cats are so nice and friendly
By smuggeridge
@smuggeridge (2148)
January 16, 2007 3:42pm CST
YOU FOOLS!! YOU BLIND IGNORANT FOOLS!! Do you really think that cats like us, that they like being petted and stroked? of course cats don't like being petted but they put up with it because they are trying to lure you into a false sense of security. They let you pet and stroke them, and then one day they will rise up and kill us all.
I'm not a mad man in the midst of another rant but i bring you all the truth. I know of their plot and that is why every cat i have ever been near has tried to kill me. I will tell you a story that will shock you.
Last septemmber i went to stay at a friends house (James), James has a cat, quite a big ginger cat and for the entire first day at his house the cat strolled around rubbing up against me leg and jumping on my lap. I didn't like this all that much but james said she was a nice cat so i played along. By the evening i had nearly fallen into its evil plot, i even heard myself saying "actually your quite a nice cat" but at this moment James left the room and the cat turned on me and started hissing a flayling it's claws at me, in my haste i threw the cat on the floor but it came back at me, i rushed from the room into the safety of the kitchen. I told the story to james but he told me i was being stupid, nothing more happened that evening but that night is one i will never forget.
About 2am i was awoken to a horrible soreness on the bottom of my foot. I look up jist in time to see the cat take a swipe at my foot, i grab my foot and find nothing but a river of blood pouring from my foot, i kick the cat out of the room and went and bandaged up my foot.
The cuts weren't actually that bad, just lots of blood, but this is proof that they know that i am aware of their plan for world domination so they have attempted to take me out. I beg you all not to fall for the cats evil plan
I can only hope that this messgae reaches you before the cats get to me.
Good luck averyone
Viva la resistance!
11 people like this
63 responses
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
16 Jan 07
LOL!!!! I knew that I never fully trusted cats. They are far too independent of creatures *laugh* Now I see what they have been planning all along. ^_~ I am so sorry to hear of your incident with your friend's cat. It is amazing to think how that cat was just lying in wait to deal with you the minute that your friend left the room.
Again, a hearty lol for your post.. I do love cats, really, but I don't relate to them the way that I do dogs. ^_^
@dangerdvd (320)
• Italy
17 Jan 07
lol! i love dog and dog only! ihihi cats are so bad for me! they broke the sofĂ , and all in your house!!! averey day. they entere in home only for eat and eat only!
@RavenPhoenix (97)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Well I don't know about world domination lol, but there is some truth to what you say. If cats were bigger yes they would kill and eat us if they were really hungry its instinct. They are However smart and know their limits.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Thank you my dogs have been trying to tell that for years but I keep ignoring them and get another cat. Now I want to see if DoubleB66 responds to this topic!! Ha ha
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Oops I should have known and read all before I posted. Please Your Majestic Overlord do not give me a (-) I beg for mercy.
1 person likes this
@jackslaiter (371)
• India
17 Jan 07
No way smugg..cats don't have any evil plans..they are just like any other animal, living and acting on their insticts. I think you had a bad time with them which changed your views. I love cats..they are so sweet. Cats were worshipped as Gods in Egypt at one time.Yes they have their little habits, but you need to look at their history. Lions were roaming before we were....so it's not fair to cut into their territory. We domesticated wild felines and keep them as pets. As humans you have to take the wild side of them too. They are still animals...not people. I love cats and their mischief. You obviously never had a cat for a companion. You should give it a whirl.
@nuttmeg (440)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Didn't you know? Women and cats have been in cohorts for ages, since practically the dawn of time. Why do you think more women are drawn to cats than men? The men who take cats into their lives merely have come to the realization of their true role as the cat's pet or slave, and have thus accepted their fate. Better to join the enemy sometimes than to work against them.
It was our private little conspiracy, making any government one look like child's play. Freemasons? New World Order? They have nothing on us! But since you've gone and foolishly brought it out into the open, blowing our cover, it's best to surrender while you can, because who knows what the next cat will do, unpredictable creatures that they are...
My ex-husband was foolish enough to go against what was, never accepting his role. He made the mistake of ticking off our cat and myself all in one night, and met a worse fate than your own. After this mistake was made, the cat decided to get even in the middle of the night and creep up onto the ex's sleeping body, illuminated by the moonlight, let out a soft meow-meow (much like D's definitions) and gave him a nice, wet surprise. It was fun to see. Never underestimate the kitty.
