I want all womens opinion on this one...
By angel102083
@angel102083 (640)
United States
January 14, 2007 10:39pm CST
I found out from my doctor that I can not get my tubes tied until I am 29 or unless I have 3 kids Which I think is wrong it is my body and if I say I am done with having kids I belive they should respect my choice to have my tubes tied instead of forcing me to wait until I am 29 years old what do you think?
12 people like this
52 responses
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Oh man, I hear you. I've heard the same complaint from so many women. There's this push by the American Board of Health to treat all women as 'pre-pregnant' and to keep women as fertile and healthy for a 'potential fetus' as possible. And most doctors are on board and will refuse tubals and other permanent or semi-permanent forms of birth control unless there's a medical condition involved.
There are options! You will have to look into other doctors, though. There are those out there who will give you a tubal when *you* want it. What state are you in, I can ask around for doctors in your area that might be helpful.
3 people like this
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I'll ask around and see what I can find out for you.
3 people like this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
15 Jan 07
I think you should be able to, but I undertsand why they do it. They are trying to get you to wait aslong as possible to ensure that you don't want to have more kids becuase getting the procedure reversed is painful and costly. Most people know that by age 30 or so. I don't know what the law is where I live now, but most health insurance companies would approve the procedure until you are a certian age or have a certian number of kids, same thing for vasectomies. When I was younger and we were under military insurance, I was told the same thing as you, but they make you wait until you are a certian and age have 3 kids. I was blown away. Now that my I remarried and might want another kid, I am glad that I couldn't get it done.
3 people like this
@angel102083 (640)
• United States
15 Jan 07
thank you and I understand the reasoning behind it but at the same time I have thought about this for 3 years and my husband and I both have agreed that two was enough for us...
2 people like this
@opinder (420)
• India
15 Jan 07
i understand and agree with your resoning. i feel it has to do with mental ability to make such a decision and also for the risk factor....i mean...there could be some complications. this sounds nasty......God forbid, if you lost a child...and wanted to have more....then....undoing it could mean extra money and pain. rest is entirely upto you...happy parenting!!
3 people like this
@samsonskola (3357)
• United States
15 Jan 07
i think too, that a woman should have a choice, however, I can somewhat relate to the decision by the doctors. At your age, yes, you two have decided that you don't want anymore kids. But what if in 5 years you change your mind? Always leave room for you to change your mind ...it is a woman's perogative, after all, and in the meantime, just use other forms of birth control...that way, if for some reason you do change your mind, you won't regret a decision.
3 people like this
@penny78256 (288)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I think you should check with the state broad of health because that just doesn't sound right to me i know here in Mississippi you must be 21 before you can have it done. So check and make sure this info is correct.
@angel102083 (640)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I did in the state of missouri or at least my area no doctor will tie your tubes until you are 29...
@fiarby (105)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
Being a mother is dream of every girl. The responsibility that goes along with it is another matter. Having your tubes tied is your own personal choice. Having a small number of children will give you the benefit of giving them the best and at the same time enjoy their growing years.
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I vehemently disagree. That is completely untrue. I have never wanted children for a moment in my life. I've never understood chilrend, I've never wanted anything to do with babies, and I have certainly always had an issue with the issues that come along with pregnancy and labour.
So, I'm sorry, but no, it's not "every girl's dream to be a mother" and women should definately have the choice of receiving permanent or semi-permanent birth control procedures. Especially if you already have children.
2 people like this
@smalltownmtngirl (327)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I have one daughter. I had my tubes tied at age 22. Granted, my pregnancy was a very hard one. But, if you fight hard enough, and have a doctor that will listen, you can have them tied if you want. There is no law stating you have to wait.
3 people like this
@sexysilver (928)
• United States
16 Jan 07
At 21 years old I had my second baby. I also had a difficult pregnancy - I had hyperemesis & lost 20 pounds. My daughter was born disabled & requires lots of care an attention - she's already had 3 intestional surgeries! And the doctors still gave me a hard time! I spent my days & nights with her in the NICU, but when my husband returned to work I returned home to care for our son, still visiting her daily though. My insurance ran out (I was on medicaid) & had been with my daughter more than fighting for my tubes to be tied & got pregnant again.
