LET'S SHARE JOKES HERE...

What is white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's perverted rice.

Teacher to the student: Who built the Tajmahal. Student who was not concentrating in class, on hearing the teacher's call to answer the question said: No, I did not built it.

I do have another one, but it is a little 'racey'. I do however, think we should be careful with the jokes we tell; there are children here. I have to do this just one time though. A pair of newlyweds were getting ready for bed the night of their honeymoon. The man is in bed witing impatiently. His wife is at her dressing table getting ready for bed. She takes out her contact lenses, then removes her false eye lashes. Then, as she is taking her 'falsies' out, her husband says to her, "When you get to the part I want, just throw it over here!!"

Warning...a little "racy". Subject: summer of '57 It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. "Peggy Sue’s not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. That's cool. Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I Hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says "Wha...aaat?" "Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; Why, she'd screw all night if we let her!" Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother: "Darn it, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Banta: “I’m so proud, my son is in medical school.” Raj: “What’s he studying?” Banta: “Oh! He is not studying. They are studying him!”

A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I'd like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual. The pet shop owner replied, well, I have one Rairy-bird left... The man said, I've never even heard of a Rairy-bird, that certainly makes it unusual, I'll take it! So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally, the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn't fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I've got to get rid of this animal-I can't afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck: "It's a long long way to tip-a-Rairy!! A policeman walked over to a parked car and asked the driver if the car was licensed. 'Of course it is,' replied the driver. 'Great, I'll have a pint then.'

I love to be here

An Irishman walks out of a bar.... Thanks everyone for the great jokes, they've been very enjoyable and funny... i'll check back again for more.

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules."I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be $ex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh. What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them. Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?" The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...

Santa and Banta, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Banta noticed Santa looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What would you like Santa?" he asked. "I’m looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish," Santa replied. "Santa, you like meat and potatoes. You won’t like that dish," Banta said. "What do you know," answered Santa, "I'm getting it." "Santa, I'm telling you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won’t like it!" Banta exclaimed. "I’m getting it and that is the last word!" says Santa. A short while later the meals arrive at the table. Santa looks down and his dish and says to Banta, “Where are my eggs?”

Different Boys Load A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?" The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son." With that the husband pcassed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."