my boyfriend makes me go to a sporting event and I get tired of holding my purse, I don't think anything of him holding it for me. He won't get inside my purse for anything. That's too weird for him. But he will hold it. Especially if I'm carrying a bunch of his crap in it too.
6 people like this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Right on kgwat!!! It is their business and not ours. And I too have more things to be concerned about than a man holding a woman's purse.
3 people like this
@foxsoon (150)
• Australia
11 Jan 07
I saw my friend holding a pink purse for his girlfriend and stuff, but then again his girlfriend is carrying some donuts. Not bad after all in my opinion. If it's love, why not? I'd hold my gf's handbag if she is busy or were to head to the toilet or so, because I know she would also be carrying and taking care of my stuff if I were to be in the situation too. I think it's known as trust mate... trust. ^_^
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 07
Yes I would think so to as the Girl should be holding her bag if I didn't want to hold my Bag I would not take it with me and I would certainly never expect my Man to hold it
That is an embarrassment to the bloke to but then again he should tell her to hold her own Purse
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I only ask my husband to hold my handbag if I need to do something and it would get in the way. If I am going to tie my shoe, zip my coat or try on a jacket at the store.
He watched my purse for me when we went to a concert in an auditorium and I wanted to go to the ladies' room without it. I asked if he would mind watching it or should I take it with me. He said he'd watch it.
He can hold it for you for a minute, watch it for you, but he shouldn't carry it.
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
10 Jan 07
Gabs, if I asked my husband to hold my bag and he told me to hold it myself I'd belt him over the head with it. LOL!
3 people like this
@athul555 (91)
• India
10 Jan 07
If she asked him to hold it then he is being a gentlemen by doing so. Maybe she got tired of holding it. If I saw a guy holding a womans purse, I would care less about it.If I am out shopping or something and I want to try clothes on and my hubby is with me jhe will hold my purse for meYou dont ask them to embarrass themselves in front of other men. I wouldnt want my husband to ask me to do something embarrassing in front of other women. It's just not right. So i guess all in all i can agree with you!!
.sometimes the girls need a break too!:D
3 people like this
@euniceeleanor (5966)
• Singapore
10 Jan 07
LOL i agree with you that i dont like guys going around, carrying their gf/wife handbag too...but then, i have to quote my example..i always carry this big black document bag wherever i go as it's so convenient and i can put a lot of things inside...thus resulted in being too heavy for me to carry at times..my bf will volunteered to help me carry it for a short while just to let me rest for awhile...but of course, he will carry it in his own manly way :D the break is a welcome for me but i will usually take it back after 5 mins...dont be so mad...sometimes the girls need a break too! :D
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
10 Jan 07
i'm so surprised of how that thing could hit you hard :)
reading along the discussion the thread, i saw different reactions here, some even mentioned the wearing of pink is not manly, lol! you know what, a real man doesn't care if he does unmanly(?) things for his woman, it just shows all he cares about is doing things for her (lucky her). it may appear to others like he's effeminate or not in control, but ironically, it pretty much shows how confident he is about his manliness, that doing stuff like that doesn't hurt his ego a bit and that he doesn't feel like proving anything coz he's comfortable and secure about himself. man, that's what i call a real man :)
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
10 Jan 07
well, i do agree. but in a girlfriend and boyfriend relationship, i notice that the nice things a man does to his girlfriend just fades away in time. like it's just for impressing the girlfriend and not really done heartily. i let my man do and carry some things for me if i cannot handle it on my own. sometimes i don't even need to ask. he just do it for me when necessary. it does not mean that i respect him less. it just shows that i am also capable of doing things myself.
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
10 Jan 07
What does it matter to you what other guys do? I generally carry my own purse, but my husband has done it for me a few times like when I'm busy doing something where I need both hands, or when I was having back problems and I couldn't take carrying the extra weight. I appreciate his thoughtfullness. I don't have to ask him. He just does it. Helping someone never makes you a wuss! Get a life and quit worrying about the doings of other people.
2 people like this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I think that this really is determined by what you mean by "holding" her purse. I sometimes joke that I married my husband because he's part mule. We have three young children and he will often be seen carrying the diaper bag, another bag with extra clothes for our kiddos and my purse all slung together. Now he only does this when he's trying to get me out of church in a hurry and will sometimes put my purse in one of the other bags. He will also hold my purse while I'm putting on my coat and hand it back to me immediately after my coat is on. I believe that this is a very gentlemanly thing to do.
But I don't ever think there was a time when he held on to my purse for a half hour. Was there a reason the girlfriend couldn't have put her purse on the floor next to her?