Before their reasons were that I'm too young. But when my next baby is born I WILL get my tubes tied! I have 3 kids, one of which is disabled & unless those dr's want to start paying child support they better start respecting their patients wishes!
3 people like this
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Oh man... that really sucks. I was going to talk to my doctor about that this year and I am 25. I don't live in your state though. I think it is wrong that you can't get it done. Good grief.... :(
2 people like this
@Poison_Girl (4150)
• United States
16 Jan 07
This is something that just pisses me off. You think it's hard now, imagine being in your 20's and having NO kids. They make it extremely difficult to get tubals if you're young and don't have any kids. Even if you're ABSOLUTELY SURE you never want kids. Well, that's what I've heard anyway. Kinda puts me off of trying, but I still want it done. From what I've heard, some doctors will let you get a tubal if you've already had kids, even if you're still in your 20's. I would try to get a 2nd opinion. Good luck!
2 people like this
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Well, that sounds like a load of crap! My mom got her tubes tied before she was 29 (if I remember correctly), and she only had 2 kids. My SIL had her tubes tied, and she had 0 kids.
I'm sorry, but if you already know you're done having kids, they need to butt out of it.
2 people like this
@raven33 (69)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I was 32 when I had my son. I entered the hospital at 6 months after having a very difficult pregnancy and being very sick thoughout. At the time I entered the hospital I had severe preclamsia brought on quickly do to a factor with my blood and my kidneys were close to shutting down. I had made my mind up at that point that no matter the outcome, I wanted my tubes tied, I did not want to risk my life or another child's life again with the health problems I had.
I was told that it wasn't a problem and they would perform the procedure most likely before I left the hospital or if they needed to perform a c-section. My son was born a few days later by c-section, but due to his low birthrate they refused to tie my tubes at that time.
Months later after my son was in the clear and doing well, I went back to my OB/GYN seeking to have the procedure done...and was refused due to the fact that I only had one child, I literally had to demand that they do it and sign a mountain of paperwork in order for them to do it.
Needless to say after the birth of my son the simple tubal ligation became not so simple due to the scar tissue I had formed as a result of the c-section. They had to open me up again to perform the operation, the healing time was extended, and I also developed a nasty infection with a high fever. I think the un-written rules on this that Dr.'s keep are crazy...it's our bodies, let us decide what is and what is not right for us.
2 people like this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I guess it varies with each state. I don't think I should get my tubes tied. If your married, and both you and your spouse don't want any more kids. The guy should go and have a vasectomy. I mean us women have to stay in the hospital while the guy goes in and it's done and over. After he goes back for a sperm count, then it's good to go. For women, we can still get pregnant. I have a friend that's a tubes tied baby. To much pain and trouble with the risk of still getting pregnant. Not worth it.
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Your doctor is in correct. I would get a different opinion. I had my tubes tied at 27 after my forth child. It is your right and they can set a opinion but they can't tell you what age you have to be. The insurance company might not cover it but the decision in the end is yours to make.
@angel102083 (640)
• United States
16 Jan 07
actually in my area men even have to be 29 as well.. thats what bothers me we want something permenent because we dont want to get pregnant again and not be able to handle it...
@moonshadow68 (723)
• United States
16 Jan 07
This is a fairly typical response within the medical community and yet a man can go have a vasectomy at any time he wants one. I realize the procedures are different, but really, if you are mature enough to be a parent, then you are mature enough to decide for yourself when you are done ahving children.
Speaking from experience, there are a lot of things that interfere with other forms of birth control and doctors should not have the right to tell you that you aren't old enough to decide agaisnt having more children.
Can you go to a nearby state....Illinois, Iowa, Kansas....somewhere...and find a doctor who will lsiten to you?
