Does it bother you that some parents let their kids be unruly?

I totally agree with what you're saying. I believe you can discipline your child in a decent way and keep them in control. I feel there is nothing wrong with a slight spank on the butt when needed. Time outs work great too. When I went shopping, I always kept the kids inside the baskets and would either bring something for them to play with or they could hold one item at the store during the trip, but they always had to put it back without a fuss. On occassion I'd buy the item they choose, or would bribe them with riding the merry-go-round in front of the store if they were really good. At costco, the big reward was going to the water machine and getting a water bottle. I've also had to walk my children to the restroom for a talk and butt swat if they misbehaved at dinner. One night we even had to return 3 times to the restroom. The thing is consistency and the kids get to know their limits. Another hint is the counting...1...2...3..., but you have to establish a discipline...be it swat on the butt or loss of privilige and on 3 it has to be followed through. My boys are nearly adults and the 1...2....3...still works. I've tested it without their knowing and man at number 2 they're up and doing what was asked....Love it! They're great boys and the discipline is minimal as teens. With the Lord's help and consistency with consequences for their behavior, they do learn to do what's right. Don't give in to their tantrums and don't give up with being consistent, that's the key!

Wow, you asked the question but, you explained it the best. You could open your own advice site. That was good.

Thanks....

Great point! Half the time all the ruckus the kids make are because they want your attention. If you make time with them to play, do house chores, read, anything, it will make a world of difference.

As far as rewording posts, if I've done that to you, I apologize and am not aware of it. I know that sometimes the discussions are so lengthy that I'll share my own view and not read all the posts that are there before mine. Maybe others do the same. Thanks for continuing to post anyway.

I have a friend that she has children like that. I asked her one day why she let her children scream their heart out and run around like they have fire on their ashes and she said that she let them do that in order to express their force and be at home silent. She said that it is an agreement that she had made with her children. I say KILL THE PARENT.

"Express themselves"....makes you want to strangle the parent and say "What...I'm just expressing myself" I don't get that one either. Good one!

That's crazy! Torment your neighbors to receive 5 minutes of peace at home.

Yes, it bothers me because the parents have no control of "young" children who will grow up to be unruly "adults". That is why we have so many crimes because their is no control from the beginning.

You're right about the childabuse calls. Here's a better one for you. My own son at age 10 was rebelling at school and at home really bad and my husband and I decided a spanking was appropriate for we he was doing. My son threatened to call the sheriff's and tell on us that we were going to spank him. My husband called the sheriff's first and explained my son's threat of child abuse and asked if they can come talk with us and our son. They came out and instead of telling us not to, them heard the situation and talked with my son about all the ways we can discipline him and corporal punishment was one. As long as specific things didn't happen. He ended his conversation with our son by telling him to go in his room and get prepared for his discipline and if he has to come back because he wouldn't he'll gladly spank him for us. I was shocked, but I loved the fact the office backed us up. Neither of our sons questioned it again. Now that my boys are older teens the discipline is definitely different. Spankings aren't as effective. Losing the computer or video games or even the phone seems to work really well too.

I hear what you're saying, but don't be too hard on parents that are actually trying some form of discipline and it's not getting the right response yet. That's where consistency comes in and where it gets really rough. My youngest son knew the discipline structure of time outs, apologizing, losing a privilege, getting rewards for good behavior, and spankings when extremely necessary, etc. He was just plain stubborn at times and didn't care at the outcome of discipline. I had to be consistent anyway. I was lucky though to have help from my parent's too. They would back me up with the discipline. He grew to know that tantrums lost all privileges immediately, etc. It's those time when you're reaching for straws and in your mind you want to strangle your kid, but you really don't, you just don't know what more to do. I didn't teach my son to pitch a fit or destroy things, neither did my husband. Some of this behaviour comes naturally to a child and gives them the feeling of control. It's very hard at times like these. The parent needs to remain in control and calm with a plan of action, the best they can. Talking to the child is great...especially letting them know its not acceptable, but then follow through with something for the child to realize its wrong. Some times even having the child apologize for what they did and give them ideas how they could've have done it differently. It has to be done over and over and over again to sink in. Kid's know if you'll give in and they'll push you until you do. Each time gets worse and worse if you give in though.

I agree with what you said. And being in the education field I understand that some behavior is just inborn. I suppose what really bothers me, is when you can really tell there is a definite lack of discipline in the home. Absolutely, 100% agree, consistency is the key.

Your daughter's strategy sounds very effective. I think talking to children as if they are adults is very wise. It's incredibly frustrating for children of all ages when parents or adults talk down to them.