Autism and Sleep Schedules!! HELP!! how do YOU do it?
By kittykatzz
@kittykatzz (1132)
United States
January 11, 2007 7:31am CST
my nine year old is autistic and i cant for the life of me get him to sleep at ANY specific time ever!.. its like he decided his own BEDTIME!! hes got such a horrid sleep schedule and often will be so deprived he will nap at school!.. its so difficult on us as a family becuase he really cant be left alone which causes one of us to be up off and on most of the night! i mean ifeel like ive tried EVERYTHING!! sometimes its seems hell go to bed at 8 or 9 (hes has to be up by 7am to get ready for school) but other nights hes up till after 2am!!.. sometimes hell go to bed early and then just be up at midnight for HOURS!!!.. he sleeps during random hours and i feel likei cant stop him.. i cant explain to him that he needs to sleep because he needs to get up in the morning and hell be tired if he doesnt .. he just doenst understand that.. i even have to allow him to be late for school just to sleep a little longer (his teacher and aide understand this thankfully).. if he doesnt understand it, i feel its "cruel" to keep him awake when hes tired due to sleep deprivation, hes still only a child!.. i sometimes will give him an herbal supplement to help himsleep called"melatonin".. and it does work.. (although we have to hold him down and force it into his mouth! i feel awful doing it!) but the problem is even though its only herbal and not a harsh product, you can still become dependent on it so i dont give it to him more than once a week if that.. (they say not to use it daily for more than 3 weeks straight at a time to reduce risk of dependeny, thats something i definitely dont want!)people always say just "make him" go to bed!.. the problem is i CAN make him go to bed, but i cant MAKE him sleep!.. i even try to lay down with him but he'll still be awake laying there for hours!.. we try to not let him eat sweets later and not let him play games or anything late at night to reduce stimulation.. but nothing works! i feel so bad!.. any ideas!!.. im willing to try almost anything! except medication.. i just cant put my 9 year old on "sleeping pills" i feel that would make it alot worse.. i can "handle" my situtaion.. its his schedule that concerns me~!
3 people like this
20 responses
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I have worked with a little boy that has autism and was going through the same thing and overcoming his sleep order was not easy.His parents went to see an expert in sleeping disorders that could be your childs psychiatrist or peaditrician.Keep a sleep diary so that you can show them.Thats what they did.IT is hard getting a child with autism to sleep around bed time they are anxious.you might want to gradually switch his diet up,or give him a massage so he can calm down near bed time.I hope you get some help.I know you have a hand full I work with mentally challenged adults.Take care and good luck!!
3 people like this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
thank you so much for the idea of the diary... although we have discussed this matter at length with his doctor.. as far as the massage, he just wouldnt have something like that but it was a good idea!. i try to just lay with him.. thank yuou for responding!
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
11 Jan 07
My kiddos are pretty young, so I don't know what it's like yet to be in your shoes.. and I have no idea if my kids will have this trouble when they're 9. I sure hope not (so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! LOL).
My kids are 3 and 4 1/2. My 3 yr old is the one with Autism, and apparently has night terrors, according to this new doctor we saw today. Other than that, he sleeps through the night. He (and my daughter) have also been on a sleep schedule since I can remember. To be honest, I have no idea how I was able to get them on one. I just hope to h#ll they stay on it for a long time to come! LOL
I'm so sorry you're going through this, though. That sounds awful. You must be running on empty at this point! :(
How active is he during the day? Does his activity level seem to have any effect on how long he sleeps, or how well he sleeps at night?
2 people like this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
you know its so weird, thats usually the first thing people ask when it comes to him not "settling down" at night is "how active is he during the day?" well the truth is.. he NEVER stops moving!, i mean like eever!,, its crazy. he doesnt sit!. i know what you must be thinking well , what about when he watches tv, or reads, or plays his games, or eats!.. my answer is he is usually jumping up and down!.. i know it sounds crazy, and i dont mean 100% of the time, but at LEAST 85% or better..its so hard, i can only count 1 time that he has sat withus and ate dinner, in the last year (excluding cake during someones bday! lol) he doesnt sit when he plays on the computer or when he plays nis nintendo.. he almost always "beboppin" around!.. even when hes laying on the couch for a few moments here and there hes rolling around saying "eeee eeee eeee" lol.. so to anwer that.. even when were not out and about, hes still goin!.. hes like the newand improved energizer bunny!
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
docs always recommend medicating..im honestly just sick of their opinions.. though we love our doctors.. i think theyre jsut out of other ideas except medication.
@cognigen (121)
• Mexico
12 Jan 07
Again, regular pediatricians have no idea what they
are talking about. You are right not to consider any
medication which would cause your son to be sedated,
because that would compromise his quality of life.
