If you caught your partner flirting what would you do?
@ivorychristine (123)
Philippines
January 15, 2007 6:42am CST
I just caught my husband flirting someone on his mobile phone. I learned about this when he's still sleeping until I decided to checked on his phone. There were numerous messages from the girl saying that they want to meet just the two of them. To avoid discussion since im already mad. I sent out a message to my husband that i am mad at him. For the whole day i was thinking what will i do? Im not the type of person who will make things worse. I dont have the girl mobile number coz i might be jumping into conclusion and i might be wrong. Can you give me advise on how to deal with this. Thanks.
12 people like this
110 responses
@baietzika (586)
• Romania
15 Jan 07
i don't know what type of man is your husband. anyhay most of men have such moments. you just be pacient. is it does not stopp...then you should worry. in this time just do all those thingh you know he loves most at you. remember what made him fell in love with you/.
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
He said if he's doing something fishy he could have deleted the message before he gets home. And he said he's not the one who's using the phone to text the girl. should i believe that? or is that a lame excuse?
1 person likes this
@angelOFdemise (100)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
lame excuse!! talk to him seriously about the matter. Use your mind, you should not let your emotions overcome you.
@Brooke3 (610)
•
15 Jan 07
I would do nothing. It really wouldn't bother me. I dont' get jealous over things like that and I know my partner would be completely honest with me about what he was doing and who the perosn was and what he felt for them.
But i'm in a polyamorous relationship so flirting isn't a big deal. If I were you I would confront him and ask him what is going on, stay calm and rational, get all of the information and then when you are calm enough make a decision about what to do.
1 person likes this
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Before i was thinking the same when we were still girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. He can flirt if he wants to. This is to test him if he is honest about our relationship. I caught him once and he admitted it. Marriage is a different scenario. I dont want our family to suffer immediately.
I will confront him once i got a firm grip on the situation, i'll do my best to stay calm.However, Im not sure how long can i hold on to my crouching tiger mood. Thanks alot for the advise.
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
15 Jan 07
I agree. Life's too short to waste worrying about a little flirting and jealousy is such a destructive thing.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
15 Jan 07
I would definately confront him about it. I would not rest until I had an amwser to what is going on. sure he might be angry that u went through his mobile, but also he shouldn´t keep secrets from you if u are his wife.
I found messages like this as well in my ex phone. i confronted him adn he turned it all on me. I should have never looked and all that stuff. However he was cheating on me and me calling the girl confirmed that.
Good lcuk to you!
1 person likes this
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
You did call the girl?? Did you talk to her nicely ? Or you did ask her first how she and your ex related?
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I am flattered that my man is really hot. In our country men like him tall, skinny, caucasian look is something women would like to have. Eventhough he is already commited to someone else.
If im putting myself on the third party shoes, i would definetly want that man and it would be great challenge for the both of us... Especially if the men is hitting on me also. You know what i mean a little spice makes things exciting. As long that the legal partner havent caught them they would still continue to play the fire.
@xylee112201 (108)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
How 'bout a talk with your husband regarding the girl on his mobile phone. If you really don't ask 'bout her, you can't really conclude or what will be your next step. Consider all factors either good or bad, that's then you'll start your next move. Goodluck....
1 person likes this
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
Should i talk to my husband in a soft manner?
1 person likes this
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@acosjo (1903)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
Yes, don't put fuel on the fire, especially yours. Ask him what is the meaning of this and se what he says. Personally I think he should not be doing this. Why you ask, because this isn't something I would do to my wife and would not like if she did that as well.
See what happens, but be calm. It may be innocent and not worth you getting fired up about it.
Good luck.
1 person likes this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I would give him a warning and talk to him about it. Then if if happens again his behind is out the door.
@ansmellayisa (504)
• Australia
15 Jan 07
Talk to him if his getting those messages his flirting and i class that as cheating stop him now tell him you wont stand by while he cheats
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
It looks to me that you have 3 choices. #1 confront your husband head on, tell him what you found out and demand an explanation. #2 leave him alone and punish yourself everytime his cellphone rings #3 do nothing until the problem gets worse. But don't talk to the girl, leave her alone, it's a matter between you and your hubby.
@cliffcliff (1350)
• United States
16 Jan 07
i think it is fine to pseak to the girl, just to find out whats going on... not to yell at her, but to ask her whats up!