This is actually a pet peeve of mine....doctors that think they know more about their patients' choices than the patients do. If you can't find a doctor that listens, how can you actually be certain heis listening to your medical complaints?!
2 people like this
@tigereyes (74)
• India
15 Jan 07
i think that if they make u sign a form saying that u r doing this by your choice then its fine to go ahead and do it. i know that in india, they get it signed from either the woman or both woman and man if hes involved..that way u cant blame the doctor or the hospital and sue them.
its stupid for them to follow a rule saying you gotta wait till 29 beacuse its not like miraculously u will not sue them after that..
3 people like this
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Wow. I just saw that you are in Missouri - so am I. I had _no_ idea that we had a law like that here, unless it isn't a law and your particular doctor just feels that it is a wise decision. It seems really strange to me. I mean, I can kind of understand why they don't want people making a decision like this lightly, because the person might later want to take it back and have more children after all. But I still think that it is your decision to make. If you were like 18-19 years old and wanting your tubes tied I could see why the answer would be no. But you are obviously a bit older than that.
2 people like this
@gonzalu (216)
• Portugal
15 Jan 07
Whow, That really makes no sense. There is minimum risk in that surgery, and you are the one responsible for your body! you should be allowed to do that.
maybe you should see other doctors to see what can be done. I totally agree with your position. That law is totally inadequate
2 people like this
@sexysilver (928)
• United States
16 Jan 07
She asked for all women to plaese answer, but never excluded men from answering. Glad you answered! :)
1 person likes this
@jamie11982 (1658)
• United States
16 Jan 07
How old are you now? The reason why they want you to wait is to make sure that you won'r change your mind down the road and say "i want another child" and you can't because of your tubes nbeing tied. so now they make you wait all that time. i do agree that its your body and should be able to have them tied if you want to but what if you change your mind in 2 or 3 years??? i was going to get them tied after i had my daughter and i backed out at the last minute. if i did get them tired then i would never of had my next son. he's now 3 months old and is named after his father.
2 people like this
@nobodyspecial (1011)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I know 30+ years ago this was so but I had believed that it changed within the last 10-15 years to be a personal choice. I would check with the state board of health to see if there are any legal restrictions which the doctors may fear causing repercussions on their ability to continue working and if there are none then seek out another physician who will comply with your wishes.
May I ask why your husband or S/O as the case may be, does not opt for sterilization? The procedure is less difficult for males and often more easily reversible in the event one changes their mind.
Note, not all tubal ligations are effective and tubes have been known to return to their former state. Please do enough research so you have the procedure that will be most reassuring for you.
2 people like this
@patootie (3592)
•
16 Jan 07
I had just the same problem .. I wanted this doing when I was 21 .. I knew my mind I knew I didn't want any more children EVER ... so why did I have to wait until I was 27 (UK) .. eventually I did get it don't at 25 ... as I demanded to have it done and said I wouldn't leave until they had agreed .. or I would scream and scream ...
I know, childish and petty, but they did see how serious I was and did agree to do it early ...
2 people like this
@jtmblossom (470)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
If you are under age or still young,we medical staff would always ask you several times if you want it or not? But we usually opt for telling them that you must think 1st 'coz most women would want to have more children when they are at their 30's. From experience,most patients that we have their tubes tied were age ranges from 30-40 years old. If you belong to below 25-30 years old,we advice them to use contraceptives. That is irreversible that is why you need to think twice and a hundred times.
2 people like this
@sylvrrain (659)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I was too young to get my tubes tied after having my two children. I could not take birth control pills because they messed my system up so much.
My husband came to the rescue, he had a vasectomy. He had no problems, and it was done on a outpatient basis and he was home in just a few hours. A couple of days of walking funny, but other than that, everything went great.
It is such a relief knowing that you do not have to worry about birth control, it makes the intimate times even better.
2 people like this
@seewhy (231)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
I believe that you should have the right to do this if you want to. Like you said, you don't want any more children. What right does the docor have to make that decision for you. Will he be paying for the upbringing of another child if you become pregnant again? I think not!
2 people like this