We donated $500,000 to the University of Washington
just to keep a research and treatment clinic open
to help us and the parents of other autistic kids
(see my other posts on this topic); and we developed
a relationship with one of the world's foremost
authorities on treatment of autism. Topamax, the
medicine that helps stabilize Erin's moods, does not
sedate her. Topamax is normally prescribed as an anti
epileptic medication. There is a big difference
between sedating your son and using a medicine that
might help to normalize his brain chemistry.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
11 Jan 07
He's so cute, both of your children are. I know how you feel! I don't have a child with autism but I have so many kids that one of them is up in the middle of the night atleast 4-5 times a week, so I don't get any sleep either.
How severe is his autism? I mean, I have a friend her child has it severely and there is absolutely no reasoning with him what-so-ever. She basically has to lock him in his room at night for fear that he will go outside, try to cook, etc. But my other friends child isn't so bad.
Have you thought about doing that? Securing him in his room so that if he does want to stay up all night, he won't wake up the rest of the house?
Also, I know you are busy, but try to wear his little butt out!! From the time he gets home from school, till bedtime, play play play with him until he's so tired he will have to go to sleep. Go to the park, take a long walk, etc. Once you've done this for a while, it should straighten him out. I would try to cut out the naps at school completely, that's why he's up all night, cuz he's sleeping all day!
Hope I've helped! Good Luck and Take care!
1 person likes this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
thank you so much.. his autism is moderate to severe.. as far as locking him in his room i havent taken it that far however, we have had to bolt and double lock all enterances/exits to our home becuase he HAS left the house a few times when he was younger in the early morning hours.. the thing is i dont so much have a problem with him staying in his room.. later at night around the bedtime hours and later he doesnt have a problem being in his room, he's actually completely content being in his room.. he just wont sleep...we have all of his tv/vcr/dvd/games systems and such hooked up to a master on/off switch so that we can turn it off from downstairs without having to unplug anything so the only thing he can turn on is his light.. we did this to try to stop him from overstimulating himself through games and videos.. he often gets so overly excited that he usually just jumping up and down making "grunting" noises...he just wont sleep.. even if i laydown with him he will lay in bed with what reminds me of "the giggles" (best i can explain!) he can get very loud and has totally disrupted my younger sons sleep pattern as well (as he now typically just doesnt go to bed till about 11 or 12!... as far a s me being busy.. the only thing i feel i do is chase him around all day! lol.. with it being winter, alot of the outdoor activities now are pretty impossible and we refuses to wear items that typical kids need on to be able to play outside for any extended period of time.. but i dont think it makes that much of a difference as during warmer times we spend alot of time outdoors and at parks and such and he has the same problems.. he just seems to have the energy levels of an adult who drinks 10 cups of coffee a day! we dont have any "nap times" as he is now 9 however i do allow him here and there as does the school to be able to sleep a little when hes excessively tired only cause it would jsut be mean to keep him awake cause hes only still jsut a boy.. thank you so much for responding! much appreciated.. hope this gives you little more insight as to my situation
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Oh my goodness! How do you do it??? You must be so exhausted. He's basically like 10 two years wrapped in one, huh?
I've run across a website that might help you...
http://www.angelfire.com/tn3/task/sleep.html
Please check it out and let me know if it helps at all. Keep in touch. If you need anything at all, I'm here!
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
12 Jan 07
In an earlier response someone mentioned an herb pillow. That is a good idea. Also you should look into aroma therapy.
I was the manager in a group home where we were having a terrible time with one of the women. She was not autistic, she was moderately retarded with ADHD and did alot of self injurious behaviors.
I looked into aromatherapy and sent for some esential oils and room sprays. I can't remember the combination we used... but we would put a certain amount of 3 different oils on a cotton ball and put it in her bra. At night we would put the drops on the collar of her pj's. It helped alot to calm her.
We used the room sprays for dinner or tv time etc. when she was antsy. I wish I could remember which ones I bought but it's been 6 yrs. I remember having lavendar, but that's all.
I found the info online and purchased the stuff at that site.... I don't think it would hurt anyway. I hate meds too.
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
12 Jan 07
thank you very much for the helpful advice! we'er looking into this, this weekend!
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
11 Jan 07
My 12 yr old son frequently suffers from insomnia. I know you are against medicating him, but our dr suggested benadryl or tylenol pm liquid if he is having an anxiety attack that is preventing him from going to sleep. These happen infrequently, so he is given the meds only once a month or so.
One natural thing that we have found effective is to give our son a glass of warm chocolate milk before bed. The warm milk has chemicals in it that help him to fall asleep. If your son has to avoid casien, then this won't work for you. We have to steer away from it now because our son has a weight problem.
