My friend and her 12 year old son
By shannon76
@shannon76 (1232)
United States
January 10, 2007 10:14pm CST
Tell me what you think about this situation. My friend has 4 kids. Her new husband has 2 kids. The father of the 4 kids is not involved (she has a restraining order against him for the kids - he is a very bad man). The mother of the new husbands kids is sometimes involved and sometimes not. Well the youngest of the husbands 2 kids is 13 and now living with my friend and her husband and the other 4 kids. Well, the 12 year old is now doing everything the 13 year old does and basically being his monkey so to speak. He has a potty mouth now and talks back to his mother and talks about killing himself, killing his mom and killing his younger sister (which has MS and is wheelchair bound). This boy acts completely different when the 13 year old boy is around. It is truely like night and day. Everytime I go over there he is such a sweet boy to me (that is when the 13 year old is not around). He will play with my 9 month old and talk to me about school and just be a all around good boy. But when the 13 year old is around, he acts like a typical teenager, won't talk to me, acts snotty and such. So my friend doesn't want this kid around anymore (the 13 year old) and frankly I don't blame her. But that is her husbands son so it's not like she can just kick him out or anything. What is your opinion? What should she do? She does tell her husband about it and he does repremand both boys for acting up and such but it is just a vicous cycle with them.
So tell me what you all think.
6 responses
@jbones32103 (717)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Before it gets worse they might need to go to therapy in order to find out why he has to behave this way in front of the other. It could be a way he's trying to fit in with the family and this could get resolved if addressed now.
1 person likes this
@ashjoe76 (1422)
• India
19 Jan 07
I think this situation has to be handled by specialists, preferably from the mental health sector. Both the boys may need the help of a therapist, to sort out their problems and to find out the reason for their odd behaviour. It may perhaps be the younger boy's insecurity when someone just slightly older than him is occupying the space he considered just his own. It may not be wise to think against the older one. But it is better top rest the matter with someone who can analyse this issue impersonally. I don't think it is fair to kick a thirteen year old boy out of your house for some problems that had not been clarified yet. As a child, he too has some rights, and even if proven guilty, he deserves another chance.
1 person likes this
@witmuch (184)
• United States
16 Jan 07
it sound like the 12 year old is trying to make himself more protective, but i don't think that he learned it from the older boy. i think that the 12 year old is trying the scare tactic to make friend with the 13 year old. the 12 year old may not like or even hates what his own father did or was trying to do but he is acting out the only way he knows how. the way his father taught him. if the step dad is doing his part in the discipline then he needs to think also of ways to communicate with both boys separately for a while and then try to bring them both for outings.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Well It's obvious that the 12 year old is just trying to impress the older child, and that is why he is acting up so much. Maybe pull the 13 year old aside and talk to him about the responsibility of being a role model. You don't want to make him feel like he's a bad kid, because that will just make him act worse, and problably will hurt his self-esteem in the long run. ALso pull the 12 year old aside, and let him know that his behaviour is not acceptable, and set up some consequences and follow through. Good luck to you all..
1 person likes this
@army_auntie (5)
• United States
19 Jan 07
I had a problem similar to this when I met my husband. I put my foot down and said I won't have it in my house. I took the kid to the police and it worked for awhile. If I can suggest anything it would be military school. They will whip them kids into shape and give them the disipline that seems to be missing.
1 person likes this
