Career and Money dilemma in a relationship
By sechsey
@sechsey (1831)
Canada
January 17, 2007 9:32pm CST
I am currently having some dilemma right now regarding whether to get a job or not because of many reasons.
Here's the story. I am married. Dependent to my husband in terms of money because i am unemployed. I am unemployed in the first place because of both our choices and not of lack of effort.It was also end of the year and it was difficult to find a job already esp since we're also relocating to canada from the philippines possibly may or June. Sometimes that hinders on company policy to hire long term employees. so due to all this, he is paying my expenses here while he is working abroad. I have a small store that brings in a lil money but not that much on daily basis.
So now, a company called me for an interview because of a recommnedation. Company pays the same amount of money my husband sends me. Work is night shift 8hours possible to change schedules too and 6days a week too. My dilemma is: Should i even try to go thr and be accepted? I mean that is money saved by husband, lets say about 1500dollars in 3-4months. But i keep thinking, he is coming home for a good one month on April here before heading back to Canada for good until I am going to follow him on May or June. No point him coming over if all i do is just go to work at night, come back during the day and sleep while he is already up and awake. plus i dont really want to work night shift but due to financial matters i am considering the option. The job is stressful too and not something I am trained to do but pays good money. i mean should i set my own conerns aside in order to help him? Should i just look for a regular job or any job for that matter even if he has to wait for me everyday when he is here. Btw, my husband is Canadian and I am filipino so he doesnt really have any friends here too except some of my lady friends who are also working.
Enlighten me please...
1 person likes this
3 responses
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
This discussion is already a month old and you have probably made a decision as to what to do about this offer you have received. But if your husband is sending you money then that is good, and obviously it is his free choice to do so. As you so rightly point out, he is due to visit for a month in April and certainly neither of you will be wanting for you to be working while he is here.
The options then are that if you take the job, he doesn't visit the Philippines but instead saves the money and more importantly the time and you spend it together when you move to Canada. The alternative is that you do not take a job that will not allow you to spend time with him. The thing is, do you have a definate time when you can go to Canada or is it just a guess? Also if your husband does not come to visit you in the Philippines, how will you feel because it will be much longer before you see each other and how will be feel about not seeing you?
The job is a great opportunity for you, as it will enable you to make some money which will pay your costs till you go to Canada. Also it means that your husband has that much extra money for when you start your life together and money is something that we all need. Also, if you are working and he doesn't visit, then the extra money will come in handy if he can get some time off when you first arrive in Canada. It will be a whole new world for you and I am certain your husband is looking forward to showing his country to you. It would be very nice to have those extra dollars and you will be able to spend them together. :)
It might not be a job that you are trained in, but it will be an experience and you will certainly learn something from taking the job. If you are going to look for a job when you get to Canada, then the more experience you have, will make it easier to get a job there, or at least that is the general principle.
Finally I do not see that you getting a job and earning money is about helping your husband, but more about helping each other. When you are married, a couple should share things with each other, rather than it all being one or the other.
Good luck and please let us know what you have decided. :)
@sechsey (1831)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
Thanks for that ossie! Actually, after taking everything in consideration, we decided that we do want to see each other first before he moves back to canada and i wait in the Philippines. Its important for us to spend time together since we rarely get this chance and who knows how long the visa will be. Its still on going process and estimated to be may or even July. And that said, we wanted to save as well by me moving back to my parents place instead of renting an apartment here in another city which takes up most of the expenses. So by me moving, i can spend time with family before i go to canada and at the same time, lessen the expenses and save money in the process. two birds with one stone like they say.
I know the job offers including those i received after the call center one is good and will be advantageous for me in the future, but i thought maybe i can find a small scale job after he comes in April. While waiting, i am involve in alot of small time businesses including mylot, reselling and even tending to my small store here so i can at least expect a little money to come in rather than just sit around and let my husband do the job.:)
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
2 Mar 07
Thanks very much for giving me best response sechsey and I am pleased about so many things. Firstly that you have moved back with your parents and are able to spend some time with them before you leave for Canada. Plus your husband is coming to see you now which is very important for both of you I suspect, particularly as you don't get to see too much of each other and there is no definate confirmation date on your Canadian visa.
You can also spend some time building up your business, which hopefully you will be able to transfer to Canada when you settle there. Have you sold anything on eBay as well, as that is truly international and can be done from Canada too.
Good luck to all of you sechsey and enjoy the time when your husband does visit. :)
@marief2rnurse (2704)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I think you should just rest for now. Or spend some time with family and friends, quality time that is since you'll be leaving the country soon. Call centers are not worth working in. My first time working in one I had an upset stomach every single day for 2 months, my doctor said it was stress because of how our training was like. I wasn't even thinking about the stress, but my body was suffering, I couldn't believe it. I'm not saying this could happen to you but enjoy your time here. It will be totall different in your new home.
@lovemykids2much (140)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
i think it would be best to just spend time with your family, after all, you'll be leaving soon and wouldn't see them for a while, so just enjoy your time with them while you're still here.
