Should I have another child, now or later or at all? Mom's Opinions!
By jsgrand0
@jsgrand0 (246)
United States
January 16, 2007 10:48am CST
Hello. I know ultimately it is a decision between my husband and myself, but I was wondering your opinions?
Here's the situation, nothing that's too big a deal but,
I am 26 and I loved school, I wanted to be a teacher, but instead, I put off school to start a family and stay home with my kids. My kids are 5 and almost 2 right now. I would like to have another child, but I am also looking forward to going back to school (i take 1 class per semester right now, online) and getting my teaching degree and going to work! In 3 years my youngest will be in Kidnergarten. and i could finish up my classes then. If i have another child in about a year, then I would have to wait another 6 years from now instead of 3. We can't really afford to pay for daycare so that I can also pay to go to school, and I don't like putting my kids in daycare, especially at young ages. So now, I'm battling on whether or not I should have another child now and just put off school even longer (although I'm worried no one will hire a newly graduated 35 year old to teach!) I don't really want to finish school and THEN have another child, that would put them too far apart. So, moms what is your opinion and have you ever been in a situation like this? what would you do? thanks for any suggestions!!
3 people like this
36 responses
@bluereddog1990 (35)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Is there anyway you could take night classes and hubby could watch the kids? or maybe take more online classes throughout the whole year.I personally wouldn't hold off on having another child. Later the timing may not be right or something else might come up. This is your dream so don't falter. You can juggle kids, a job, classes and hubby,you just have to find a system that works for you. Start by building a tree of sorts. Kind of like a family tree and branch off different ways to obtain the things you want and need. I'm sure you will find the answer.
1 person likes this
@jsgrand0 (246)
• United States
16 Jan 07
thanks, well thought response, but can't do night classes. Hubby doesn't get home until at LEAST 7pm and days off vary and he works saturdays... =(
classes offered online are limited and for teaching you have to do student teaching, but yeah..i'm definitely leaning toward having another child now...
@rbatarina13 (23)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
well to start it off im a dad not a mom,but icanrelate to your prolem, having a child is a wonderful thing but to reach your dream is also something your looking forward to, think about this, your already married and have kids, you don't belong to your self anymore you belong to your family,so do whats best for it, finish your studies, and get a job(teach) help your hubby provide, and give your kids a good education,anyway you can still have a baby at 35.
@dangerdvd (320)
• Italy
17 Jan 07
i think that you will have twe beautifull twins!!! ihihih that's great!!
@rubininidhish (567)
• India
17 Jan 07
since u have mentioned that it is not affordable to sent for dayscare. then how will u satisfy his wants . i think it is 2 baby enough for u.
@everybodylovesleah (244)
• United States
17 Jan 07
A lot of times it is more expensive to pay for daycare, especially with 2 children.
@aimee750 (1116)
• United States
18 Jan 07
I say if you both want another child, go for it. School can wait another 3 years. And don't be afraid of starting a job when you are 35. I can't see how that would be a negative. And everywhere I have lived there has always been a need for more teachers.
Go for it girl.
@5berries (120)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I think that having your children closer together is a better situation. We had two and thought we were going to stop there but along came my little one. I have not gotten a chance to go back to school but I would like to. I don't put my kids in daycare either but I do have a neighbor who helps me out once in a while.
Who cares if you get you degree at 35. By then you have so much MOM experience, you can deal with a bloody nose or whatever with confidence, the degree is just a piece of paper, that's not what will make you a great teacher, being a mom will. If we would get paid for our abilities as parents, we would be mortgage free and taking vacations once a month.
Not only that, by the time you have your next one your 2 year old will be very close to kindergarten and then you will only have one baby at home during the day to juggle with your schedule.
Our third turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Money is and always will be an issue. If you wait until you are financially secure, your will be going through menopause by then.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
17 Jan 07
This is only my opinion so here it goes. I would have another baby now, that is if that is really want you both want. Then I would worry about going back to school. I went back to school when I was 26 and had my son, they had different grants and scholarships that helped me pay for daycare right there on campus. It was nice as I got to see him inbetween all of my classes if I wanted to and they gave me a discount on fees if I would volunteer to teach a couple of classes a week. What I am saying is after the baby is born or even before you have your next, check out what grants and things are available to you that you will not have to pay back. The ones I got were great. Then see if they offer somewhere for your children and if you can get grants for that too. You have to read through them all, like the scholarships they will tell you exactly what you can use them for. Some do include these fees. I would not wait too long though on having another baby.
@aleks_saricx (410)
• United States
17 Jan 07
stick to your job first. dont have another child there's no point. save your money up till you can actually afford to have another child. and besides, why would you have another child anyways???????????????
@SuziBerardini (314)
• Canada
17 Jan 07
i am in a similar situation. i have a 2 year old and was looking forward to going back to school myself. then i just found out i am pregnant again. while im excited part of me really wanted a chance to get out of the house, see some people, have a conversation that doesnt involve sesame street. for me, it is better to go ahead and have the children we wanted, that way i know im "done" and can concentrate on my school when they are in school. im only 2 years older than you. my advice is to go ahead and ttc(try to concieve) and maybe take night classes. that way you get the best of everything you want.
@mauier113 (688)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
if you really want another child. i think this is the right time. It's harder to have child when you're older, let's say above 35, it woul be high risk pregnancy already. It's one of my regrets because I already have two kids, we still want to have another one but I'm afraid because of my age, I'm 37. i wish I had another when I was younger. You can still study online and if you really want to teach afterschooling, then you really have to make a choice by then. Teaching and putting your kids to day care or to be a first-hand mom to your kids.
@imahustler999 (119)
• Singapore
17 Jan 07
What you can do is finish off your degree now and perhaps put your kids into day care for a while, become a teacher and then get paid maternity!!! Good plan or what?
@katenkim (238)
• Singapore
17 Jan 07
Hey I know that the bigger family, the happier it is. But girl, your young and you need to look at your own interest, Wouldn't it be better n if you become a teacher and be a mom at the same time. You can always add more children..hehe ..what a ay to put it. Don't you want to earn for your own and be able to buy extra stuff for you and the kids.
@jolanda33 (720)
• Netherlands
17 Jan 07
i think i should wait! it is only 3 years! oke at that time your'e not pregnant also, and that can take also a year but why not?
i know people enough with kids at different ages!
but ofcourse it is up to you!
@wakeelbabu (94)
• India
17 Jan 07
yes i know its purely between your husband and you to decide to have child or not but it is good to know that you are keen to have one more child normally women want to have big gap between there child you sshould discuss with your husband because only your husband can know you closely then only you can take a right decision . but please dont decide in rush take you time discuss with few people and deceide
@CC09241974 (69)
• United States
17 Jan 07
AS I did, put my education on hold and had a family! I have 3 beautiful young children, yet can be a pain lately being cooped up because it has been so cold here.
Only you said nobody would a hire a 35 year old newly graduated teacher! Think of the experience you are gaining with raising kids that can be added to your resume! And what kind of hours does your husband work? Could you take early classes or evening classes and he could watch the kids while you are gone for an hour? Have family watch them? "Play date" for an hour while at class then do a babysitting co-op wiht another friend or neighbor?
My children are 7, 4, and 2. I just received my Associates at 32 and taking a year off before I go back, for many of my own personal reasons!
Yes it is a decision between you and your husband. But I hope I gave you some insights and things to think about. As far as advice? Not this time but sit down write out pros and cons of all three of your choices and think of options available.
Good luck!
CC