Does your son like to read? We have implemented 30 minutes of free time after going to bed for our son to do something that he enjoys. Sometimes it's reading, other times it is lining up his cars or sorting his Pokemon cards. Doing repetitive play helps to calm him so that he's able to sleep.
One last thing, we moved our son's bedtime to a later time. We used to insist on 9pm---but he could never calm down enough to go to sleep before 11, which would stress him out. Now, his bedtime is 10pm, 11 if he is currently involved in something that really really interests him. Regardless of when he goes to bed, he's usually asleep by 11:15 and up by 5:30am. They just don't need as much sleep as the average person.
I hope one of these suggestions might help. I know how hard it can be.
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
gosh meds are so harsh,, not to mention the fact that he doesnt take ANYTHING willingly .. the melatonin we have to really force upon him and i hate it.. thankfully he's really an otherwise physically healthy kid (although i dont realllly know how considering his diet!) but sometimes he will even vomit when given that (and thats a chewable flavored like a kids tylenol consistency) as far as the milk, good idea but hell only drink it at school in a specific type of container (weve tried using them at home! lol).. he does read its jus tnot somthing that calms him down in the evening, and we've tried to stop all of his repetetive behaviors (except for rewinding videos cuz we just gave up.. we cant stop him! he's unstoppable, lol)we have learned though if we become too presistent at night trying to get him to sleep it just has the opposite effect as he jsut gets worked up and stressed out then hell get angry and sometimes even thow things and bang things, and this could be at after midnight!.,.we've put boards in his windows so that he doesnt break them or fall (as the bedrrooms are on the 2nd floor ) thank you so much for responding and the ideas!
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I can completely relate to the milk bottle issue. My son is very adamant about things being done the "proper" way, as well. The thought of drinking out of a different type of glass, for instance, will make him very upset.
I had a thought. Have you thought of making your son a pillow with herbs inside? I'm not sure which ones (although chammomile comes to mind) help to relax, but there are many out there. You could also try placing a diffuser in his room to give off the scents of lavendar and chammomile. Of course, this won't work if your son is highly sensitive to scents, but I thought I'd throw the idea out there for you.
1 person likes this
@saivin (33)
• India
11 Jan 07
Every child is unique and God given gift.Please don't try sleeping pills or any kind of antibiotics on him,it will destroy his natural god given powers.Your child's energy level seems to be on extra high level which is required for both of you to sit and discuss or meet some doctor who will advise you to deal with the situation.
Your child can excel very much in sports like football,cricket or any other game which he can excel. Try alternative medicine homeopathy ayurvedic medicines which are available in market. I will think on this and come back to you to give best solution as possible. Please keep in touch.
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
thank you for responding.. as ive only used melatonin which is natural herbal supplement.. i too am against using medication for sleep aide because i dont want to mess with bigger problems later on as they can become dependent... chemical dependency is a whole other can of worms! unfortunately Andy doesnt understand the concept of a team like sports environment and has just this year began to "catch" a ballthrown at him vs. wait till it stops moving to walk over and pick it up.. thank you so much for your response!
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
11 Jan 07
How about first of all you calm yourself down. If you're tense and frustrated, he will feel it. He will get agitated thinking he has upset you. Try having very calm evenings with just famiily doing quiet things. Sit with him and watch TV. Read to him. Talk to him about going to bed and how important it is to all of us. Quietly take him in and put him in his bed. Then sit and quietly rub his back to help him relax. If you lay down with him and fall asleep, then take the chance and sleep even if he doesn't. I'm sure holding him down and forcing medicine into his mouth doesn't calm him down much. Try grinding it very fine and putting it into an evening snack for him.
1 person likes this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
wow.. i think you have misunderstood me.. im not tense, frustrated, or unable to calm myself downn.. lol.. are you familiar with autism?? i wish i could just sit with him and watch a tv show.. he doesnt "watch tv" in the way you and i do.. he jsut rewinds the same parts of certain episodes (usually the ending credits) or playsback games shots or dvd things.. he doesnt allow someone to rub his back like you say.. he does hug and such and likes to be picked up.. and has even sat with and layed with his younger brother.. but if i tried rubbing his back he'd freak!.. as odd as my own sleep patterns are, thankfully since there are 2 of us and only one of him, i still do sleep enough.. just add sometimes odd times..and for the record weve only forced melatonin (which isnt medicine) when it was like 2 am and we were at our wits end or once in a while.. we try it in juice but IT FLOATS!! lol.. so he sees it.. its something we dont "prepare" in advance cuz we only use it as alast resort becuase we dont want to use it often and there fore dont plan to use it in advance.. im just curious.. how many times do you think you could physically pick up a 9 year old and put him back in bed before you couldnt do it again? i mean in one night? 10 ? 30? 50? more?? i mean, if its one thing that my son DEFINITELY is .. is persistent! i mean no defensiveness.. im just trying to paint a picture to give you a glimpse into my reality!
