My best friends husband doesn't want to work

i think taht she should get rid of him. Even if she has traditinally been the breadwinner that doesn't give him the right to be an unfeeling, uncaring, clod!

maybe , he have never found a job that he really like it. Because working on a job, that he does not like ,could make stress.

well ... the best thing for her would be to look for another man ... even is she already has a family with this "good for nothing" husband. If he doesn't care about his family now ... where would she go after when she is older ? It's better that she looks for another guy ... that appreciates her ... Just my honest opinion

I think you can help your friend. you can help little financially. you can also try to get a good job for your husband. if you do that it will sure relieve your friend. your friend can take rest for some days.

Nobody can help her, only she can help her self. Your friend is still in the state of denial that his husband is looking for a job. She's still hoping that he will change and will realize that their family is growing that he needs to work for the future of his children. I also think that your friend is scared to have her children grow up in a broken family. Tell her at this time and age she's not the only sigle mom in this world. If she will continue to be with that man, her children's values will deteriorate also they will think that it is normal for a mother to work for the family which the normal set up is the father who is providing for the family. Women work this time because of the high cost of living but it is unfair for us women to take the role of the man when we still have the man in our lives. If we take the role as bread winner night as well get rod of that good for nothing man. I hope she gets rid of that man because chances are she will get pregnant again, and another burden for her. I hope she will find the courage to fight for her right. Wish her all the best. And for you the bestfriend just hang in there for her she needs you more than anything just your presence and understanding I know she can handle it.

Has your friend spoken to him about this? Communication is so important in a marriage! I'd be curious to know why he can't hold down a job. Does he keep getting fired or does he quit? Either way he really needs to face up to his responsibilities. As to what you can do to help? Maybe offer to baby sit once in a while so she can get some 'me time' for herself. Even if it's just for a couple of hours to get a manicure or look around the shops. Sounds like she needs it! :)

She will have to help herself. There is nothing you can do for her other than being there for her. She will have to stand up to him and tell him to find a job or get out.

if she is the bread winner of the family, she might as well as leave her husband... one less mouth to feed...

never heard of such a lazy men, he could have done something productive if he did not want to work also, i think your friend needs to make it clear to her husband that working for in that condition would be very harmful for her health.

I think she should leave him and carry on with her life. I know some of my friends husband who does not go for work. One of my friend's husband does not go to work at all. He takes money from her and use it for drinking and poor girl has to work all the day and to cook and also has to take care of children. Some people are too lazy and hard to change. One of my friend's elder brother is also very lazy. He buys new shirts often and new shoes and tries to look as stylish as he can. He does not go for work. He took his younger sister's money and poor girl spends all money on him and she doesnt have money for her own uses. I don't when this guy will learn about responsibility. Most porbably this guy will after marriage try to depend on his wife's money like your friend's husband.

She's lucky enough to have you as her friend. Nowadays, report says that there is a growing number of stay at home dads. But if the switch of duties doesn't cause trouble in their marriage, and she accepts her new role in the family... I don't see any problem with it.

Encourage your friend to discuss this problem with her hubby. Maybe he is passing from a depression. Maybe he needs help to overcome this situation. If everything fails I dont think its fair to carry the burden all by herself, if he is just a lazy guy.

advice her..to talk to her husband bout her problem & if he dun wan to listen, leave him. i mean its no point to stuck with sumone who just dun care bout the family. all he know is to sit at home doing nothing while his wife is out there working like hell. is that what we call a gentleman ?

I have a friend that has a husband like that also, I just don't understand what is wrong with people not wanting to work or help out with the family. I would suggest you talk to your friend and convince her to speak with her husband about helping out around the house. I know after a while your friend god forbid will be run down with working, taking care of home, and not having a life for herself. But overall if she is totally in love with this man, SHE is going to have to get over that before anything happens. Love makes you do crazy things and you don't realize it. Good luck with your friend...

I think the best thing to do under these circumstances is that she separates from him not divorce him straight away that will force him to earn money by working to feed himself. If you genuinely want to help your friend, support her now mentally, emotionally, financially. So that your friend is not emotionally backmailed by her husband. And if he does not mend his ways even then and is not taking care of your friend or his family, then you should start your life afresh with guy who is more responsible and caring and who genuinely love your friend with her children.

In your friend's case, it would be much easier for her to support three people (herself and the 2 children) then it would be 4 people. I think that men like this should be divorced and kicked out and left to live on their own resources. I don't agree with laziness, especially lazy people who won't take the responsibility to support their family. To answer your question, you really can't help her. I don't suggest giving her money...he (the husband) would probably start thinking that you would always bail them out. The only way things will change is if your friend decides she wants them to change. Hopefully she will, because right now she is showing her children that she thinks it is o.k. for their father to sit at home and not work...and they very well could reach adulthood thinking they have the right to do the same and that someone should support them.

This is something with women. You always talk of love while putting reality aside. How can you get married to somebody you know is lazy I am your friend would have know that the man is lazy before going to tie the nuptial nut with him. I tell you the best option for your friend to think of her own stand and find solution. That man won't work and will probeably be happy having a wife financing the house. She must sit up and wise up.

Tell your friend to tell her husband that if he does like this and don't work then how will she alone be able to handle the house along with the two childrens and if he still be the same then tell him she will divorce him and marry some other guy who can feed her as well as her childrens. and i am sure there will be some change to the situation.

There is something obviously wrong with this guy. It is just natural for a guy to want to work or be doing something just to keep busy. I am a work aholic and when my girl tries to get me to take some time off I just go absolutely crazy that I am not working and we don't even have any kids so we can afford to take a little time off. To know that this guy has a wife and kids and doesn't want to look for a job tells me that there is something wrong there. What type of a role model are you being for your children when they see daddy sitting at home not doing a damn thing? He needs to be threatened with something like her leaving and taking the kids or else he is never going to change.

Well first of all there is only one thing that she can do... LEAVE. It's obvious that he's not learning anything and as long as she puts up with it, he's not going to change. It's possible that maybe he's just depressed or something but he needs to understand that he has a family to care for and if it's just not important enough to him then she'll have to make a stand and walk out the door. She can provide better for herself and for the kids with one less mouth to feed. I know it's easier said than done so all you can do as a friend is tell her the truth and help her out any way that you can. Good luck.