Need advice! Mother troubles.
By mayakup
@mayakup (1303)
United States
January 11, 2007 3:47pm CST
My husband and I have been very happily married for almost a year now. But my mother hates him and has come to hate me as well. We haven't spoken since the wedding (which the day before she said she wasn't going to attend). Well she did attend it and it was an amazing wedding for us, but shortly after the wedding we haven't spoken since.
The last 3 times I called her she started screaming at me and then hung up on me. She accused my husband that he is trying to distance me from the family. My husband always says to me anytime I want to go visit my parents that we can make tickets and go. I told my mom this and she said I am lying about it.
I have a very close and loving relationship with my dad, and although she talks bad about me to him, he doesn't agree with her and we are in touch everyday.
Would you contact your mom or give her up for good? When I have kids, they will have one less grandmother, but I think she may be a bad influence on them and speak bad about their father. What do you think?
4 responses
@xylee112201 (108)
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
First of all, you should never give up your mom for good since she is still your mother...Another, do you know the reason why your mom hates your husband? since it was not stated in your story...
Anyway just keep on reaching to your mom, the only problem i can see there is that maybe she's insecured or jealous since you have a new family...or fear that you would forget her since she's not getting any younger, she just misses you....
@mayakup (1303)
• United States
11 Jan 07
she hates him because she wanted me to marry a doctor, lawyer or engineer and he is neither. My sister married an engineer and she loves her husband. He is no better a man than my husband. We both have great husbands she just doesnt like the career mine has. He has an MBA and works as a Marketing Manager and he is 26 and so am I.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
11 Jan 07
I would not keep in contact with her until she cooled off. She is probably mad because you "left" her. When she realizes how silly and childsih she has been acting, she will come around.
@redyellowblackdog (10629)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Nah, you do not have to give up for good on your mom. However, there is absolutely nothing you can do to convince her to treat you and your husband better.
What I'd recommend is to stop contacting her, and wait for her to contact you. This works with children all the time when they do not want to play nice.
Trouble makers frequently want attention more than anything else. They just can not stand to be ignored and to see others happy without them.
So, go on with your life, concentrating on making it as happy as possible.
Odds are that after some time has passed, your Mom will want back in your life, especially if you are having a happy, good life.
When she wants back in, accept her without rubbing her nose in it or reminding her that the hole in her life was created by herself.
Good luck.
@itsokrelax (733)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Just sit her down and have a talk with her... tell her everything you just told us and how you feel. If she still doesn't get better then I wouldn't give up on her, but sure wouldn't worry about it as much.
