Daughters-in -law
By getnbuy
@getnbuy (1312)
United States
January 10, 2007 6:01pm CST
What is it about being a mother -in-law that makes their DIL hate them? I have tried to be a nice, quiet, friendly, non-judgemental MIL, but my DIL still dislikes me! MIL have a bad rap and can't seem to lose it, no matter how hard they try. I know some DIL love their MIL, but not mine. Is there anything I can do?
2 responses
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Probably not. No matter what you do, you will never be her mother and unfortunatly, that is who we compare you too. I know that I am that way with my MIL. I always think to myself "My mom would never do it that way, or my mom does it better". Don't get me wrong, my MIL isn't a horrible person, but again, she's just not my mom.
I would just give your DIL some room. If it is a new marriage, she will in time come around. But don't push it. Just every once and awhile, invite her to do something she likes. If she declines, so be it. Don't push. Then a little while later try again. It's hard. I don't know how it is to be a mother in law but I do know how to be a daughter in law... And it's hard sometimes. And I am sure it is for you too...
1 person likes this
@getnbuy (1312)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I think you hit the nail on the head. I am not her Mom. She even told me that when they married. I already have a Mom, she said. she won't call me Mom, either. She calls me by my first name. That's ok with me, but I think it is the root of the problem. I will just continue trying to be nice without being pushy..
@LeslieD (59)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Seems like she's not very secure in her husband's love. If she thinks he loves his mom more than her, she will always resent you. Sounds like it is her problem, not yours. I really like my mother in law and consider her a friend. I am secure in the knowledge that her son loves me. I was also older though when I married and I married him, not his family. It could be a maturity issue on her part. Maybe she thinks you look at them as kids, not mature adults. Have you tried asking her opinion of things or getting her advice on something? If she thinks she is on equal footing with you, perhaps the dynamics of the relationship will change.