1 person likes this
@oresal (1350)
• El Salvador
12 Jan 07
look, ur best option here and my advice to u is to take ur son to a specialist on autism, he could help ur son a lot. dont try to work this out for urself, get some professional assistance asap, someone who knows a lot on this field could really help ur son, no one else
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
12 Jan 07
thank you for your advice.. the only problem is that the doctors always suggest medicating, as i feel my sons sleeping issues are in need of assistance, i dont feel i need to take it to the extreme of putting him on a "sleeping pill" to regiment his schedule for i fear that the side effects or possible dependency could impose an even larger problem than i am having now.
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
11 Jan 07
My-heart-goes-out-to-you.--I-have-a-very-close-friend-who-also-has-an-autistic-teenage-daughter.--She-has-been-autistic-since-3.--They-have-her-in-Higashi-school-up-in-Boston-and-when-she-comes-home-for-visits,-she-is-difficult-in-sleeping-at-times,-my-friend-has-to-sleep-when-she-is-asleep.--I-will-be-more-then-happy-to-give-you-her-email-and-the-two-of-you-could-try-to-connect:Decknxf@aol.com-Tell-her-that-Shaindel-sent-you-and-good-luck!
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
11 Jan 07
thank you so much for responding. are you saying that she is in a school but without her family?? is it like and institution? .. im looking to to this ina home environment.. but ive learned atthis point that i have no other choice but to just sleep when he does! lol.. i understand your friends dilemma!
@jajaka_desa (219)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 07
first of all, autism is s a spectrum disorder meaning that it occurs in varying degrees,There are children that have autism,and to the average person you may never know. I use to do therapy for children with autism, and one of the kids that I worked with, had great speech, play with toys fine, but had no eye contact, when playing with the toys he wanted to do the same thing over and over again. it's important for all kids to be around different people and kids.
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I know I responded to you a few days ago relating to this in a way and I know you don't want to give him medications. Believe me, we don't either with CJ. But it was so bad for CJ, just like your child, that we had to. But the thing was, we only had to do this for a short time; just enough to get his little body on a regular sleep schedule. It saved our lives. And, if you ever decide to try this again, take my advice and only give him 1/4 of the pill. It doesn't take long to take affect. The medication is, Clonidine - 0.1 mg.
What I used to do was break the pill in half with my fingers and break a half into half again.
I hope I didn't upset you by suggesting this to you as I know you don't want to give him anything but it really worked for us. It shouldn't take but a few weeks, if that, to get your little guy on a normal sleep schedule.
God Bless and good luck with whatever you try.
1 person likes this
@jbones32103 (717)
• United States
12 Jan 07
My three year old has his own bedtime. There isn't anything wrong with him except he has his days and nights mixed up by going to bed when he wanted to every night. Now he goes to bed sometimes when his older sisters and brother go to bed. Maybe they go through different phases through different times. My seven year old is also the same way.
1 person likes this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
12 Jan 07
i hear ya.. it wouldnt even really bother me that he sleeps in odd patterns if he wasnt in school yet though, and it does tend to affect his schoolwork.. not everyday, but enough that it significantly impacts his studies.
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
I think you should ask a professional on how you should send him to sleep on a natural way for him to have a normal schedule of sleeping. I agree with the first one to find some food or ask prefessional what kind of food he can take to send him to sleep.
1 person likes this
@skybitscom (74)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I have a cousin with an autistic boy. I would be glad to hook you up with her. She is a great person. She lives in Maryland. Just let me know. She has 3 boys plus her husband whom we call the 4th. Their youngest is autistic and I think he is 10 or so now.
Laura
@A12MCMULLIN (41)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I wish I knew too. I have a 3 year old who stays up till sunrise usually. She will not perform any set sleep schedule. When I try to make her sleep, she'll occupy herself in her crib for hours on end and still never sleep. The only time she sleeps is when her boidy cant take it anymore and then I'll find her passed out in the other room on the floor. If you dont mind, I'd like to read your responses as they come in so I can try to help my situation too. Thank You.
1 person likes this
@rein2410 (809)
• Australia
12 Jan 07
That is really bad. I got a friend that is having trouble to keep himself awake. The method is to hold on and force his eyes to open. and he finally be able to overcome that. Well. this one is preety hard. esspecially he is 9 years old. No, dont force him too much and dont give vitamins first to overcome this. I suggest you consult doctor about this as this is a very serious problem
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