My daughter

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My daughter who is will be 16 tomorrow is in foster care. It is not because I beat her or anything like that. It was more of a case of counselling between me and her was going no where. She suffers from depression and I have bipolar. Her worker came today to give me the court papers because she becomes a ward of the court on Monday. As I read through the papers, its always referring to my illness and my mental unstability. I have had Child services involved in my life 2 times. The first was when some called them when my second husband was abusing my older 2 children mentally and physically while I would be at work. They told me to leave him or they would take the kids. I did. They never gave me one red penny to help me get on my feet. I was shift working at the time and my parents lived in a different province. The second time I called them myself to see if they could help me and my daughter. I had called numerous agencies. We worked with one for awhile. Then the worker started working with her alone. Finally, my daughter refused to see her anymore. She had been hospitalized 3 times for sucide/depression. Reading through these papers has set me back about 10 steps in my illness. I feel so depressed and feel like all the work I have been doing since she went in to care and with my doctor counts as nothing. I pick my daughter up and take her for horse riding lessons which I pay for every week. She usually stops by once a week and puts music on her ipod and chats on msn on the computer once a week cause she is not allowed at her foster home. My doctor thinks I have come along way now these papers keep calling me mentally unstable. They said I am depressed and isolated. I haven't been able to stop crying because I feel like a failure as a mother and a person. I have worked so hard in battling this illness, it is hard to explain. It has had an terrible affect on my entire family and I have to wonder if I didn't have it would my kids turned out different.