@ashu_aryan85 (494)
• India
15 Jan 07
i wud simply break all my relationships wid her..
1 person likes this
@buddha02 (128)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
is it true??? well, the first thing you should do is to find out if true or not..if it's not true, just forget about it. then if it is really true, then its ur time to shine...talk to him and make him realize what a stupid thing he did flirting with other girls besides ur trust in him and ur hard work and patience in ur relationship. if i were you "uupakan ko na sya".
1 person likes this
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
Can you give me advise on how would i know if its true or not? I could get the girls mobile number. should i txt the girl as well?
1 person likes this
@kabella50 (309)
• United States
15 Jan 07
you are already looking for a way out.You say you could be wrong?about him receiving messages from another female?didn't sound like you made any mistakes.confront him and if he lies than you have a problem for if he lies about something you know is true then he will certainly lie about seeing her in the flesh.You will have to decide when you speak to him if he will stop this behavior,and don't let him make a joke of this and say it was nothing because it is some thing.If you deal with situation in the real you may come to a sad conclusion,but you need to know all that's going on and not be blinded by what you want to hear him say.
1 person likes this
@gendomingo (115)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
if it's the 1st time you caught him, confront him properly & calmly as you can about the matter & let him explain his side. try to control your temper so as not to blow-up his top during this confrontation. we have woman's/wife's instinct that would tell us if he is telling the truth or not. listen & observe well the manner of his answers & actions if he is sincere w/ what he says. constantly remind him of his responsibilities as a husband & that it may be ok to admire other girls but he must know how to put limitations to it as he now married. give him another chance to straighten up this mess. but, if he still continue to do it the next time around, then that would be another story. you have the option to keep the relationship or not this time. communicate constantly w/ your husband & pray for guidance.
@venshida (4836)
• United States
16 Jan 07
It seem like you might have trust issues, why would you check his mobile phone while he was sleeping. I think you should discuss it with him, but you need to address your distrust with him to.
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Actually, my husband is so secretive. He doesnt want me to know about his whereabouts coz i might get worried about him. Yes, i may have a distrust issue w/ him however his phone really helped alot to know what he is upto. Actually this is the first time i caught him doing that.
@pratikshah (87)
• India
16 Jan 07
Actually i am not married yet but if i caught my partner flirting with some other person then i would hold her hand and given her a slap on her face at that only moment.I would not tolerate such things and it would have broken my heart too.
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I would really love to give her a big slap on the face. If i could meet her personally. Since im so kind i could only do that in my dreams!
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Would you think if i flirt would make our problem worse? thats what i think.
@abraham_dsl (47)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
just cry...you can do nothing if your husband does not love you!!!
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I'll have to deal with this!!! (if you choose not to deal and you are the banker) grrrr!!!!
@Zebrochka (333)
• Brazil
16 Jan 07
Soory about your situation, girl.
The bad thing is that you showed him too early that you already know about it... so now he will hide better, and erase the messages, etc...
Believe me, I´ve been through this... if he really wants to meet with her and sleep with her, he will, whether you talk to him or not...
What you can do now is just to find out asap how bad is that and make a decision - whether you tolerate it or not.
Talking to the girl is quite risky... if the ggirl really wants him, she will always be on his side. Woman´s cooperation doens´t work in this field
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
Actually thats what i thought also. Talking to the girl is risky. Maybe if i done that i would be hard for me to solve the problem. Like what other say i might burn the fire so big.
@brockanonce (14)
• Pakistan
16 Jan 07
well well well
first of all did u break his phone or not lol
well jokes apart it might happen with any one
Some times we meet with a person even if we have a husband or a wife but still u know they r not on the place of our partner may be he is in contact with some one else with some else prefrences may be u are still the first choice of ur man ,,,Make him love u as much u want just from ur attitude dont worry about if he is connected with any girl coz u wont be able to keep eye on him and then ur heart will catch the worst anger just let him go any where with the Believe that u both are made for each other treat nicely more nicely but try to stay Quite....one day he will become a kicker and he will kick all those girls out of life of both of urs
best regards
:)
Brockan
@ivorychristine (123)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I hope in the soonest possible he would realized what you said. I've been wishing for that someday i would feel that im so secure that no one can destroy our relationship even nor an other party is involved. It would be a great desire of every women to have a man like that.
