Should you discipline your children and your step children in the same way?
By Script
@Script (592)
Australia
January 15, 2007 4:26am CST
This came up in conversation between a friend and myself last night? She is living in a situation where she is married and has her two children living permanantly with her and her new husband.
The new husband's children come to stay on the weekends. Because her new husband only gets to see his children on occasion he ends up spoiling them rotton. Which to a point I can actually understand.
My friend is finding it really frustrating because any type of simple discipline she tries to enforce like a bed time the step children ignore. What's worse is that they run to their father and play them off one another.
My friend has tried talking to her new husband, but he doesn't seem to think it is an issue. He says that he gets to spend so little time with them he is willing to let things slide.
The other children have to adhere to the rules of the house and I believe that the step children should too.
What are people's thoughts on this? Are you experiencing or having a similar experience?
2 people like this
4 responses
@joeprakash2410 (114)
• India
16 Jan 07
When it is a matter of your own children and your step children you must discipline them in the same way.
Because they are anyhow your own children now.
you must give them utmost love and care so they are not affected in the near future.
This will help them live their life to the fullest not concerned about the complications
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
16 Jan 07
The problem are not the step children but the lack of communicaiton or understanding between the couple. On one hand the wife should understand that her husband can only see his children on weekends, so she can give an extra allowance and close one eye. On the other hand the husband should understand that his children should obey the house rules as well. In my opinion discipline should be there and enforced for everybody in the house.
1 person likes this
@kittykatzz (1132)
• United States
16 Jan 07
WOW! as a "stepchild" my self having had visits when i was little, with my father and his 3 children from a new marriage.. ive been one of those kids.. but not with "special rules".. honestly, i think that the only thing that might help this situation (if its at all possible) is to sit down with not only your husband but also the children's mother and discuss this situation at hand... if its not a good idea to have them both in the same room together (as i know some divorced excouples get along much better than others!) try at least talking to her and explaining the situation.. is it possible that the kids could visit a little more often so dad wouldnt feel the need to allow his previous children to get away with so much?? i mean i see maybe a little "let it slide" but no bedtimes and such?? i mean that should be determined by a childs age and specific needs.. not which parent they're staying with that particular night.. if their mother is a good parent she'll be willing to discuss the situation with your friend and try to come up with some rules that can be implemented for her children in BOTH her home and your friends.
1 person likes this