Surrender, unharmed, while you can. Resistance is futile.
@moonshadow68 (723)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I fear I have been brainwashed by the evil cat conspiracy. Until 3 months ago, I was an avowed dog lover, convinced that no cat could ever be worthy of my household.
But the evils overlords sent a small, helpless looking kitten to my door, wounded no less, so that my heart strings would be stirred.
In those three months, she has cost me $300 in vet bills and $100 in food, litter and toys, and somehow, (it must be the brainwashing) I continue to spend more. Today, I signed her up for kitty health insurance.
She masquerades as a dog and will heel and fetch on command, but now that I have been warned of her evil plot, I will be more careful!
1 person likes this
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
17 Jan 07
pshhh cats are nuthin' they'll never rule the world, its them dang squirrels you gotta watch out for man! You've seen the commercial where they psyche the car off the road then high-five each other... there's more truth in that commercial than people know, its true, damn true...
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
17 Jan 07
cats are too arrogant and in love with themselves to ban together for long. Squirrels work together, team work, think about it...
@jessicamom24 (391)
• United States
17 Jan 07
well you dumb jerk cat sknow when you don't like them and they will turn on you just in a second they will turn on you if you don't like them in the first place so just watch what you say about cats becuase there is alot of people that are cat lovers so watch what you say
@smuggeridge (2148)
•
17 Jan 07
now thats just rude. Theres no need to call me a dumb jerk! I'm the injured party here, did you not read that i was being perfectly friendly to it and it attacked me. Sounds to me that its the cat thats the dumb jerk
@mnflower (1299)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I have 4 cats in my house and you are way out there on this one...Maybe if your hatred for cats wasn't so strong they wouldn't be so playful and attack your poor foot like that...My cats are constantly attacking my feet but it is a playful thing for cats, it isn't a killing instinct...your way to funny to think this way...um cats can be declawed also and live happily without clawing((feet))...I disagree with you bigtime on this one..I have had all kinds of cats since I was a young child and never would they try to kill anyone....please get some help you have a cat phobia is all this is the wrong message to be sending out to people....
1 person likes this
@butterflygirl (498)
•
17 Jan 07
You're totally right...and I have proof. Compare these two diaries:
The diary of a dog:
7am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9am - Oh boy! The Kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
6pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!
7pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9pm - Oh boy! The couch! My favourite!
10pm - Oh boy! Bed! My favourite!
The diary of a cat:
Day 179 of my captivity...My captors continue to taunt me with strange little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furnture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking was almost successful - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try and strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing 'allergies'. Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other 'captives' are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Be afraid...be very afraid...
@smuggeridge (2148)
•
17 Jan 07
LOL. Thankyou a very well put together diary, and very accurate. We need to make more people aware, i've given this warning to everyone yet 90% of them just tell me that they are nice and cute. We must do something before its too late
@Gworld (29)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Cats have the ability to see ghosts,but i don't think their evil. when you see one staring into an empty space there is a ghost near. I also heard they have the ability to walk in and out of our dreams with ease, when your lost in a nightmare they can guide you back to your safe resting place. when cats were blamed for killing babies in their cribs, the cat was there trying to ward off demons that want to kill babies. If the cat fails than it takes the blame just because it is witnessed in the crib. these are ancient egyptian stories
@TonyMontana714 (64)
• United States
17 Jan 07
yes cats are nice and friendly but i think dogs are more smarter then cats and moer kuter too..
@philipjones (214)
•
17 Jan 07
To me, the choice of having a cat or a dog is hard, I prefer not to have 1, I would much prefer a animal like a hamster or bird or something really easy to look after, I like hamsters.
1 person likes this
@lilmeowsy (685)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
Erm, you're weird. I think you should go and see a psychologist or something. Cats are not all evil. Maybe cats just don't like you. Don't go blaming them and accusing them of having an evil plan. Sorry. I have always loved cats. I don't play favorites. I like dogs too. ^^ This topic wasn't serious. It was a joke. I found it riculously funny. LOL!
@smuggeridge (2148)
•
17 Jan 07
I may be weird but that doesn't mean i need to see a psychologist. I'm fully aware of my insaneness so i'm happy with it
@kent_potat (65)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 07
I have 3 cats at home n all of them are scare to other people. I also don't believe in your story.