Perhaps there was a lot of money in it and the boyfriend was being bribed to hold it??
@Liasonfan (1702)
• Canada
10 Jan 07
Wow--I can see you feel really strongly about this! My hubby hates to hold my purse, and if he does, it is likely just for a moment or two if I have my hands full and then he can't wait to give it back to me again. I think this is so funny, because when we are out, especially on holiday, I make sure I go with a practically EMPTY purse because before I know it, he gives me his keys, sunglasses, tylenol, wallet, whatever he has to put in MY purse and make ME carry around. So yes, it is my belief that a guy should help carry the weight of it every now and again! And yes, we are both EQUALLY in control of our relationship!
1 person likes this
@shelonewolf1969 (486)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Yea I hated the thing he said shows who controls the relationship like a guy suspost to yea right ..NOT !! relationships are partnerships not one is in control it is a joint agreement .
@nuffsed (1271)
•
10 Jan 07
Hey Bro, you are so macho. No way you are going to sleep at night thinking about a man holding a purse or bag for his woman, damn he has just got to be some kind of fa##ot wuss henpecked submissive jerk!!! That is so disgusting!!!! OOOOOWeee
Your church must be real proud of you. And no doubt you go and say all those prayers about loving your neigbour and judge not lest ye be judged and let him who is without and all that goody goody churchy stuff, and yet you gotta have some fit over a guy with the balls to know he's man enough not to feel compromised by his girl asking him to hold her bag.
I guess that guy wont be playing with five finger mary when he gets home.
You'd probably have a fit if you saw me sailing down your sidewalk, but you know what. Not many women are scared of a man appearing femenine, they knowwhat works on the ballfield aint the same as what works in bed. Lordy lordy that's afact!!!
@charlieb1979 (392)
• United States
10 Jan 07
If he saw me walking down his street he'd probably ask to be deported from the US knowing there is such an effeminate gay man living here. Honestly...some people just need to grow a set and get over themselves before they trip and fall!!
1 person likes this
@granpasbluigrl (67)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Yeah... so have you ever thought that maybe he likes helping his g/f. I don't really understand what you saw either... if she was standing right next to him holding his hand... that really dosn't make much sence. i could see it if her hands were full... but anyway. I think you need to get in touch with your sensative side... and understand that it's not meant to bruise a man's ego... it's mean to make him feel important and like he's doing a good thing.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
11 Jan 07
What is the problem here I wonder? How do you know it was his girlfriends purse, just because he was holding it and how do you know what the relationship is between the two of them? It could have been a dare, even a bet he won or lost and so he had to hold the handbag/purse.
It does seem to me that you were making a lot of assumptions. I wonder why are you making a big deal out of it, as it certainly isn't showing any Christian charity and I do think you are in the minority by stating that this guy is a wuss.
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
12 Jan 07
The only time I would think to ask my boyfriend to hold my purse is when i either go to the bathroom or into the dressing room, but that is very rare. If she was standing right there beside him there is no reason he should have been holding HER purse.
@braveheartpt (3037)
• Portugal
11 Jan 07
Yep not a good sight, but it piss me more when I have for a moment or so to hold my wife´s purse. Even for a minute I don´t like it. But maybe that guy was being friendly and helping his girlfriend, that don´t means that she or he are in control.
1 person likes this
@tw99384 (259)
• Jodhpur, India
11 Jan 07
Would you rather prefer a girl holding a man's purse for him??? Why do you feel so insecure if a girl and a boy treat each other as equals? Wouldn't a man hold his friend's bag if asked to do so? Or wouldn't a girl do so for another girl? You act as though you are in the 18th century!
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
11 Jan 07
LOL!
You might have a point.
I will admit, when we go out somewhere, like shopping. I sometimes get tired of holding my purse, so I make my husband hold it. And he does because he knows better then to tell me no.
But that was a while ago when I use to do that.
I don't even carry a purse anymore though, because it did look kind of funny for my husband walking around with MY purse. Plus my mother pointed it out to me that it looked funny. So I just don't bother bringing a purse. I just let him carry the money and then we are set to go.
It's just lazy on my half. I admit. :(
LOL!
@jenbatres (799)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I have seen men actually carry a purse, but you say this is not the case. I also get annoyed when I see a man holding the womens purse-- I think of two things either he is afraid of her spending money or he is whipped. If I ever asked my man to carry/hold my purse he would straight our refuse, now I wouldn't ask him to do this. If a women wants to carry a purse she should be the one lugging it around. Personally when I go to the mall, I take just my credit card and/or cash and lock the purse in my trunk. It is too much extra baggage.
1 person likes this
